December 04, 2009 08:37 PM UTC

Q & A

•  
• by: JO

Early this morning, very early, I had an interview with Mr. Bennet, who’s filling in for an elected senator.

Q. Good morning. Are you up early or up late?

A. Ha ha. I’ve never done this sort of thing before, you know.

Q. I know. So, have you heard from the grocery workers about their negotiations?

A. Yeah, right. Oh, excuse me. I’ve got to take this phone call. Hello? Yes, this is Mike Bennet. Oh, hi. Sure, I recognize you. You’re with the Safeway Political Action Committee…. Yeah, I got the $10,000 contribution. Many thanks. … Of course I remember! I really appreciate it…. Ok, talk to you later… Now, where were we?

Q. I was wondering about the pending health reform bill in the Senate. Seems like pharmaceuticals have become awfully expensive lately.

A. Yeah, right. Well…. Damn! There’s that cell phone! One sec…. Hello? Yeah, this is the senator…. Oh hi. You’re from Glaxo Smith Klein? Of course I remember; don’t let the fact that you split the donations into two smaller pieces fool anyone! What can I do for you? Health care reform?… Well, you know, we’ve got to do something for show, but don’t worry about the nest egg… Okay, talk later. Sorry.

Q. Well, I’ve noticed that the boys on Wall Street seem to have gone back to their megabonuses while unemployment is still actually rising. Any thoughts on that?

A. Yeah, right. Oh, damn! Another call. Just a second. Hello? American Bankers Association? Sure, I know my ABCs! How are you? … Yeah,  I got both contributions, $6,000 in all. Thanks. … Sure, I know there are demands out there for reform. Don’t worry, they’ll pass… No,no, pass away, I mean. Haha! Do you think I don’t know which side my butter’s breaded on? Haha. Been there, done that. Look, I’m in a meeting right now. Can I call back? Thanks again for the money. Of course I don’t think of it as a bribe! What were we saying?

Q. What’s your thought on a public health insurance bill? Seems like it’s awfully popular.

A. Public health insurance? Well…. Can you believe these lobbyists? One sec… Mike Bennet here! Council of Insurance Agents and Brokers, five-thousand bucks in two chunks. Right. Thanks.  … Of course I remember. What can I do for you? … Sure, anything. You’re valuable members of the country club, no? Ok, later. Ok, as we were saying.

Q. We were wondering…

A.: Sec. Yes, Gloria? A constituent? Well, who is it? Can’t she talk to someone in the office? I’m busy with the campaign now. Look, I’m sorry, I’ve got a meeting with some contributors, errrr, advisers. Maybe we can reschedule? Maybe you’ll have better luck next time. It’s two hours later in the East, you know….