July 31, 2018 10:33 AM UTC

Club 20 has the Sads.

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• by: ClubTwitty

Hey, ClubTwitty here.

“They” took me out of the sock drawer to bring you today’s SNOWFLAKE UPDATE courtesy of that fossil-fueled extractive-industry booster group Club 20 not feeling the love from Jared Polis (who, you will be reminded of approximately 500 times between now and November, is from the reviled-Boulder-that-we-are-not).

This afternoon Club 20 has learned that Gubernatorial Candidate Jared Polis has declined to participate in the Club 20 Candidate Debates, a longstanding and well-respected tradition allowing the people of Western Colorado to hear from candidates.

Oh the heartbreak! Quick STOP the PRESSES!

.@PolisForCO has opted not to attend the @club20westslope debate in Sept, sending @LtGovofCO instead. That’s a “slap in the face” to #WesternColorado, says ED Christian Reece, adding that no invited guv candidate has not attended in recent memory. #copolitics

— Charles Ashby (@OldNewsman) July 31, 2018

How dare Jared Polis decline this kind offer to come and demonstrate to the Club 20 regulars why they know they are already voting against him.

…Club 20 hopes that Candidate Polis will reconsider his position on this debate…

Oh Jared, won’t you repent? Please come and beguile us with promises of pipelines and strip mines!? Play to the crowd? Poo-poo climate change, talk about the great promise of “oil shale: the fuel of the future”? Maybe scare us with stories of wolves (literally!) at the door? Don’t forget to decry wilderness, scare-monger about roadless protections, and disparage God’s various critters–iconic western birds for instance–that hamper the magic of get-rich schemes and boomtime dreams?

Club 20 strives to reflect the diversity of views and perspectives found in western Colorado: coal, oil AND gas, for instance. Club 20 cares about brown cows and white cows, and black and white sheep too. When it comes to taking care of the hard-working West Slope citizen, Club 20 makes sure that even the most powerful corporations get a seat at the table!

“It is a shame that Candidate Polis is unwilling to participate in a non-partisan forum where our voices can be heard,” said Christian Reece, Executive Director of Club 20. “No gubernatorial candidate has skipped this debate in recent memory and it is a slap in the face to all of Western Colorado” she continued.

So, yeah sure. “All of Western Colorado,” most of whom are not not represented well at all by Club 20, are just feeling beat down since Jared won’t bother going to a debate that we won’t be watching either.

But even if its not quite a “slap in the face” perhaps it can at least a be “kick in the pants” for the lackluster “please clap” brigade, a prompt to help prop up a flagging campaign?

…Gubernatorial Candidate Walker Stapleton committed to participate in the Club 20 Candidate Debates last week.

We’re pretty confident that Walker will hit all the crowd-pleasing favorites. Talk all the talk that goes over big with the dinosaurs, Birchers, and industry-funded that will be convening at Two Rivers.  Stapleton’s @Twitter tools over at the #COpolitics feed wasted no time in pushing out Club 20’s pitiful-we press release. Of course the appearance of, doesn’t mean the presence of, coordination. Because as everyone *knows* Club 20 is “nonpartisan.”

(Oh, and in other news, the Stapleton and Polis campaigns agreed to a whole bunch of debates all across Colorado, including on the Western Slope).