October 30, 2018 02:49 PM UTC

The Real Walker Stapleton Stands Back Up

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• by: Colorado Pols

Republican gubernatorial nominee Walker Stapleton penned an opinion piece for Fox News this week about his great big battle against “socialism” in Colorado. The entire column consists of 558 words of Trumpian talking points, but it does illustrate something of moderate interest…

This is the real Walker Stapleton.

It is difficult to find someone in Colorado who truly believes that Stapleton might defeat Democrat Jared Polis next Tuesday, so perhaps Stapleton now feels comfortable enough to return to his truest shade of red.

This is the Walker Stapleton who used to appear on Fox News to complain about legislative efforts to limit obscene bonuses for corporate executives. This is the Walker Stapleton who said these words on national television:

“The most alarming thing to me [is that] President Obama is now trying to take away tax loopholes for corporations.”

Walker Stapleton, fighting to protect corporate tax loopholes!

Like most things Stapleton, our favorite part about his Fox News opinion piece is the end:

While we are working tirelessly to defeat socialism in Colorado, it ultimately will be up to voters. It is my hope and prayer that voters across the country choose to let freedom ring and that Coloradans’ voices are heard from coast to coast.

You can imagine this closing paragraph going through several iterations:

While we are occasionally working to defeat socialism…

If it is after 3:00 in the afternoon, we are working to defeat socialism…

If it is not raining or snowing, we are working to defeat socialism…

Unless we fell asleep, we are working to defeat socialism…

Honestly, we could do this all day. We’ll let our readers take it from here.