August 31, 2012 04:50 PM UTC

In Which Clint Eastwood Makes Us Very Sad

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• by: Colorado Pols

UPDATE: From “The Fix” who declares that Eastwood was “so bad we named him twice” in their Winners & Losers from last night.

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Politico:

Clint Eastwood delivered a rambling performance at the Republican National Convention on Thursday night in a speech that included the Hollywood legend speaking to an empty stool and telling an imaginary President Barack Obama “I’m not going to shut up” and calling the president “absolutely crazy.”

…Democrats were quick to pounce, with Obama deputy campaign manager Stephanie Cutter tweeting: “Wow.”

“Referring all questions on this to Salvador Dali,” Obama campaign spokesman Ben LaBolt said in an email to POLITICO, referring to the late surrealist painter.

“Clint Eastwood’s speech tonight brought new meaning to the good, the bad and the ugly … but mostly just the bad and the ugly,” said Obama campaign spokesman Lis Smith.

Folks, we really don’t have the heart to tear into Clint Eastwood in the manner he certainly deserves for his disastrous, barely coherent joke of a speech last night. After all, there is an entire generation of American men whose ideal of machismo–not the poofy-haired Tom Selleck 1980s version, the real stuff–pretty much revolved around either Old West loner Clint Eastwood or Dirty Harry. The musical Paint Your Wagon, of course, never happened.

Out of respect for one of the great icons of 20th century American cinema, we hope readers will remember Clint Eastwood for the way he stared down Lee Van Cleef in The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. And forget all about what happened last night.