Brian Porter at the Fort Morgan Times put out a story late last week bizarre enough that no matter how it ends, it’s worth a mention in this space on grounds of sheer absurdity:
[Phillips] County Commissioner Garold Roberts initiated the concern over “the red helicopter” Wednesday during a Northeastern Colorado call with U.S. Rep. Ken Buck, his staff and which included county commissioners from Elbert, Logan, Phillips and Yuma Counties…
Buck queried whether it could be a “Chinese spy helicopter” before directing his staff to pursue answers. [Pols emphasis]
“Is there a way to get more information that it is an ag project or whatever it is?” Buck asked. “Why are they doing it? What is the purpose? We need to get to the bottom of it. Let’s find out why it is flying over Colorado. They shouldn’t be operating, unless local law enforcement and officials can understand why.”

It’s not quite true, of course. Unless operating in controlled airspace of some kind, it’s perfectly legal to fly a helicopter around the Eastern Plains without proving in advance to the county government that you’re not a Chinese spy. Much like mysterious drones spotted buzzing around the area a couple of years ago, there are perfectly good reasons for federal authorities to patrol the vicinity of nuclear missile silos in the area while not necessarily telling the local yokels the details. Or it could just be a hobbyist flying his homebuilt autogyro proudly over the Land of the Free?
Don’t get us wrong, we were as disappointed as anyone that Colorado missed out on the Chinese spy balloon North American tour, especially after it was shot down and found to not contain Balloon Boy. But not every unidentified flying object is going to turn out to be from China now.
Presumably, Rep. Buck has enough of a security clearance to at least confirm it’s not a “Chinese spy helicopter” buzzing the fields of Phillips County, and when he does he’ll be good enough to inform Phillips County commissioners so they don’t worry–or, depending on their flavor of conspiracy theory, worry more.
Like they said on the X-Files, “trust no one.”
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