Castle Rock Fights Off United Nations Invasion

UPDATE: We’ve posted a few clips from last night’s Castle Rock town council meeting after the jump. You can watch Castle Rock’s city manager and another town employee warning of the consequences of refusing the CDBG grant money on existing recipients in Castle Rock. Then you can watch Castle Rock’s mayor decry the fact that organizations in his town are “dependent” on the federal government. Finally, a council member argues in favor of refusing the grant money, saying “let’s feel that pain.”

We can think of a few terms to describe this, but “responsible” isn’t one of them.


The Douglas County GOP warned of United Nations mischief afoot in a Tweet yesterday, right in their own hometown:

Castle Rock.

Castle Rock.

That’s right, folks! Those gun-grabbing social engineering commies at the United Nations have set their sights on the God-fearing town of Castle Rock, Colorado. Castle Rock as part of “urban” Douglas County has already been receiving Community Development Block Grant (CDBG) funding from the federal government, but the town has grown enough to qualify for CDBG funds on its own. Now you’ll have to stick with us for a moment, because the path from a federal grant to totalitarian United Nations control of the sovereign citizens Castle Rock is a little convoluted–and not terribly evident in the list of potential uses for the funds in question:

Help to cover the cost of the summer lunch program for youth in the parks
Help provide funding to the Castle Rock Senior Center
Provide funding for after-school programs
Provide funding for a preschool scholarship fund

Along with other projects like upgrading parks and community centers, storm sewer maintenance, fire truck lease payments, and Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) compliance work in downtown Castle Rock. The biggest change is that Castle Rock’s local grant recipient programs would apply to the town, not Douglas County, for these funds.

Can blue-helmeted stormtroopers in the streets of Castle Rock be far behind?

As posted to GOP Senate candidate Jess Loban's Facebook page.

As posted to GOP Senate candidate Jess Loban’s Facebook page.

But fortunately for America, the Castle Rock Town Council stood up to the United Nations and their damned preschool scholarship programs last night, overwhelmingly voting 5-1 against accepting the CDBG grant money. Reportedly, this vote rejected CDBG funds through Douglas County as well, leaving existing recipients in Castle Rock high and dry. Republican state senate candidate Jess Loban, running to replace Sen. Mark Scheffel in SD-4, nonetheless hailed the vote in a Facebook post:

We faced federal overreach in Castle Rock tonight. The feds sent our town council a letter mandating that they choose whether or not to take obligation-ridden (AFFH aka: Agenda 21) funds (only $212k). These came at the low price of having to accept federal direction on the growth of our town and becoming further subjects to federal intervention. Thank you to our Council, save one, who voted to not only turn away this offer but any other obligated funds. A special thanks to Council Members Jennifer Green, George Teal and Mayor Paul Donahue for your defense of our town’s right to self-govern.

And with that, Castle Rock is safe for another two years from preschool scholarships and money for their senior center! It’s true that the threats to our sacred American freedoms sometimes don’t seem all that threatening. Heck, sometimes it looks, well, a little crazy to take a stand for the flag, the Constitution, and the sacred chastity of our teenage daughters.

But that’s the moment when Real Americans® set aside logic, proportion, common sense, whatever you city folk want to call it, and do what has to be done.

18 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. Progressicat says:

    For those who saw who saw "AFFH" next to Obamazilla preparing to devour the city and thought WTF? (after the WTF? for the picture itself, and the WTF? for the entire CDBG hullabaloo, of course)  I found a decoding from Mother Jones.

    • Moderatus says:

      In other words, more social engineering.

    • mamajama55 says:

      That AFFH stuff interests me, because my mother spent years working in fair housing agencies. It's not hard to read between the lines of the link you provided to see what has got the right wing in such a foaming froth:

      … basically the concrete goals seem to be (1) providing communities with data regarding the racial, ethnic and income distribution of housing in their towns; (2) encouraging and funding affordable housing in prosperous areas; and (3) pressing communities to change zoning rules that promote segregation.

      Horrors! Real data? Encouraging affordable housing in prosperous areas? Changing zoning rules that promote segregation? Dammit, what about our property rights??

      – Cartoon by Siers, posted on Patheos blog





      Pat Oliphant also had a great cartoon on this, but I can't find it online.

      The right wing is fighting this because they don't want to have neighborhoods that are economically and ethnically diverse. The whole idea of the government subsidizing "affordable housing" is anathema to them, although they have no problem subsidizing oil and gas, or subsidizing shipping jobs overseas, or bailing out banks so that they can then give their top execs big bonuses.


  2. Progressicat says:

    On a separate note, I wish the UN were 1/100 as effective as the wingnuts believe them to be.

  3. davebarnes says:

    Certain people are just begging to be sent to the FEMA re-education camps.

  4. bullshit! says:

    This is Castle Rock. So it would be a re-NEDucation camp.

    • BlueCat says:

      This all reminds me. Obama had better get busy. No death panels have done away with any Downs Syndrome kids, no reeducation camps have been opened, Sharia law hasn't been imposed, the government hasn't shown up at anybody's door to take away our guns , people who say the nastiest things abut him still haven't been locked up and he's running out of time. Oh wait. I forgot. Isn't he supposed to call off the next election and declare himself President for Life or something? So.. plenty of time after all.

  5. murallen says:

    Wow. Those people are nuts.

  6. Conserv. Head Banger says:

    I never tire of the human comedy. This country has the most powerful military that has ever existed. Yet, there are those who quake in fear, and lay awake at night, worrying about the black helicopters invading, carrying UN storm troopers. What a bunch of yo-yos.

    Moderatus wrote:  "in other words, more social engineering."  It's a friggin' grant, for chris-sakes. Show me a grantor that doesn't have strings attached to their money, even if it's just periodic reporting. 

    • Diogenesdemar says:

      Yeah, well, if our military is so darn powerful, tell me why they've taken an entire summer and still haven't secured a single Texas Wal-Mart?!?

      • MADCO says:

        Cuz Texas is the head fake. Any minute now we're all going to find out it was Colorado all along. 

        The Colorado Guard will get new uniforms, they'll mobilize against a supportive or clueless populace, and bang! Colorado will be part of the USA. No more sovereign, no more state something, just Feds. 

  7. NotHopeful says:

    Well, having lived in Castle Rock for quite some time, I can tell you that these council members are not exactly paragons of brilliance. You do recall that they authorized the open carry of firearms even at city facilities. And who can forget these other greatest hits:

    1. The giant mess off Founders Parkway and I-25

    2. The decaying, blacktop-covered slum they call "downtown"

    3. The rejection of a likely lucrative car dealer on NIMBY grounds even though the complaining homeowners had twenty years notice of the zoning

    4. The overcrowded and dingy recreation center

    5. The Gonzales case, in which their town attorney argued successfully at the U.S. Supreme Court that police don't have to give a darn about protective orders

    6. The regular discharge of untreated sewage into Mitchell Creek on the east side of Castle Rock, which then is carried into Cherry Creek

    7. The Philip S. Miller Regional Park boondoggle, in which the taxpayers who paid for the park have to pay $50 or $70 to use the rope lines

    8. The informal policy requiring prevention of any Whole Foods Market in the town, so as to protect the other two specialty chain produce grocers

    9. The financial bloodbath known as Mesa Middle School, though the responsibility for the land swindle that happened there is shared with the Douglas County School District

    10. The lack of snowplowing on residential streets, allowance of mega-mansions atop the scenic cliffs on the north side of the town and elsewhere in areas that should have been set aside as open space, the successful push for a vote on a referendum to take the town out of RTD and the cultural facilities district, the termination of the town's only other mass transit option (Castle Rock Shuttle), the tax breaks for the developer of the mall north of the Outlets which will compete with the Outlets and cut into its tax revenue generation ability, the wholesale killing of prairie dogs, the near-bankruptcy in the 1980s  . . .

    I think you get the idea. Expecting the Castle Rock Town Council to be intelligent, let alone rational, is sort of like asking Donald Trump not to be a misogynist.

  8. yameniye says:

    Good thing the New York City bike sharing type plan was not included as part of the deal.  The good nut jobs of Castle Rock would have formed a militia to send to somewhere to scare away any foreigner money from entering the town perimeter.


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