February 18, 2022 10:24 AM UTC

Ex-Sen. Larry Crowder Can't Handle Two Guys Kissing

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• by: Colorado Pols

Former GOP Sen. Larry Crowder of rural southern Colorado was a mixed bag of culture-warrior gaffes and foibles during his two terms in the Colorado Senate, punctuated by occasional moments of clarity like his vote to expand Medicaid coverage in 2013–the only Republican in the Colorado Senate to do so while the rest bemoaned the horrors of “Obamacare.”

And then he compared abolishing Columbus Day with the KKK. It’s necessary to take the good with the bad.

Last weekend, former Sen. Crowder made it clear for the record when asked by absolutely no one that he is not repeat not okay with increasingly common depictions in advertising of LGBT couples doing a…well, a thing that straight couples do all the time. No, not that thing:

Kissing, folks. Larry Crowder cannot abide the sight of two guys kissing.

Now, we can’t speculate about how much kissing former Sen. Crowder does in his private life, though for the other partner we imagine the experience is a lot like kissing a harbor seal. But we’re willing to bet that in addition to one commercial Crowder may have seen during coverage of the Winter Olympics that featured two guys kissing, there were half a dozen with heterosexual couples kissing or otherwise intimate that Crowder found perfectly normal–even stimulating. Never mind the exception most heterosexual men make for two women kissing, which is by comparison generally considered to be hot.

Let us politely suggest that Larry Crowder’s days of being stimulated either way should be over.