February 15, 2023 02:05 PM UTC

The Revolution Probably Won't Start Saturday

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• by: Colorado Pols

But we’re dutybound to advise potential visitors to the Colorado Capitol this coming Saturday at noon that some of the most hardcore of the hardcore nether-right conspiracy set will be out in…well, we can’t say for sure they’ll be out in force, but in some quantity:

As a general rule, when the stated goal of a protest in the United States of America is a “tribunal” you know you’re not dealing with serious individuals. But they are mad as hell about pretty much the entire canon of modern-day conspiracy theories, from COVID-19 to Pizzagate. We don’t speak conspiracy fluently, but we assume that’s what they mean by “bioweapons” and “pedophilia.” Lest you think this is just one-off crackpottery, the event in Denver is set to coincide with protests at noon allegedly set for all 50 states:

Now we have to see if the crowd lives up to the hype, which it usually does not. The usual warnings about mingling with large unvaccinated crowds apply, though if this latest protest follows the trend it will likely consist of half a dozen people complaining to each other about the pitiful turnout.

Just remember patriots, no open carrying in Denver. And when the revolution doesn’t start, go home quietly.