June 12, 2026 10:49 AM UTC

America, Brought to You by Monster Energy Drinks

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• by: Colorado Pols

Preparations are almost complete for Sunday’s mixed martial arts event on the White House lawn that is being billed as a celebration of President Trump’s 80th birthday the 250th anniversary of America’s founding.

A massive arena has been constructed literally on the lawn of the White House, complete with huge sponsor ads facing every direction.

As late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday:

Could there be a better metaphor for this administration than a giant Monster Energy logo on the White House lawn?

As Eric Reynolds writes for the Courier-Journal in Louisville:

The transformation of the republic into a streaming event is almost complete. Somewhere between the collapse of local journalism and the invention of crypto-flavored beef jerky, the madman in charge decided to celebrate our 250th birthday by staging a fight on the White House lawn. Not a metaphorical political fight … an actual fist fight.

The same White House lawn that used to host Easter egg rolls and diplomatic ceremonies. Men in boring gray suits negotiated treaties here while reporters chain-smoked themselves into early graves deciphering the language of the empire. Now, we are one Monster Energy drink away from seeing a heavyweight contender suplex someone while the Marine Band plays “Hail to the Chief” through blown out speakers borrowed from a county fair…

…Two hundred and fifty years old. Usually nations celebrate milestones by reflecting on history. We celebrate by dropping an octagon out on the front lawn of the presidency and covering it in crypto advertisements.

We don’t have much to say about this other than to be sad. Like everything else with the Trump administration, we can only be glad that it will all be over soon.