March 18, 2011 01:14 AM UTC

Greatest. Bio. Ever.

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• by: Colorado Pols

Denver City Council candidate Michele Fry was in the news today for plagiarizing answers on a candidate questionnaire. This news led us to Fry’s campaign website, which offers up perhaps the greatest candidate bio we’ve ever read.

Here’s just a sample of Fry’s online bio, but you’ve really got to read the whole thing to appreciate the incredible randomness and level of detail:

Michele Fry is a Native of the City and County of Denver, and a 4th generation resident of District 5. Michele was born at St. Joseph’s Hospital Denver, Colorado on February 20, 1972; she is 39 years of age.

Michele’s father passed away when she was an infant and she was raised by a single mother. Michele’s mother has been a self-employed business woman, for 14 years, and too is a native of City Council District 5. Michele has two younger brothers, Matthew and Patrick. Matthew is married and has 3 little girls. Patrick played Junior Hockey for 3 years in Pennsylvania; he is currently a student at CU Boulder studying French, Arabic and International Relations.

Michele resides at 11th and Eudora Denver, CO. The home of her grandmother, originally purchased by her grandparents in 1944; Michele purchased the home in 2003. Michele lives with her rescued Great Danes.

Michele’s Great Uncle was former Legislator and Secretary of State for the State for Colorado, George J. Baker. Michele’s Great Aunt and Uncle (Secretary of State Geo. Baker) were longtime residents of City Council District 5; her Great Aunt lived at 1445 Monaco Parkway, the home she and her Great Uncle George purchased in the 1930s, until her death in 1994.

Michele ate eggs for breakfast. Eggs come from chickens. There are not a lot of chickens in District 5. In 1987 Michele saw a chicken at the home of Ed Smith on 135 Elm Street. One time Ed Smith met former Governor Roy Romer and told Michele about it. Roy Romer once considered running for President. Barack Obama is now the President. On August 14, 2008, at 3:07 pm, Michele went to a rally in District 5 for Barack Obama…