(GULP!)
As you may have heard, Colorado Sen. Cory Gardner (R-Yuma) doesn’t want to talk about the impeachment of President Trump.
For more than six months now, Gardner has gone to ridiculous lengths to avoid reporter questions on the subject, fleeing from questions on foot, moving walkways, or via his favorite escape method: Capitol Hill elevators. On the rare occasion that he finds himself cornered by a reporter, Gardner vomits out nonsense answers like, “We have a trial” before he scurries away.
We’ve taken note on numerous occasions of Gardner’s proclivity for diving into little-used elevators instead of answering pretty standard questions from local and national journalists alike. Gardner’s most recent elevator escape led to this fantastic GIF on Monday that perfectly encapsulates the last few months for Colorado’s junior Senator.
It would appear, however, that Gardner has finally come to understand just how bad this all looks for him.
Gardner stops and answers question about witnesses, says Senate still in middle of trial. Says last time he answered question someone filmed him getting in elevator and door closing so wants to avoid that this time so people can’t make fun of him
— Burgess Everett (@burgessev) January 28, 2020
Politico’s Burgess Everett elaborates on this Tweet in an “impeachment update” report today:
10:25 A.M.
Cory Gardner avoids elevator momentSen. Cory Gardner, who is up for reelection this fall in Colorado, made sure to avoid any ridicule on social media on Tuesday morning.
Asked a question on witnesses, the GOP senator noted the last time he answered he was mocked for allowing the Senate elevator doors to close before he gave a complete answer.
“Last time I got in elevator, one of you guys filmed me and really made fun of. So I’m going to stand here and answer that question. And just ask that you don’t film me!” Gardner said with a laugh. [POLS EMPHASIS]
As to whether he will vote to hear from new witnesses, Gardner was noncommittal: “We’re in the middle of the trial. I’ll continue to listen to the arguments put forward.”
This sounds a lot like a guy who realizes that he has really screwed up here. Gardner wanted to get through the Trump impeachment trial without becoming part of the story, but his painfully obvious attempts at ducking the subject have had the exact opposite effect.
Via The New York Times (1/28/20)
Gardner’s revelation today comes on the same day that David Leonhardt of The New York Times singled out Colorado’s Junior Senator for his invisibility:
Gardner has not expressed skepticism about the obvious lies Trump’s lawyers are telling. Gardner doesn’t seem concerned about Trump perverting foreign policy for his own personal interests. And Gardner has shown no interest in hearing all the relevant evidence by calling witnesses to testify…
…Gardner is making a bet. Even though many of his constituents — most, perhaps — believe that Trump has violated his oath of office, Gardner has evidently decided that he can safely ignore them.
In November, Colorado’s voters will get a chance to prove him wrong.
We’ve said for a long time that inaccessibility is the Gardner brand. The Yuma Republican appears to now understand that he made a huge marketing mistake.
He's trying to turn his invisibility into a fucking sympathy ploy. It's ridiculous.
November, come quickly.
Operative word: Trying. "Please don't make fun of me" doesn't inspire sympathy.
"Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have done the elevator thing…"
I get the closing doors as metaphor for life choices… they even made a movie about it.
But here;s the thing.
he could hadda lots of takeways from the elevator door mocking
– elevator doors close – don't hide in elevators and blame the doors
– take the stairs
– don't avoid the press questions by running
– I should admit I've been avoiding my constituents and promise to get better at it
– Senators who avoid constituents are unfit for office
– The Saints got robbed two years in a row.
– Has this administration done anything good enough to justify shifting focus to it?
– Should I go boutique on K or is bigger really better?
– I wonder if I could get a university President gig ?
– There are only two escalators in Wyoming
– Maybe I could get hired by McConnell's family highway company.
Well, Cory, unfortunately there are many, many, many things for which you can be made fun of. See, that's what you get for being a lying laughingstock. But I have the number of a one-term-senator support group that I can get you come November.
The graveyard of Colorado political history is full of Democrats who underestimated Cory Gardner.
Don't get scared libtards, that's not a threat.
Since you’re putting new names into your old, recycled Smaller Coffman canards, how about this oldie but goodie, too, Flufftard . . .
“Stay the course, Senator Gardner. Some day the voters will [send you to my Grammy’s basement]!”
. . . ????
Remember Governor Gessler in '14. And Senator Keyser in '16. And President Rubio. Or President Cruz.
Moddy has one hell of a track record.
Fluffy’s grammy apparently never told him, “Fluffy, now listen up here you mistake, about the only thing you can do to make your being a complete fucking ignoramus worse, is to keep on being an unoriginal, tedious one.”
Moderatus, is that a prediction? It looks like a prediction! If so, Gardner might as well avoid fruitless expenditures of time, money and effort by announcing he won't run for reelection. He can always say he wants to spend more time with his family or some such shit.