July 19, 2010 09:45 AM UTC

McInnis Resignation Letter Found in Trash (Satire)

• 11 Comments
• by: peacemonger

(Satire)

This was found in a dumpster outside of a feed store in Durango:

Dear Friend,

As you may know by now, I have decided not to run for Governorre-election for the office of Governor in 2010.

I am so proud of all you have done to support my campaign. Your incredible support of this effort put us in a strong position to win this race re-election. And I’m confident that your sustained commitment to our forward-thinking vision for the state will ensure we elect a governor who continues leading, will lead Colorado forward this November.

So before I explain my deeply personal decision not to run for reelection election, let me just say: thank you.

Almost five years months ago, in the spring of 2005 2010, I began running for governor of Colorado.

My campaign theme — the Colorado Promise “It’s about Colorado. It’s about you”– was a deeply held belief that we as a state were not living up to our full potential.

So we laid out a vision to create a New Republican party New Energy Economy, to build up other Industries of the Future like aerospace and biosciences, to reform our education and healthcare systems, and to modernize our transportation system.

Today, even in the face of the worst recession since the Great Depression, that vision is becoming a reality. We are leading want to lead Colorado forward. People all across Colorado are fulfilling the Colorado Promise, and Colorado is on the road to recovery.

It is my privilege and my honor to serve as governor candidate of in the greatest state in America.

Over the past years, but particularly over this last year, I have attempted to balance many roles in my life. I have been a candidate the Governor, I have beena candidate for re-election a member of the Hair Club for Men, and I have also been a husband and a father.

I am proud of my work as a candidate governor . I am proud of the direction of the state of Colorado the Republican party.

I am proud of my campaign, of the staff we have built, and of our re- election efforts.

It is my family who has sacrificed the most — my wife, Jeanne  Lori, and my four  a bunch of our kids. I have not found the proper balance where my family is concerned, and I have not made them the priority they should be.

Ending one of my roles — as a candidate for re- election in 2010 — will allow me to concentrate on the things that are most important: taking care of my family, and taking care of Colorado.

While this decision allows me to make my family a priority, it also allows me to focus on keeping  watch others keep the state budget balanced and keeping Colorado on the road to recovery.

The Colorado  economy is getting better, but we still have budget-cutting to do on the ’09-’10 and ’10-’11 budgets, and we’ll be submitting the ’11-’12 budget in November.

By not running for governorre- election, I’ll be able to make the tough and unpopular decisions that simply need to get made — free and clear of the sometimes bitter partisan politics of an election year.

We’re positioning Colorado for a strong recovery with our New Energy Economy  a Republican coup, our job-creation strategies and our education reforms.

The rest of the country is looking to Colorado on everything from the economy to energy to education.

We’re in a great position, and we’re on the right path. I look forward to spending the next 4  12 months keeping our budget balanced and our economy growing helping the Republican candidate.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for giving me the honor and the privilege to serve as your governor candidate– and for all that you have done to help lead Colorado  America forward.

Sincerely,

Bill Ritter, Jr. Scott McInnis

Governor of Colorado Candidate

(Attention “Attorneys to Elect Scott McInnis”: I was just messing with you. This isn’t real. THIS IS A JOKE — I REPEAT, THIS IS A JOKE, haha. Read Bill Ritter’s resignation letter here:

http://action.ritterforgoverno…