March 09, 2012 01:32 AM UTC

Spring, when a bored politician's thoughts turn to...

• 5 Comments
• by: ProgressiveCowgirl

Silly season has come early this year, as demonstrated by a week’s worth of lewdness by elected officials, those who’d like to be elected officials, and those who like to be thorns in the sides of elected officials. After reading about Senator Brophy’s outrageously offensive comments, and today’s classy contribution from Matt Arnold, it may come as a relief to know that the most recently publicized set of sexually charged comments were merely inappropriate, not frothing-at-the-mouth misogynistic. In fact, Governor Hickenlooper is under fire for turning men into “sexual objects,” according to the largest Denver paper.

But that’s not the funniest, or strangest part. That part comes from Jon Caldara, in a blog post defending Hick:

Given my proclivity for endless sophomoric sex jokes (thus the Independence Institute motto – Come for the Public Policy, Stay for the Sexual Harassment), I know what it is like to unintentionally offend social moralists. Fortunately they always forgive my addiction to junior high raunch.

(What did Hick do, and why is Caldara sticking up for him? Find out after the jump.)

It seems Governor Hickenlooper made a couple of extra-sexy introductions in the last couple weeks. First, in introducing his second in command, Joe Garcia, to elementary school students, Hick called the Lt. Gov. a “rising sex star,” then corrected it to the slightly less bizarre “sex symbol” a moment later. (In all fairness to Hick, I have to say I have heard more than one person refer to Garcia as sexy, and neither was married to or being paid by him. However, neither was an elementary school student, either. Hardly the right audience for that descriptor.)A few days later, the Governor made a joke about what Mayor Hancock’s wife “gives him in the shower.” In context, Hick was referring to a serenade from Denver’s first lady (a much-lauded singer), but the crowd’s laughter probably reflected a different inference.

Hick’s unlikely defender, Caldara, today urged the Governor not to apologize for his remarks. (According to the Governor’s office, the ‘Looper already made amends with the Hancocks.) Another choice quote:

But your sense of humor is one of your greatest political assets. Don’t let a couple of hyper-sensitive prudes pressure you into self-censorship. Self-censorship is to only be experienced by Republican students on college campuses.

Oh, and Guv, welcome to my world.

P.S. If anyone is interested in me in the shower, the mayor’s wife has pictures.         (Um, that’s a joke.)

No, Mr. Caldara, nobody wants to see that. Ever. Unless the Mayor’s wife needs to do some vocal exercises involving hitting notes usually reserved for Victorian dames who’ve sighted a mouse, or an uncovered piano leg.

Kidding aside, I can’t quite figure out what the Governor was thinking in using the term “sex symbol” in front of elementary students, but I suppose the class paid attention. And–words I’ve never wanted to type–Caldara has a point. It’s just not the one he thinks he has.

See, jokes can be legitimately harmful. A “harmless” dirty joke told by someone in a position of privilege can serve to silence or intimidate those without the same privileges. Caldara can tell a “feminists screwing in a light bulb” joke, because feminist anger can be funny to a guy whose reproductive choice is never going to be voted down by someone who thinks it’s funny that feminists are so angry about a little thing like our right to decide when, where, how, and if we have children.

But inauthentic outrage can also be legitimately harmful, and can silence voices who (unlike Caldara) sound off for women’s rights and individual freedom when it comes to a vote. We saw the right wing opportunistically portray Joe Biden as a racist in an attempt to damage the campaign of the black man who had selected Biden as his running mate. We’ll probably see plenty of progressive voices portrayed as sexist as the War on Women continues, because, like it or not, strawman arguments and ad hominems play well in the news cycle.

I’m a feminist, and I’m tired of the “jokes” about my rights. I’m also tired of concern trolling. An inappropriate joke deserves a calling-out (as Hickenlooper got from black ministers, who were careful to clarify that they support the Gov overall) and should, no matter what Caldara thinks, generally prompt an apology. But Colorado’s first lady has put Hick on notice on the home front: He “better not go for a trifecta.”

So, I’ll leave Hick’s sexually charged remarks in her capable hands, and agree with Caldara in hoping that both liberals and conservatives move on. When the Governor runs for reelection, as a feminist, I want to hear about how his policies affected women, sexual liberty, human trafficking, and children’s safety. I don’t want to hear about that time he said something naughty in front of an elementary school class. Let’s have our laugh now, and move on.