May 21, 2026 11:07 AM UTC

Going Great in the GOP Gubernatorial Race!

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• by: Colorado Pols

The battle for the Republican nomination for Governor in Colorado is a fantastic mess. It’s hard to keep up with the sheer amount of nonsense taking place every week as we approach the June Primary Election.

This is a real sentence: Cajun Karate Master Victor Marx still seems like he is running away with the GOP nomination.

Marx has raised significantly more money than fellow candidates Barb Kirkmeyer and Scott “Rock” Bottoms combined. Polling data released by an IEC backing Marx shows that he has a substantial lead over his flailing opponents. Marx isn’t bothering to show up to any debates because a) He has nothing to gain from a debate considering the weakness of Kirkmeyer and Bottoms’ candidacies, and b) He doesn’t really know anything about government or public policy anyway.

That doesn’t mean Marx is staying silent. While Kirkmeyer and Bottoms argue about completely made-up stories, such as Bottoms’ claim that there are three different “pedophile rings” operating at the State Capitol, Marx has been making the rounds on the right-wing radio and podcast circuit, where he argues with hosts about his martial arts background and whether he once beheaded a cat.

You’d be forgiven for thinking we made up that last part. Alas, we are not that clever. Here’s Marx talking with podcaster Candace Owens earlier this week:

OWENS: Do you stand by this story that you beheaded a cat at the age of three?

MARX: Of course I do.

Righto!

For the sake of, um, clarity, this is not the first time Marx has talked about beheading a cat as a child.

Marx has generally been perplexing right-wing broadcasters recently by his refusal to answer even the most benign questions — like the name of the town where he grew up. Marx has long told a bizarre story about an abusive stepfather who allegedly forced Marx to murder a man when he was only seven years old; Owens also brought up that topic but had trouble getting a real response.

OWENS: If I’m getting the name of the town wrong, do you want to just tell us instead of doing a dunking on [sic]? Where in Mississippi did you grow up?

MARX: Ma’am, you’re accusing me…that I’m not telling the truth on things…

OWENS: No, I’m just saying that you said that you murdered a man, so if you can just tell us what town that was in, that would be helpful.

MARX: It’s in interviews that I’ve done. It’s in our documentary. And I’m telling you, if you can’t at least get the town that I’m in, how can we trust you with more information…

If you don’t already know the name of the town where I grew up, I’m not going to tell you!

Kirkmeyer, meanwhile, has also been speaking to anyone who pretends to have an audience because her campaign barely has enough money to send out a few mailers. Here she is on the “Jeff and Bill Show” trying to get Republicans excited about November…

KIRKMEYER: We have a shot this year. I think we truly do.

HUNT: That’s why you’re running…

KIRKMEYER: We talked about it a little bit offline, and I agree with you: I don’t think it’s like we’ve got an 80 percent shot of winning this thing, or even a 50 percent shot. But I think we have a shot.

Kirkmeyer is more bullish about Republican chances than 2022 gubernatorial loser Heidi Ganahl, who said in April that it would be a “small miracle” if Republicans won a statewide race in 2026. Given that Ganahl is the worst major candidate in Colorado history, we’re going to go with her expertise on this one.