Rep. Ron Hanks, Insurrectionist Man Of Mystery

Rep. Ron Hanks (R).

With the Colorado General Assembly getting back to work next week after a monthlong COVID-imposed hiatus, one of the more curious stories we’re following is that of freshman Republican Rep. Ron Hanks of Penrose. A week before being sworn in to represent Colorado House District 60 on January 13th, Hanks was present in Washington D.C. for the “Stop the Steal” rally that degenerated into a riot and the first storming of the U.S. Capitol since the War of 1812. It doesn’t appear that Hanks did anything to earn himself criminal charges that day, and he claimed to have not actually entered the building while suggesting that those who stormed the Capitol and attacked police officers “weren’t Trump supporters” and “managed to make look good people look bad just by uh, blending in.”

The following week, Rep. Hanks appeared at the Colorado state capitol building to be sworn in, then promptly disappeared, and was absent for the rest of the few days the General Assembly was in session in January before gaveling out to dodge the pandemic. When asked about Hanks’ conspicuous absence, GOP Minority Leader Hugh McKean said Hanks was feeling “under the weather,” later claiming without any proof that Hanks had a case of “laryngitis.” Needless to say these were not satisfactory answers in the middle of a pandemic, a week after Hanks ill-advisedly traveled to Washington, D.C. for a rally with thousands of similarly irresponsible disease vectors.

But if it’s answers you want from Ron Hanks, don’t bother–he “doesn’t talk to the press.”

If by this point you find yourself a bit worried about Hanks’ wellbeing, and it’s understandable, you’ll be relieved to know that a week after Hanks appeared and then disappeared from the legislature, 9NEWS did report this sign of life:

A Republican state representative from Fremont County, Colo., who was present in Washington, D.C. during this month’s insurrection, claimed that foreign intelligence agencies may be able to keep Joe Biden from becoming president on Wednesday…

“We are down to the very final options to right a flawed election, and it is possible it will not happen,” [Hanks] said. “Patriots, and all Americans are in a perilous dilemma: This isn’t just an economic system or policy priorities we are arguing about. There is a nuclear and national security aspect to this election that must not fall into the hands of foreign enemies or their domestic agents.”

On Wednesday, January 20th, Joe Biden did indeed become President. Foreign intelligence agencies did not drop their salacious Q-dirt, the Space Force didn’t swoop down from the heavens to arrest America’s shadowy elites. We haven’t heard a peep from Rep. Ron Hanks since then, but presumably he…knows this? Next week, hopefully fully cured of his “laryngitis” so as not to infect anyone else with, you know, laryngitis, Rep. Hanks is going to be back at the Colorado Capitol ready to sort everything out for us.

If Hanks doesn’t want to talk, they just need to cover the exits like reporters did with Cory Gardner.

5 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. JeffcoBlue says:

    Am I the only one who gets a weird uncanny valley vibe from this guy? It's like he's not perfectly human. Perhaps his absences are to report in at Dulce base.

  2. NOV GOP meltdown says:

    First, I give this guy the benefit of the doubt he may not have participated in the Capitol riot.

    It makes me really angry though, when I see the treasonous assholes that did participate in it associate themselves in any way with the American flag.  You don't believe in our American system of government, or care for the fact that we are the longest continuous democracy in history, so stop pretending.  It's disgraceful.

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