November 24, 2020 03:37 PM UTC

Deep Thoughts By Lauren Boebert--Algorithms!

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• by: Colorado Pols

Rep.-elect Lauren Boebert, as usual, has got it all figured out:

If you count the same votes over and over you’ll get the same results.

We need to do signature verifications and uncover what went on with the algorithms.

— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) November 24, 2020

Boebert is of course right about counting the same ballots over and over yielding the same results. That’s why it’s tough to understand why the Trump campaign keeps asking for exactly that to be done in Georgia. And as everyone who has been following this process since Election Day knows, the signatures are verified and then separated from the ballots so that they are, you know, secret ballots. Asking for something everyone knows you can’t have is a pretty good indicator of bad faith, but we suppose in Boebert’s case it’s possible she really doesn’t know how any of this works.

We’re gong to go out on a limb and suggest that Rep.-elect Boebert also doesn’t know what an “algorithm” is, other than a word she heard crackpot attorney Sidney Powell say on TV before Powell got axed by the Trump campaign Sunday–or maybe something Boebert saw on 4/8chan while she was not researching “QAnon?” Boebert’s expertise in this subject is just enough to know an “algorithm” is something mysterious that takes place inside a box called a “computer” and flips votes from Donald Trump to Joe Biden. Computers themselves are mysterious much like algorithms, since neither shooting them nor even the extreme step of heating them to the proper temperature to kill germs makes them behave. So be afraid.

Here’s how the next two years will work: Q or Sidney Powell or their future outer-orbit crackpot equivalent will say it, and then Lauren Boebert will Tweet the closest version she can manage to her 250,000 adoring fans (not a misprint). Our advice would be to stick to subjects covered in the GED exam, though, or she’ll be out of her depth faster than you can say Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi.

That’s not going to happen, so we expect to bring you “Deep Thoughts With Lauren Boebert” on an all-too-regular basis.