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April 11, 2023 11:36 AM UTC

Buck All Over Phillips County "Chinese Spy Helicopter" Mystery

  • 15 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

Brian Porter at the Fort Morgan Times put out a story late last week bizarre enough that no matter how it ends, it’s worth a mention in this space on grounds of sheer absurdity:

[Phillips] County Commissioner Garold Roberts initiated the concern over “the red helicopter” Wednesday during a Northeastern Colorado call with U.S. Rep. Ken Buck, his staff and which included county commissioners from Elbert, Logan, Phillips and Yuma Counties…

Buck queried whether it could be a “Chinese spy helicopter” before directing his staff to pursue answers. [Pols emphasis]

“Is there a way to get more information that it is an ag project or whatever it is?” Buck asked. “Why are they doing it? What is the purpose? We need to get to the bottom of it. Let’s find out why it is flying over Colorado. They shouldn’t be operating, unless local law enforcement and officials can understand why.”

Rep. Ken Buck with his Chinese helicopter getter.

It’s not quite true, of course. Unless operating in controlled airspace of some kind, it’s perfectly legal to fly a helicopter around the Eastern Plains without proving in advance to the county government that you’re not a Chinese spy. Much like mysterious drones spotted buzzing around the area a couple of years ago, there are perfectly good reasons for federal authorities to patrol the vicinity of nuclear missile silos in the area while not necessarily telling the local yokels the details. Or it could just be a hobbyist flying his homebuilt autogyro proudly over the Land of the Free?

Don’t get us wrong, we were as disappointed as anyone that Colorado missed out on the Chinese spy balloon North American tour, especially after it was shot down and found to not contain Balloon Boy. But not every unidentified flying object is going to turn out to be from China now.

Presumably, Rep. Buck has enough of a security clearance to at least confirm it’s not a “Chinese spy helicopter” buzzing the fields of Phillips County, and when he does he’ll be good enough to inform Phillips County commissioners so they don’t worry–or, depending on their flavor of conspiracy theory, worry more.

Like they said on the X-Files, “trust no one.”

Comments

15 thoughts on “Buck All Over Phillips County “Chinese Spy Helicopter” Mystery

  1. Last time I looked, aircraft had to have an identifying number (N-Number) displayed on "Both external side surfaces: Engine nacelles, roof structure, and fixed surfaces visible from 500 feet away, in a horizontal line." Once found, there are databases available to identify the vehicle & entity assigned that number. 

    Some red helicopters seem to have pretty high-visibility n-numbers: 

    If those numbers AREN'T seen, there's a bigger problem to chase.

     

  2. In the 1990's, the Right was fixated on black helicopters flying over the United States with Russian troops, under the command of the United Nations, ready to swoop down and take over the USA. Since that conspiracy did not materialize, I guess people like Buck and the county commissioner need a new one. I wonder if they can successfully pedal this one for 30 years. No need to be too harsh but as Voltaire said: "It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere."

      1. I think the mystery of the “red” helicopter has been solved without a congressional investigation. The flight for life helicopter at the Medical Center of the Rockies in Loveland, Colorado is red. I wonder if that means the MCR hospital in Loveland is a Chinese communist helicopter base? Maybe Ken and his staff can refocus on that question (or rabbit hole).

      2. Unnamed's comment got me thinking about something. When dealing with such a serious international security issue regarding our relationship with Russia, a country that has around 5,977 nuclear warheads, 1,588 currently deployed by a semi delusional dictator, the calculation on how to deal with Russia has to be a very careful and well thought out one.  The height of the cold war and the Cuban missile crisis demonstrated how crucial this issue is and how carefully it has to be handled. In spite of all of this many of the MAGAT's have put "America first" by ditching the long adhered to policy of politics stopping at the water's edge, and are saying fuck it, if Biden's for Ukraine I am against Ukraine.

        These are not serious people. They are a juvenile weakness. They just want to fuck up everything, and don't give a damn how this impacts our country. They need to be voted out.

    1. I remember that! There was a right-wing screwball from a Republican part of Larimer County whom Stan Matsunaka beat for a state senate seat because he was fixated on black helicopters.

      That was back in the day when the GOP was good about refusing to co-sign the wacky conspiracy bullshit – well, outside of El Paso County. El Paso County, of course, still had Charlie Duke and Maryanne Tebedo who were batshit crazy before it became fashionable.

      1. That would be Kevin Lundberg. Matsunaka defeated him in the 1998 general election by around 700 votes. We did not know it then but Lundberg was the original election denier in Colorado. After he lost, he accused the Republican clerk and recorder of Larimer County, without evidence, of fixing the votes for Matsunaka. I guess Trump is a Lundberg disciple.

  3. Careful, Ken, that red helicopter is just a little bit too obvious — an inscrutable decoy, no doubt.

    Wondering if my Congressman has looked into that flock of “Chinese spy crows” my MAGA neighbor posting on TikTok noticed flying here over Douglas County earlier this morning?

    So glad to have a Congressional Representative with a highly rational hypothesis for everything, and so much available time on his hands!

  4. Putin is rumored to be battling cancer and Parkinson’s disease. I haven’t found any reputable reporting on this, but rumors abound. Hard to say what consequences would cascade into  if he is unable to continue his “King of the world” schtick

    1. Comments in the articles from last week about the

      senior Russian security officer who defected last year has given rare insight into the paranoid lifestyle of Vladimir Putin, confirming details of a secret train network, identical offices in different cities, a strict personal quarantine and escalating security protocols…..

      While the strict quarantine regime has fuelled rumours that Putin may be seriously ill and worried about complications from coronavirus, Karakulov said he had seen no indications that Putin was in poor health.

      Granted, personal contact ended sometime last year and things could change. 

  5. There is a red " stretch" Jet-ranger that flies eastern slope area and its a business aircraft of some sort. I can't see well enough to get a N # but it ain't chinese.  Gawd Buck and the Ftards of CO GOP are stupid and dangerous.  I am a retired helo and jet pilot.  These idiots may actually shoot at it which is scary. 

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