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July 08, 2020 12:58 pm MST

World, Meet Lauren Boebert--But Don't Eat The Sliders

  • by: Colorado Pols

CD-3 GOP nominee Lauren Boebert.

Lauren Boebert, the novice political candidate out of Rifle who pole-vaulted to the national spotlight after dispatching 5-term incumbent GOP Rep. Scott Tipton in the Colorado CD-3 Republican primary, is now getting the kind of scrutiny that congressional major-party nominees should always get.

And as the Daily Beast’s lede makes painfully clear today, it’s not going well:

In 2017, a Colorado restaurant’s tainted pork sliders poisoned dozens of attendees at a local rodeo, who came down with symptoms ranging from nausea to bloody diarrhea. Now the restaurant’s proprietor is running for Congress on her small-business-owner credentials…

The county health office began investigating, and quickly discovered that the event had been catered by “an unlicensed temporary retail food establishment associated with Shooters Grill.” The meat served there “was smoked at Smokehouse 1776, a retail food establishment located in downtown Rifle, Colorado across the street from Shooters Grill and owned by the same person.”

The main culprit was found to be the pork sliders, and those who ate them reported symptoms including bloody diarrhea, abdominal pain, nausea, and chills. Health authorities determined that the tainted pork was caused by “improper food safety practices of the unlicensed food providers.”

We took passing note back in May during Boebert’s battle to prematurely reopen the “COVID Cafe” of the reports back in 2017 that Boebert’s restaurant had sickened dozens of customers at a local rodeo where they were providing unlicensed food service. The prevalent local rumor was that some 80 people were afflicted with “Boebert’s Revenge,” also known as Clostridium perfringens, which causes a generally brief but exceedingly unpleasant condition readers know by such colloquial names as the “backdoor trots” or “Hershey squirts.”

Boebert herself denies the number of infected patrons was anywhere near that many, but we tend to think if you’re a restauranteur explaining exactly how many customers actually tested positive for Clostridium or not, you’re losing.

It’s just the tip of the iceberg, we’re told, for an unprepared candidate dreadfully out of her depth–but now that she’s the nominee in a district full of Republican voters no one can ignore, she’s sharing the stage with the biggest names in Colorado Republican politics. As was the scene yesterday in Fruita when Sen. Cory Gardner came calling for an obligatory photo-op with Colorado’s newest GOP luminary:

The time has come, for good or ill, for Republicans to pose like a team!

But everybody is responsible for their own meals.


44 thoughts on “World, Meet Lauren Boebert–But Don’t Eat The Sliders

  1. Lauren Boebert is doing her alma matter proud. This congressional run is certainly going to raise the profile of Deep State University.

    1. She has no college degree. Lauren’s “alma mater” was

      Rifle High School class of 2004

      She married right out of high school, and has four sons now.

      There were and are Federal programs that would help someone like Lauren Opal Boebert nee Roberts to attend college, but she would disdain government help. She counsels women in jail to “make it on their own”.

      I wonder if Diane Mitsch Bush will use Boebert’s no-college status in ads against her. I would. There’s a reason why we want educated critical thinkers in positions of great public responsibility.

      1. Bush would be a fool to attack Yosemite Samantha for not having a college degree. About two-thirds of Americans don’t such such a degree.

        1. True enough, but I’d venture all members of Congress have degrees of some sort.

          Congressional Research Service says that 95% have a Bachelor’s degree or higher, while 5% have at least an Associates degree.

          If elected, ( Shudder) Boebert would be the only Member with no degree.

          1. True, but you suggested Bush should attack Boebert for not having a degree.

             "Hey voters, don't elect some degree-less loser like yourself– vote for someone superior, like me!"

             Uhhh, dumb.  

            Smart pols play down their credentials.


            1. Very true….

              Remember, the Democratic presidential nominees in 2000 and 2016 were basically the smartest kids in the class running against the class clowns.

              Voters don't like the smartest kid in the class.

                1. Diane Mitsch Bush is not only the smartest kid in the (CD3) class, but she also has people smarts. I'm sure she knows how to ask Lauren Roberts Boebert pointed questions in the nicest way possible.

                  "So, Ms. Boebert, where does your expertise about disease prevention come from? Was that a special field of study for you?"

                  Or just use big words like "asymptomatic transmission", "disease vectors" and "clostridium perfringens" in context. Discuss legislation and policy like an adult.

                   Boebert, on the other hand, is pretty much all caps MAGA all the time, judging by her website. Perhaps Carno will upgrade it somewhat, but their idea is that they will cater to the lowest common denominator of voters, ie. their and Trump's "base".

                  Bush will know how to get her point across without necessarily calling Boebert an uneducated ignoramus.


                  1. Or, you might just admit you screwed up by turning over that elitist hole card that costs the left so dearly among working class voters.

                    You go “perfringing” all night long, college girl.

                    Diane will win this thing talking about health care, jobs, student debt, the wrecked encomy, and other things that matter.

                    “Perfringen matters!”

                    Now, that’s a slogan to stir men’s souls!

                    You actually said “perfringen.”

                    Tee hee.

                    ” Perfringen!!!!! ”

                    Tee hee, ho ho, ha ha, hardee har har!

                    “Vote for me and I’ ll perfringen you uneducated fools!”

                    Mom, the flightless bird said “perfringen!”

                    Tee hee, har har ….

                    We could go on all night with that one…

                  2. If you’ve ever heard Martha McSally give an interview (. . . and until I did, I had no idea that it might not take any more intelligence to fly a military jet than it takes to serve up some tainted pork sliders . . .) you know exactly where this is headed . . . 

                    1. I knew where it was headed as soon as V hit the “reply” button….away from simple disagreement, and into personal insults. SSDD.

                      But I never have heard McSally interview, so what do you mean?

                    2. That's not really fair.

                      She could be good at other things that PBS and NPR and the rest of us don't care about.

                1. I’d guess that every one of the Rifle-area residents who ingested Boebert’s contaminated pork sliders at the fair knows exactly what clostridium perfringens is, how to pronounce it and spell it.

                  Something about spending hours on the shitter would tend to  fix it in one’s mind. Someone on here noted that Boebert is not popular in her own district.

                  But Diane Mitsch Bush probably will refer to the incident as just “contaminated meat” or “food poisoning” in campaign ads, and if the two women debate.

                  Boebert did lie publicly about how many people got sick, and  that the family business was responsible. It would be campaign malpractice not to bring it up, because it’s relevant. It shows a reckless attitude towards public health, and a lack of personal integrity and honesty. 

                   Diane Mitsch Bush properly will, as V said, mostly stick to issues of daily concern to voters: health, the economy, etc. But she also should attack Boebert on the food poisoning incident and lack of concern for public safety and health in current restaurant policies- even if she doesn’t namecheck the bacteria strain. 

                  Mitch Bush can show that Lauren is uneducated by debating her on these issues.. This is relevant, as well. Lauren, who admittedly has had some tough breaks in life, shows no evidence of respect for scientific fact.We’ve survived four years under an illiterate, self-absorbed, but charismatic President- Boebert is his soul sister, and Mitsch Bush needs to show that in stark relief.

                  1. The best time for Bush to bring it up would be when Yosemite Samantha starts throwing the 'red meat'.

                    Oh noes!!!! Not again!!!! Nobody touch it!!!!

                    1. The pork industry once advertised itself as “the other white meat.”

                      But your point is well taken.

                      How about the “Boebert trots?”

                    2. I like:

                      Before Boebert ran for Congress her customers ran for the shitter.

              1. 159 JDs in the House.  much to my surprise, only 38 MBAs.  21 PhDs (or equivalent). 27 medical professionals, though some are labeled "nurse" without reference to degree earned. 83 educators — again, without reference to degree earned.

                1. Wow, JiD. I didn't spend enough time on it to break it down like that, but it makes Bobert look even worse. What's her campaign slogan going to be, "Vote for me, I'm a high school graduate."? She's a hard-line Republican, so she can't even say she's a good choice for teen moms, who often need social assistance to take care of their kids.

                  1. I think her slogan will be “Vote for me, I look cute holding a big gun,” and also, “Freedom means never having to wear a mask.”

                    She would say that she’s a good role model for teen moms. She advises women in jails to not rely on government assistance, and to “make it on their own”.

                    She herself basically married into success – as a high school grad with a young baby, whose only work experience was at McDonald’s, she would probably not have had access to loans and credit for the family’s restaurants without her husband’s assets. No doubt, she has helped build the business by hard work – but she didn’t “do it on her own.”

                    So is her advice to young women going to be “Find a rich husband”?

                    Sounds way too familiar.

    2. I’m interested in the “air math” on the “Shooters to the Swamp” Express. Are there direct flights from GJ to DCA now that ConMan got those hundreds eight jobs relocated to the gas patch?

  2. Has anyone seen a "just the facts" bio of Ms. Boebert? 

    Seems like it could be useful to learn about academics, previous jobs, and scores at the shooting range. Whether she supports local brewers or mega-commercial brewers at her restaurant and in her personal consumption.  If she owns her own motorcycle or rides behind hubby on a joint property motorcycle.  If she is a skier, boarder, snowshoer, ski-doo driver, or stays inside during winters.  Fly fisher or boat fisher.  When she last brought in her own deer. What sort of pets are in the household. Who are all the registered voters at her address.  

    All the important things.

    1. If you read my posts the last day or so, you’ll see a synthesis of the plethora of mainstream bios of Ms. Roberts/ Boebert. Some “facts” , like her birthdate and even year, are contradictory.

      To date, haven’t seen anything regarding her fishing and hunting preferences. Or were you just being snarky?

      1. Don't snicker about hunting and fishing in the 3rd. It matters over here. I watched John Salazar sight in his hunting rifle during one of his successful campaigns at a Palisade supporter's property. First shot, bullseye. Second shot, the same. The next week he got his elk during a family hunting trip in the San Luis Valley.

        He did well in Mesa County, far better than most Democrats do.

        1. I’d imagine both women (Diane M Bush and Lauren O Boebert) can handle firearms, fishing, and basic ranch tasks. Boebert was a small town kid in Florida, than an urban teen in Aurora, then a young wife in Rifle. She definitely shoots, and has pics of herself in action at the range.

          Diane M Bush has worked with farmers and ranchers for years in her professional roles;

          Mitsch Bush was awarded Legislator of the Year 2015 by the Rocky Mountain Farmers Union and the conservative Colorado Livestock Association for her work on ranching and farming.[11][12]

          It wouldn’t hurt Bush to demonstrate that she’s not actually anti-gun, per se, and not out to seize guns from law-abiding folks, as Boebert will undoubtedly claim. But I don’t know if she shoots.

          1. nuh-uh

            She should come right out and say guns are fine, lets talk about expensive prescription drugs, and access to healthcare. Let's talkabout national security and a rational system of immigration. And continue pivoting right into CD3 all day and all of the night.

            Then she can go to a range with some friends or the county supe of choice and blow some stuff up. B roll pictures are all she needs.

            1. A subtle appeal … go for stricter FDA standards for food and a more robust public health infrastructure, covering both humans AND animals.  Oppose isolation of humans AND horses because there are infections which haven't been adequately tested for or traced …

              1. The FDA is too busy spending all its resources looking for some plausible use for the 60 million doses of hydroxychloroquine which the federal government has in stock.

                Brazil will only buy so much…..

  3. C'mon
    this is ridiculous

    If there was less testing, less licensing, and less government interference, there would be no report of anything.
    see less- testing =  fewer cases.

    So some people got sick, allegedly  from the tainted food.
    But the free market solution was available – if they didn't wwant to get sick from the mishandled food, they could have gotten food from some other source. No need to go all Marxist.



        1. You missed my point. Free market isn't involved at all because the afflicted persons did not know in advance that the food they bought was tainted. 

          1. I didn’t miss the point

            I get that the classical definition of ‘free market’ assumes all information necessary for an informed decision is available and reflecteed in the price.

            But we have learned that information asymmetry is difficult or even impossible to eliminate.

            What? There is lead in the water? I would like to not pay for water with lead.

            What ? emissions from some industries increase asthma? I’d like that industry to pay the cost of eliminating the emissions


            Externalities often suck – but they are clearly a part of a the American style ‘free’ market

  4. I wonder if she intends to campaign, wherever possible, with her sidearm. If so, what will happen if protestors show up to her campaign events (legally) packing heat? Sure, everyone is there to exercise their first amendment rights to speech and assembly, but I guess you also need to be prepared for a firefight. 

    1. Good question. Probably winds up being a local jurisdiction thing. It is legal statewide.

      I am curious if they check your political affiliation at the door and disarm all the Dimmycrats.

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