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February 01, 2007 01:15 AM UTC

Tancredo Viciously Attacked by Sense of Humor

  • by: Colorado Pols

Eminent South Florida humorist Dave Barry decided that the best way to handle Rep. Tom Tancredo is to have some fun with him. Reprinted in today’s Denver Post:

Welcome to Miami, Super Bowl visitors! You’re going to have a wonderful time, from the moment you arrive in our magical city, until the moment you discover that your wallet is missing.

I’m kidding! You’ll be fine, probably! Because the truth is that Miami is a terrific place, despite the criticisms you may have heard from ignorant yokel blowhards who shall remain nameless, such as U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo.

Back in November, Rep. Tancredo, who represents suburban Denver, ruffled some feathers down here when he called Miami “a third-world country.” For the record, that charge is unfair: Miami is WAY better armed than any third-world country. Miami is also a world-class party city, which is why the Super Bowl is being held here for a record-tying ninth time. Compare that with – to pick a city at random – Denver, which has been selected to host the Super Bowl a total of, let’s see, the ’60s, nope, the ’70s, nope, the ’80s, nope, the ’90s, nope, the 2000s, nope … .

Gosh, it seems that Denver has NEVER, not one single time in over four decades, been selected to host the Super Bowl. I’m sure there’s a good reason for this, such as that the Denver area has too few hotel rooms, or too many xenophobic dimwits representing it in Congress.

Asked whether his column would inversely help Tancredo with his nascent presidential bid, Barry answered,

I’m happy to help make ‘Tancredo’ a household word, like ‘toilet.’


38 thoughts on “Tancredo Viciously Attacked by Sense of Humor

  1. Even the players would go skiing.

    Miami’s a wonderful place if you like hot, stinky cabs, skyscrapers where ever you look and fire ants.

    Indeed, I think the Denver Post should move there.

  2. But what he describes DOES sound like a third world city.  Incompetent and corrupt politicians are one of the hallmarks of third world gummints.

  3. Tom Tancredo is right, Miami is Barry’s kind of town.

    It’s sad that Barry doesn’t have anyone in Miami who reads English, so he has to syndicate his drivel to the Denver Post, which isn’t read either.

    1. It’s why Colbert won and O’Reilly lost last week.  And one thing Mr. Tancredo is not is funny.

      Newspaper circulation continues to fall, but the Denver Post still leads all newspapers in Colorado by a healthy margin, and its numbers aren’t falling as quickly as the Rocky’s.  Your saying it “isn’t read” is wishful thinking.  And everyone knows who Dave Barry is.

      1. if you don’t think Tancredo’s funny.

        You’ve probably never heard him give a talk.

        Both papers are losing readers at about the same rate and have similar circulation numbers.

        1. I’ve heard him tell jokes, and usually I find the self-deprecating shtick charming, but on him it fits badly, like a cheap suit.  Just my opinion.

          My mom was a high school classmate of Tom’s in Denver.  According to her, he used their 10th reunion as a chance to rail against everyone who had wronged him at school.  Funny!

          If “similar” means “differing by 200,000 daily,” then I agree with you.  And I haven’t calculated the rate of loss, but the numbers were a bit closer than that two years ago.

    1. All Barry’s doing is reminding people that Tancredo’s their kind of guy.

      Liberals hate Tancredo already, so Barry doesn’t hurt TT there.

      Independents are for border security. No problem there.

      Conservatives like Tancredo and don’t read Barry. No problem there.

      1. He has been a laughing stock, but he has only been a laughing stock locally. Now he is garnering national attention, something that he rarely got before. He has been a local embarrassment, now he is a national one.

        1. the fact that Miami is a dank, dreary, dangerous city.

          I have friends (husband/wife) that moved there several years ago. The wife is a nurse and the husband is a carpenter. They moved to be near her family which are ALL doctors. They live in an upscale area of Miami.
          After just over a year my friends moved back to Colorado Springs. Even though the money and house they lived in was fantastic, life there sucked.
          They told me of the gun shots through all hours of the night. The roaming gangs of Cubans and Mexicans. Not to mention Crips/Bloods and such. Drug deals all over the place, etc. Not nice.
          As much as they love their relatives, Miami is a shit hole, they moved back.

          ……even worse than Denver if you can believe that….

    1. “Paid for by Tancredo for a Secure America © 2007, P.O. Box 7204 McLean, VA 22106”

      Tom Tancredo couldn’t form his Presidential exploratory committee here in Colorado–not enough support.

  4. selected to host the Super Bowl…….

    Maybe it is because of its proximity to that Liberal Oasis Boulder?

    Actually who would want to play, yet alone watch a super duper football game in 4 degree snowy weather?


    1. Denver isn’t chosen to host the superbowl because its too damn cold in Feb.  That is why super bowls are held in San Diego, Miami, Phoenix etc.

        1. If there’s a closed, climate-controlled dome then they would hold it at the North Pole. Although Seattle, which had one for decades, never hosted the Super Bowl that I can recall.

  5. Dave Barry is freakin’ hilarious and dead-on the money in a not-actually-true sort of way. Lighten up and realize that Tancredo’s a certified nut-job, and Barry is a certified comedic genius.

  6. Barry needs to get his facts straight. Tom Tancredo is NOT the representative for Denver. I hate the fact that a crazy like Tancredo can hurt the image of an area he doesn’t even represent. Someone should write Barry an email explaining that Denver would never elect someone like Tancredo.

    Do you think he would be surprised that Diana DeGette is from Colorado? I wonder if he includes her in his “xenophobic dimwit” category. I mean for crying out loud, at least we don’t have Jeb Bush!!!

    1. It’s all Denver as far as others are concerned. 

      We do the same thing to other cities.  Hialiah, Coral Gables, Homestead, North Miami Beach, etc.

      1. “Represents suburban Denver”, just checked it again.

        To my way of thinking, it sounds like a part of Denver, out in the suburbs.  Actually, places like Montbello might fit that definition.

    2. Tancredo is North Denver and North Denver is America.  Tancredo represents Littleon or Parker or one of those pretty places….but his xenophobic soul is pure North Denver, pure “I got here first…minutes before you did, and now I am going to push you out,” ….America, you gotta love it. 

      I think what Dave Barry nails so well…is along the lines of I can call my brother a “fat head” but if you call him a “fat head”….I’ll slug you…and the
      “fat head” probably will  hit  you, too….or me.

      1. Like, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and keep your friends close and your enemies closer. 

        Actually, what you point out is pretty common in international affairs.  Chavez may be (insert negatives here), but don’t tell that to the people of Venezueal.  Was Sadaam, once.

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