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June 09, 2012 11:58 AM UTC

I Got My Primary Ballot This Week

  • 50 Comments
  • by: Tom

After I got over my disappointment at the number of offices with no candidate on my side, I realized that there really isn’t a particularly good reason to waste postage sending in a ballot for a completely uncontested election.

Does anybody have a good argument for affixing my precious waning supply of stamps to this thing?

My main worry is that I might end up being put on the inactive voter list. The upcoming general election will be fine with in-person polling places, but I don’t want to miss out on a municipal ballot. If there’s any danger of that, I’ll truck my envelope over to the clerk’s office.

Comments

50 thoughts on “I Got My Primary Ballot This Week

          1. And it’s not clear that taking the bus would have less impact than mailing it. Mailing a single letter essentially has zero impact. Taking the bus slightly increases the emissions of the bus due to the additional weight.

            1. If you’ve got to take a bus to the grocery store, and wait for the bus (time is money for a busy job-creator), and then walk to the bus unless the bus stop is as close as the best parking space, and then you forgot your Hot-Cold pack, or are really really not interested in increasing emissions by carrying a cooler with you, which would add weight to the bus (it’s just physics, people), then you get home and your ice cream has melted. This is why buses are not the answer.

              You could combine some trips and figure out whether you’ll be within a quick hike of one of numerous drop-off locations, but even that has global warming implications. You’d have to carry this ballot with you on Lord knows how many errands, thus increasing your weight, requiring more energy to get wherever you’re going, and, ultimately, increasing the world’s entropy by burning whatever fuels you use to power your selfish trips. You know what that means? Just by carrying that ballot around, you’re speeding all of humanity toward the eventual heat-death of the universe, only faster. Plus, don’t forget that the nation is deadlocked and Obama doesn’t even try.

          2. Is there some particular reason that David can’t bring his cheap ass self to put postage on his envelope like the rest of us, instead of foisting the cost of returning his ballot onto taxpayers via his county clerk’s office?

            Seriously, fucking pathetic, David. You bitch and moan about how Obama doesn’t try hard enough to stimulate the economy and you can’t even bring yourself to buy 67 cents worth of postage to do your civic duty? God, I am embarrassed for you.  

            1. And I don’t have any stamps because I never mail anything. (Also, I’m not clear on how who pays for the stamp has any impact on the economy.)

              What I find hilarious is all the sturm und drang over 67 cents.

              1. the cheap bastard that goes consistently above and beyond trying to foist 67 cents off on the government.

                Even though you’re obviously telling the truth (funny and pathetic and pathetically funny), you would have shown some prudence if you had backed off from you bizarre position by simply saying — “I’m sorry, It was just making a dumb joke.  What kind of irresponsible asshole would send in his ballots, repeatedly, without checking for the proper postage?”

                Instead you chose to double down and defend your childish and selfish behavior as some type of visionary good citizenship.  (You probably don’t see that, however . . .)

                And, anyway, tell the truth — you were dodging this ever since back when stamps were just a measely quarter, huh?

                Begs one question however, have you ever taken a family vacation trip with your pet strapped to the top of your (environmentally friendly) vehicle?  

              2. WTF????   Don’t you mean, “I never mail anything . . . except when I do”?

                You don’t see a problem with “the government” having to pay for your postage?  After having arranged for you not to be inconvenienced by actually having to travel to a polling station on some appointed day at some appointed time to cast your vote?

                You’d be much better off today had you been silently clueless, as opposed to just normally clueless.

                Voting — it’s a responsibility (just not a personal one)!

              3. You “oppose” a poll tax philosophically yet continue to keep your name on the mail-in ballot list.

                Put your money where your mouth is, David. Ask to be taken off the mail-in ballot list and go vote on election day. Stop foisting your financial responsibility off on the rest of us.

                Economics 101, since you are so “unclear” as to how someone else paying your bill impacts the economy–money spent to cover your cheap ass is money that could be spent elsewhere. Let’s say 10,000 others in Colorado think it’s cute to pull the same cheap shit you do–that is $6,700 out of the taxpayers pocket. It starts to add up when people like you are too cheap to pull your own weight. Dear God, we’re talking $.67 here, David. Do you know how pathetic you sound by trying to spin away why you won’t pay for your own postage?

                Oh, and guess what. They have stamps at the Post Office. You don’t need to have them on hand. You can actually buy them like the rest of us and mail your ballot at the exact same time. Such stunning, 21st century convenience. And they do the same at the UPS Store. I’m betting you use UPS on occasion, no?

                1. We’ve never asked for mail ballots. We’ve asked NOT to have mail ballots. We prefer voting in person, on election day, much to the dislike of phone banks of both political parties.

                  Just try to get off a mail ballot list. If successful, pass along the good word.

                2. So says my ballot, which is probably the same as Dave’s.

                  It’s surprising, at first, how cheap and petty rich people frequently are. Then you get used to it.

                  1. And you derailed his diary with some trollbait about your own pet venality, which you made no serious effort to justify. And now you’re going to complain about the responses?

                    If you want the ballots to be free to mail, you can try to change the law. Until you make 1% of an effort in that direction, you’re just being a typical selfish prick rich CEO with your little stunt. I’ll bet you don’t tip either if the waitress doesn’t smile sufficiently.

                    Ask one person who’s actually been victimized by a poll tax whether they think your actions are helpful or reasonable. To every thinking person here, your actions are a lazily-justified laziness.  

                3. First off I think making people pay to vote is wrong. It’s not the amount, it’s the principle that there should not be a poll tax of any kind.

                  Second, it reduces the vote. There are numerous people like me that don’t have stamps and have to go buy them somewhere. Voting is not the #1 priority for most people and so some of those voters won’t get to it in time.

                  Third, if the counties paid for everyone’s postage, then it is only taking money out of the pocket of those who choose to not vote. I don’t have a problem with that.

                  The first two times I sent it in without postage was an experiment (once can be an anomaly). Since then I’ve put stamps on if we’ve had them at home but put it in without stamps when we have not had them.

                  1. everyone has to buy their stamps somewhere — not just the entitled, environmentally conscious, principled libertarian, 1%er CEOs of Boulder high tech start ups (those “numerous people” just like you).

                    Third, if the counties paid for everyone’s postage, then it is only taking money out of the pocket of those who choose to not vote. I don’t have a problem with that.

                    . . . what you really don’t have any problem with is other folks footing the bill for your lazy-ass, selfish inclinations.

                  2. David, I’m raising three sons. It never fails to astonish me how resilient the y chromosome is to saying, “I confess. I did or said something stupid. Sorry!”. The difference is, my kids are learning this very necessary skill, as difficult as it may come to some members of their gender (and I confess, also to some of the female gender). It’s time you learned it, too. Admit you’re wrong, and let’s move on, okay? No doubt you need to start looking for more Russian soft-rock videos soon.

        1. … because if one out of every 50 people can serve as “neighborhood ballot collector,” and if we carefully choose as ballot collector someone who already lives near a bus stop, then we can totally minimize carbon emissions, if at great effort, for the pointless task of voting in unopposed primaries.

          Also, so as not to waste the CO2, everyone should, as I do, exhale only onto a fern to be carried at all times (though that complicates the use-only-busses plan)

    1. This is less of a ballot and more of an expensive announcement.

      “Here’s your candidates that will be sending you stuff for the general election, but don’t worry about commissioner, state rep, DA, or board of ed candidates getting in your face because they won’t be having an election this year. Cheers!”

      It seems almost like a violation of the secret ballot since at most I can leave an office blank… in protest?

      I understand that the law says that the clerks have to send these out, but I just want to know if there’s a reason to send them back in?

        1. (or one of the fancier pedal-powered shredders), the electricity you drew from the grid to shred your ballot has some serious global-warming implications. Of course, if you shredded it by hand, you’d have to eat more calories to subsidize your energy expenditure, and the cost of growing those calories, packaging them and shipping them to your local grocery store (not the one on the bus route, because ice cream is an issue) should be taken into account. You know how many acres of rainforest you’ve defoliated just because you couldn’t be bothered to figure out who to vote for in that contested primary? You might as well be a big glob of napalm, David. There’s a glacier in the Himalayas with your name on it — whoops, no there isn’t, not anymore, it melted.

          1. I always want to cockpunch those douchebags who decide to incorporate all the externalities in walking (with unjustified estimates) in a comparison with the cost of gas (ignoring the cost of producing a car, the subsidies and wars to protect oil supplies, and the pollution and global warming from driving).

            The first guy to make this comparison was apparently a local food activist. Except the only people who paid attention were rich suburbanite drivers who like ice cream. That guy needs a cockpunch.  

        2. to look something up about those two candidates.

          But I guess that would have required turning on your computer and fucking around on the internet, and we all know how much you hate that.

          1. If you hadn’t posted so much for the next two weeks, knowing that David was powerless to avoid your ranting, he might have been able to spend two minutes using teh Google (just like his daughters and their friends!) to figure out the one contested race on his ballot and get it in the mail by June 22. You should think of that next time you go online to type your words of wisdom — how many jobs are you costing when David has to read your posts instead of spending a year and a half finding an intern? How will anyone know about how hard it is to charge a Leaf if you keep up these distractions?  

        3. you had more than 2 weeks to learn something about those 2 candidates. I hope your daughters are through learning from you about the importance of voting. Even when your mom isn’t on the ballot, or your sister

        4. I got my first Adams county primary ballot the other day.  Like most other counties it seems, there was only one contested race, and I didn’t know the two candidates.  Did a quick Google search, and found that one was a current officeholder, and not under criminal indictment (an inside joke to Adams county residents).

          So I voted for that one.  I was pleased to find out today that Jared Polis and Pat Stryker are major contributors to the candidate I voted for.  Her opponent has raised more money, so there must be a backstory to all this I need to investigate.

          But to get to my main point, the envelope seemed to be fairly lightweight (much smaller than Denver’s), so I wasn’t sure if it needed more than a single forever stamp.  Just to be sure, I put two on it.

          There is now balance in the Geek Force.

        1. I suspect that what may happen if I send this in is that computer systems across the county will do the jackpot dinging noise and spit my name out when organizers pull walk and phone lists.

          Oh look! Tom has an uninterrupted voting history going back for several years and oh boy, he even voted in the primary! Put him down for the mailings, the phone calls, a few lit drops and let’s send somebody out around dinner time for a little talk.

          Multiplied times however many campaigns manage to pull together a local staff… at least three so far.

          Nah. If I’m not in danger of landing on the inactive list, I’ll take a pass and let whichever office be pleasantly surprised when I drop by for my usual volunteer stint.

          1. Depend much more on whether you donated or volunteered in 2008. I think, as droll said, that this vote matters only for PR for the candidates. Voting won’t help, but not voting might hurt. A tiny bit.

    2. Why should somebody else pay for you to vote?

      What a cheap, silly bastard you are.  You buy toy helicopters for your employees, but you want your next-door neighbor to pay for your right to vote.

      You need a couple of stamps?  Just ask, I’ll send them to you.

      1. I’m sure he shops somewhere else – they have pretentious solar powered organic food stores in his neighborhood, right?  But the y sell stamps too.  Add two 1st class stamps, drop it in the box, and STFU.  Or smell the glove all the way to 11.

        1. if you get your hands on some forever stamps, they’re actually kind of a good investment… in postage. I bought a roll several years ago and they’re now worth something like 10% more than what I paid for them.

          1. on paper.  The day the Republicans force the post office into declaring bankruptcy you investment will be worth bumpkiss.  My suggestion — find some way to use ’em (quickly) or lose ’em (. . .  maybe you could start sending David daily letters? . . .).  

      2. buy those helicopters, the corporation did — it’s a write-off.  Now, maybe foisting his postage on the corporation . . . wait . . . that is despicable.

    3. .

      Also, it might be even easier if you don’t bother to sign the affirmation on the envelope.

      Heck, come November, since we all know who is going to win, why bother even opening it ?  

      1. the price of ink these days . . .

        and, anyway who actually has an old fashioned ball point pen at home anymore, I have a laser-jet printer . . .

        and, making people buy pens just to sign their ballot — smells a lot like a poll tax . . .

        and, besides the environmental damage that is done by the millions of barrels of ink and ink byproducts that wash into our waterways each year . . .

        No thanks, Barron.

  1. a bunch of terrible judges and uncontested primaries. I didn’t bother going down for early voting, or on that special Tuesday.

    Obama came within ten points of losing our open primary. Everyone made a huge thing of it. Clearly the entire Democrat party hates Obama! Yeah, less than 15% of all our voters came out at all. In hindsight, it was embarrassing.

    So pop the stamp on there and counteract someone who thinks a random somebody is better than a guy who isn’t perfectly ultra-liberal 100% of the time. It will help Colorado look less… crazy. And you guys gotta start the long journey back from Santorum caucuses.

    1. is Congress. That’s actually a bit weird since I do have the option to vote for the uncontested CD4 primary. Dunno why they didn’t include a presidential line in order for me to make the choice of whether to fill in the circle next to Obama or leave it blank.

      Specifically, out of the 6 offices listed there are two actual candidate names. I can fill in the circle next to Brandon Shaffer for CD4 and next to Stephen C. Ludwig for CU Regent.  

      1. .

        only has one name listed, Steve Ludwig.  

        Democrats only have 6 candidates county-wide.  

        Constitution Party: 14 or 15 candidates, but no contested primaries.  

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