November 03, 2010 06:47 PM UTC

Suck My Thumb!

•  
• by: JO

[Journos call ’em thumbsuckers: words that don’t require the writer to pick up a telephone, take a stroll, etc.]

The 2010 election was:

–a tsunami

–hurricane

–tornado

–The People Speaking with volume turned to [10] [9] ]8] ]7] [6] [5] ]4] [3] ]2] [1]

–another election in a series that all take place in a context: economic good times or bad, wars abroad or not, sunny weather or fog and drizzle.

–a heretothen unreleasd Marx Brothers movin’ picture

–Outcome unknown until we know the margin of votes in House & Senate  races; did Republicans all win by 90% to 10%? Or were the Buck/Bennet and Reid/Angle contests more typical? What was the count in terms of votes, vs. outcomes in winner-take-all contests?

–Says nothing about policy since voters know nothing about policy.

–One helluva good con job by ad salespeople from an outdated medium, TeeVee.

The voters were really voting for/against

–someone who wasn’t on the ballot

–an individual in their state or district

–in favor of Cleaning House (50% off on last year’s SuperSweeper by Hoover)

–to give vent to an emotion, notably anxiety trending towards fear.

The outcome of the election will be:

–Congress accomplishes nothing

–Congress accomplishes next to nothing

–John Boehner orders Size XXL ego from Amazon (free shipping if ordered before Thanksgiving); full stop.

The outcome of the election in 2012 will depend on:

–whether Barack Obama gets his Voice back

–whether young ‘uns vote or not

–whether the economy cycles ’round, by magic

–an unforeseen event, such as

  # new war in the Middle East involving

     > Yemen

     > Iran

     > Israel/Palestine

     > Ingushetia

  # trade war with China

  # prolonged drought on Fruited Plains

  # new terrorist attack launched from Yemen

The only thing we know for sure is that everything turned out exactly as predicted long, long ago by ColoradoPols et al. Congratulations!

So, a toast to the perspicacity of bloggers left and right. You were all right! God it’s great to know what’s gonna happen in the future; hardly any need to wait and experience the Real Thing.