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September 13, 2010 08:40 PM UTC

Fun With Press Releases: The Release of the Year!

  • 6 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

We get a lot of press releases, as you might expect, and we like to share them with you when we get some that are particularly entertaining (and usually not on purpose). We have a new leader for our favorite press release of the year, and it’s going to be hard to top this one:

John Gonce, a Realtor in Southwest Denver beginning in 1962 till 2007, each election cycle has put out a letter of endorsements of all of the candidates and issues to the residences in his area…

…John Gonce said, “I will vote for every Republican on the ballot, except Attorney General John Suthers. Suthers is way too big a proponent for big government. Dan Maes will make a great governor.”

Who is John Gonce, you ask? We have absolutely no idea, but he’s announcing his endorsements for the 2010 election, and according to his press release, he’s apparently been doing it for decades. And he really doesn’t like Attorney General John Suthers, for some reason.

The full glorious press release is after the jump.  

News release 09-9-10

Contact: John Gonce 303-935-1111

GONCE ENDORSES MAES AND NOT JOHN SUTHERS

John Gonce, a Realtor in Southwest Denver beginning in 1962 till 2007, each election cycle has put out a letter of endorsements of all of the candidates and issues to the residences in his area.

“I have for forty-eight years felt it was my civic duty to inform the citizens of my district on all candidates and issue that will impact their lives in the coming years in what I called Gonce Times,” Gonce said in a news release Thursday, September 9, 2010. “When I could not endorse a candidate I ran for that office on eight occasions. Each time I was “sliced and diced” as Vince Carroll of The Denver Post put it in describing Dan Maes attempt for governor this November and in 1982 I was sued. In 1998 and 2000 complaints were filed on me with the Secretary of State. All were resolved with no sanctions or penalties,” John Gonce a Republican said.

“Today it is different. We have a Secretary of State that is a staunch Democrat that sticks it to every Republican when he has a chance. Bernie Buescher badly needs to be booted out of that traditionally neutral non-political political office. He should never have certified Tom Tancredo’s candidacy for office. Buescher knew he did not meet the standard of law to be on the November ballot,” Gonce said.

John Gonce said, “I will vote for every Republican on the ballot, except Attorney General John Suthers. Suthers is way too big a proponent for big government. Dan Maes will make a great governor.”

Comments

6 thoughts on “Fun With Press Releases: The Release of the Year!

  1. John Gonce has been a candidate in several races through the years.  I believe he ran against Diana Degette at one point. I know he ran against Fran Coleman for the HD1 seat.  

  2. He’s been around forever.  Huge ego.  Pain in the ass.  A lot like Hal Shroyer, but not nearly as smart.  Gadfly comes to mind, but not in the nice sort of tolerated way that Hal Shroyer was.  God, he must be 85 by now.

  3. With the logic displayed in that press release, I’m astounded that John Gonce hasn’t already been elected and re-elected President of the United States.

  4. John Gonce ran against Pat Schroeder on the Republican ticket in the early 1980s, or thereabouts.  Pre-Internet, so Google is not of much help.

    His slogan was “Going, Going, Gonce”  He did, in the losing direction.

    Dan

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