April 10, 2026 12:53 PM UTC

Colorado Dominatrixes Have All The Fun, Bryon Noem Edition

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• by: Colorado Pols

Veteran Colorado reporter Susan Greene, now working for the UK Daily Mail who recently reported on Rep. Lauren Boebert following the Kid Rock tour with the tab paid by campaign cash, has an update on the wild and rapid public deconstruction of former Department of Homeland Security Secretary, South Dakota governor, and puppy slayer Kristi Noem’s already infamously strained marriage–and the reason we’re talking about tha tawdry subject in this space is the Colorado Springs-based dominatrix at the heart of the story:

Kristi Noem’s husband Bryon had an on-off secret online relationship with a left-wing dominatrix for more than nine years, the Daily Mail can exclusively reveal.

At times, the former Homeland Security Secretary’s husband encouraged Shy Sotomayor as she repeatedly insulted his wife. Elsewhere, Bryon fantasized about ‘leaving’ Kristi for the woman he worshipped as his ‘goddess’ and discussed his desire to transition his gender through surgery and hormone therapy…

In the recordings, Bryon is heard professing his subservience to Sotomayor, who wasn’t shy in dissing his wife, then-head of the DHS, and in particular criticizing her handling of aggressive ICE operations in Minneapolis.

In the end, Sotomayor said, Bryon’s demands for her attention seemingly grew so desperate that, by late March, she started cutting back on their paid online and phone sessions.

Shy Sotomayor, described in the story by Greene as being five feet even with (pardon us) “extra-large 2500cc breast implants,” reportedly satisfied the First Gentleman of South Dakota’s peculiar kink for many years–and Noem continued to pay for online sessions even after Sotomayor figured out exactly who she was talking to. That’s how the personal fetishes of people in positions of power, or in this case adjacent to people in power, become security risks:

‘If a media organization can find this out, you can assume with a high degree of confidence that a hostile intelligence service knows this as well,’ said former CIA officer Marc Polymeropoulos. [Pols emphasis]

Trump only ousted Kristi from his cabinet in March amid, among other controversies, rumors that she had been having a longstanding affair with her aide Corey Lewandowski, the President’s former campaign manager.

As always in these situations, the point is not to shame people for their peccadillos. But where they converge problematically with official responsibilities, reporting about it is in the public interest.

And of course, in the case of “family values” Republicans with a closeted fetish for “bimbofication,” the oozing hypocrisy is the fairest of fair game.