July 24, 2012 09:31 PM UTC

Deep Thoughts With "Skip" Carlson

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• by: Colorado Pols

One of the more colorful figures running for the Colorado House this year Republican Art “Skip” Carlson of Weld County running in HD-50–not to be confused with “Big Art” Carlson, formerly a candidate for SD-28 who lost to John Lyons and previously discussed by our friend Jason Salzman.

“Skip” Carlson earns a mention today for this so-bad-it’s-good campaign video:

Reciting a poem of his own authorship called “Ordinary People,” Carlson sounds like, and we really think we’ve nailed this, a perfect cross between Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey and Hank Hill from King of The Hill. It’s so awesomely campy and hilarious that you’re upset when the godawful off-key backing band breaks into the refrain of “God Bless America,” drowning out Carlson’s poem in a glorious amateur mess. Some of the photos still have watermarks from the stock image company they were lifted from, a sure sign you’re dealing with a pro.

But if you manage to get to the end of Carlson’s poem, you’re greeted by the biggest surprise of all. This video was not produced by Carlson’s grandson who actually only knows how to make mix tapes–it was paid for! A Maryland company called Ross Communications of Annapolis, who advertises that they can tell your story every bit as well as they just told “Skip” Carlson’s.

In addition to not winning votes, we’re afraid this video won’t sell more videos.