May 08, 2024 10:28 AM UTC

Worms Ate Robert Kennedy's Brain, and This is Not a Joke Headline

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• by: Colorado Pols

We’ve often joked in this space that some politicians who act particularly crazy — usually those on the far right — have had their brains eaten by social media, or the internet, or whatever.

As it turns out, this might actually happen.

According to various reports, including from The New York Times, Independent Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. might literally have had part of his brain eaten by a worm:

In 2010, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was experiencing memory loss and mental fogginess so severe that a friend grew concerned he might have a brain tumor. Mr. Kennedy said he consulted several of the country’s top neurologists, many of whom had either treated or spoken to his uncle, Senator Edward M. Kennedy, before his death the previous year of brain cancer.

Several doctors noticed a dark spot on the younger Mr. Kennedy’s brain scans and concluded that he had a tumor, he said in a 2012 deposition reviewed by The New York Times. Mr. Kennedy was immediately scheduled for a procedure at Duke University Medical Center by the same surgeon who had operated on his uncle, he said.

While packing for the trip, he said, he received a call from a doctor at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital who had a different opinion: Mr. Kennedy, he believed, had a dead parasite in his head.

The doctor believed that the abnormality seen on his scans “was caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died,” Mr. Kennedy said in the deposition. [Pols emphasis]

Um.

Honestly, we don’t even know what to say here. Let’s go back to the Times:

About the same time he learned of the parasite, he said, he was also diagnosed with mercury poisoning, most likely from ingesting too much fish containing the dangerous heavy metal, which can cause serious neurological issues.

“I have cognitive problems, clearly,” he said in a 2012 deposition. “I have short-term memory loss, and I have longer-term memory loss that affects me.”

In the interview with The Times, he said he had recovered from the memory loss and fogginess and had no aftereffects from the parasite, which he said had not required treatment. Asked last week if any of Mr. Kennedy’s health issues could compromise his fitness for the presidency, Stefanie Spear, a spokeswoman for the Kennedy campaign, told The Times, “That is a hilarious suggestion, given the competition.”

The campaign declined to provide his medical records to The Times. [Pols emphasis]

Is it “hilarious” to be concerned that a guy WHO LITERALLY HAD HIS BRAIN EATEN BY A WORM might not be fit for the Presidency of the United States? We’re going to have to disagree here.

President Biden is 81 years old. Donald Trump is 77. At age 70, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr is comparatively young…but, again, A WORM ATE PART OF HIS BRAIN.

At this point, the best thing you can say about RFK, Jr. as a candidate for elected office is that at least he didn’t execute a puppy. Other than that…yeah, the worm thing is gonna be an issue.