Take Cover: Lauren Boebert's FART Has Been Unleashed

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by: Colorado Pols

When it comes to FARTs, “whoever smelt it dealt it.”

As Olivia Beavers reports for Politico, the U.S. House Freedom Caucus is deploying a novelly-named machination in their tail-wagging-the-dog arsenal as the intraparty standoff over House Speaker Mike Johnson’s uncertain future continues to escalate. Hold your noses:

Conservatives in the House Freedom Caucus are signing up to take shifts to monitor the chamber floor in order to prevent their own party leaders from making unilateral moves that could curb their power.

The Freedom Caucus’ Floor Action Response Team, shorthanded as “FART,” [Pols emphasis] aims to guard against an unannounced request to pass resolutions that would stealthily limit their leverage against leadership, according to two Republicans with direct knowledge, who were granted anonymity to speak candidly…

Release of the House Freedom Caucus’ FART–yes, that’s the name supporters came up with–comes as less chaos-minded Republicans propose a rule change that would require more than a single disgruntled member be required to file a motion to vacate. That’s the key concession demanded of ex-Speaker Kevin McCarthy before the Freedom Caucus would commit to supporting him, and predictably resulted in McCarthy’s ouster just months later.

Although the FART is being smelt on the floor of the U.S. House for what appears to be the first time during the current conflict, as Freedom Caucus stalwart Rep. Lauren Boebert explained back in 2021, the ridiculous acronym you’re supposed to nonetheless be taking seriously is not itself new:

“We make things really smelly for them.”

All we can say is, it’s a statement truer than Boebert will probably ever realize.

Though not for the reason Boebert thinks. If the goal was to prove that the U.S. House is being held hostage by a small faction of laughably unserious people…mission accomplished.

9 thoughts on “Take Cover: Lauren Boebert’s FART Has Been Unleashed”

Lauren Boebert is a Worthless POS says:

April 18, 2024 at 3:42 pm

I thought the acronym was a joke. They are really calling themselves the Fast Action Response Team?

Warning: you definitely do not want to deal with the Fast Action Response Team after eating the notorious pork sliders at Boebert's now defunct greasy spoon.

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1. bullshit! says:
  
  April 18, 2024 at 4:21 pm
  
  That would be the Special House Action Response Team (SHART).
  
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  1. MichaelBowman says:
    
    April 18, 2024 at 4:40 pm
    
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    1. spaceman2021 says:
      
      April 19, 2024 at 12:12 pm
      
      Hot hot hot hot hot!
      
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2. MichaelBowman says:
  
  April 18, 2024 at 4:22 pm
  
  Quite the contrary, LB. I think her tainted sliders are required eating while on duty! That FART shield would far surpass anything Marge’s Jewish Soace Lasrrs could pull off.
  
  But don’t fear- the ~~Calvary~~ Cadet Bone Spurs is saddling up! To quote Jeff Hunt, “Yee Haw!!!”
  
  Hobo and Fat Donnie’s schtick requires the rubes to gobble up every lie. As of a month ago the European Union as a whole has committed approximately $93 billion in aid to Ukraine; the United States total aid commitment is valued at about $75 billion.
  
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  1. JohnInDenver says:
    
    April 19, 2024 at 6:50 am
    When there is a statement about "the war would never have started," I keep waiting for SOMEONE to ask the former *resident
    
    Russia attacked Ukraine beginning in 2014. How would you have kept Russia from invading then?
    
    Russia continued to illegally occupy Ukraine's territory during the Trump Sad!-ministration. Why weren't there effective moves to end that occupation during all 4 years of the term?
    
    What would Trump have done to stop the invasion of February 2022? Without details, his boast is the equivalent of his boasts on health care insurance ("better! cheaper!") and the oft-promised American infrastructure week.
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    1. Lauren Boebert is a Worthless POS says:
      
      April 19, 2024 at 6:56 am
      
      "Russia attacked Ukraine beginning in 2014. How would you have kept Russia from invading then?"
      
      That's easy. OBAMA'S FAULT! OBAMA'S FAULT!
      
      “What would Trump have done to stop the invasion of February 2022? Without details, his boast is the equivalent of his boasts on health care insurance (“better! cheaper!”) and the oft-promised American infrastructure week.”
      
      That is a fair question but also immaterial. The people who respond to his rants are not interested in substantive policy answers. You and I might want to hear an answer, but his supporters are not.
      
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    2. MichaelBowman says:
      
      April 19, 2024 at 8:49 am
      
      Under the leadership of Trump’s Yahoo Caucus in the House his grand “American Infrastructure Week” was transformed to a short-lived, unsuccessful battle (his personal ~~Vietnam~~ Gettysburg), “HOOHAA” Hands Off Our Home Appliances Act
      
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      1. kwtree says:
        
        April 19, 2024 at 9:51 am
        
        Fart and Hoohaa jokes. I can picture our Republican colleagues, sniggering and snorting while their middle-school regressed brains come up with acronyms for their legislation. This is what they do instead of governing.
        
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