January 21, 2012 02:38 AM UTC

His Father Was a Semi-Truck

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• by: Colorado Pols

There’s all sorts of funny in this “article” in something called The North Fork Merchant Herald about a potential HD-61 candidate named Matt Soper. The point of this user-submitted piece (probably written by Soper himself) is to generate some buzz about his potential candidacy as a Republican, and it made us laugh out loud.

First, check out the lede:

Matt Soper (R-Austin), a fourth generation Coloradoan, is considering a run for the Colorado House of Representatives, District 61.

Um, you don’t normally identify yourself as (R-[Some Town]) until you have actually been elected — but definitely not until you are actually a candidate. Right now, Matt, you’re just a guy who lives in Austin, Colorado.

But that’s not the best part of the story. This is where we spit milk out of our nose:

Mr Soper’s mother was an elementary school teacher for 40 years and his father a semi-truck. [Pols emphasis]

There’s a picture of Soper’s proud papa on the right. Or, at least, what we guess he might have looked like. He was a semi-truck, but maybe he’s changed.