October 12, 2023 12:53 PM UTC

Obligatory Durango Bigfoot Discussion Thread

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• by: Colorado Pols

UPDATE: So say we all:

Debunking the Bigfoot video is bad for the sustainability of a profit-driven advertising-supported late-capitalist business model for local news, so make sure it doesn't happen — and if it does, do NOT put it in the headline

— Corey Hutchins (@CoreyHutchins) October 12, 2023

We promise not to be the first, anyway.

—–

As the Denver Post reports, and like Balloon Boy it’s a story we tried but couldn’t resist:

Shannon and Stetson Parker were looking for elk during their Sunday train ride through the San Juan Mountains on the way to Durango from Silverton when Stetson saw what he thought could be Bigfoot.

“We were looking for elk in the mountains and my husband sees something moving and then can’t really explain it. So he’s like, ‘Bigfoot!’” Shannon told The New York Post. “It was at least six, seven feet or taller. It matched the sage in the mountains so much that he’s like camouflaged when crouching down.”

Here’s the video as filmed last Sunday from the Durango and Silverton narrow gauge tourist rail line of what definitely looks like a hirsute upright-walking…something:

Our first thought, and it could still turn out to be correct, was that the D&SNG is executing a clever viral marketing campaign to goose ridership. Since the first word of this story at the beginning of the week, the railroad has received more media mentions than it most likely has in many years, and we wouldn’t be a bit surprised to learn that every Bigfoot believer across the globe has at least inquired about the price of a ticket.

Other possibilities include lone-wolf weirdos dressing up like Bigfoot for kicks, MAGA militia types on a long-term bugout, and of course those abominal furries Heidi Ganahl warned us about last year. What we’ve read about the legend of Bigfoot, which isn’t much beyond the Wikipedia entry, suggests that they’re not generally inclined to sun themselves in plain view of passing trains, perhaps mindful of how that worked out for the plains buffalo.

If you have a better theory, tell us soon before the less-than-sensational truth comes out.