May 27, 2020 10:25 AM UTC

Maskless GOP Demands Right To Infect Captive Audience

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• by: Colorado Pols

UPDATE: Rep. Richard Holtorf gets right down to the heart of the matter: Irish people drink!

REP. HOLTORF: Okay, we know the Irish legacy. What if I’m not even sober? How would you know? What if I’m not of a sound state in mind?

We’re not sure what to say here, except we apologize to people of Irish heritage, and also flasks have been around for the entirety of the history of the Colorado legislature and long before. As for speculating about Rep. Holtorf’s “state of mind”…we’re pretty sure we can do that no matter where he is physically located.

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UPDATE: As usual, GOP Sen. Vicki Marble steals the showcase of stupid:

SEN. MARBLE: And you know what? I go to Walmart. And you know what? I don’t wipe down that cart every time I take it out. I put my hands on, shove it through and I’m going shoulder with people in the aisles [Pols emphasis] even though Walmart has taken precautions to say you go this way down that aisle and that way down that aisle.

People…people just aren’t ready to accept that.

Got that? Not only do you show up in a pandemic when you don’t have to, by God, grip that dirty shopping cart and like it! That, in case you were not aware, is what real Americans do. And as the Broomfield Cub Scouts can tell you, no one knows real Americanism when she sees it better than Vicki Marble.

If you’ve been shopping in the last couple of months, you’ve probably met someone like Sen. Marble.

And you did your best to steer clear of them.

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Right now GOP members are arguing AGAINST changing the rules to allow any member for #remotepParticipation to vote for their constituents. 12 states and the US Congress are doing this and we’re not over with the #pandemic. It a tool we need to have. #copolitics pic.twitter.com/uMlzlTNXFb

— Rep Brianna Titone – COHD27 (@BriannaForCO) May 27, 2020

This morning, Republicans in the Colorado House and Senate are mounting a rhetorical grandstand against proposed new rules to allow lawmakers to work remotely–during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic or a similar declared public health emergency. Former GOP Sen. Greg Brophy weighed in snarkily via Twitter earlier this morning, and earned himself a swift clap back from Marianne Goodland of the Colorado Springs Gazette:

That’s flippant and cruel and you’re better than that. Jovan Melton is recovering from heart failure caused by COVID-19; virtually everyone else who isn’t here is out for health reasons or because they’re high risk.

— Marianne Goodland (@MGoodland) May 27, 2020

There’s particular irony in Republicans demanding the General Assembly only do its business in person at the Capitol, since they are as we understand it the only people in the building disregarding the should-be-mandatory “recommendation” they wear face masks. Republicans are not just flouting the recommendations of public health experts, they’re arguing today that lawmakers who disagree should be forced into the same airspace with them.

There’s something that feels…malicious about that.