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June 17, 2009 09:39 AM UTC

Senator John Ensign, R-NV, explains the sanctity of marriage

  • 13 Comments
  • by: Barron X

.

In a hastily called news conference, Senator Ensign explains to his constituents that marriage is a sacred institution.  

He reiterated his demands that Senators Vitter, Craig and just about every other Republican in the Senate (they pretty much all are adulterers, he assumed) resign immediately for not living chastely.  

He thanked his wife Darlene for her steadfast support, and explained that some personal family problem kept her from being at the news conference.  

He reminded voters that he had pronounced Bill Clinton unfit to lead because of his infidelity, and said that the nation’s leaders had to live up to higher standards.  

.

.

Oh, and he muttered something about his own sexual harassment of a staff member, committing adultery with the wife of one of his staffers, and being a despicable sinner,

but that was OK,

because God had forgiven him.  Twice.

I figured this would be bigger than the Iran story on Wednesday’s Open Thread, so I created this to give the topic it’s own space.  

If you want to help this Senator –

who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and who helpfully passes judgment on every sort of sinner –  

through this difficult time,

you can donate to his 2012 run for the presidency at

www.Ensign-in-2012.org/suckahs_donate_here.php

Suggest appropriate poll questions for me to add.

.

Comments

13 thoughts on “Senator John Ensign, R-NV, explains the sanctity of marriage

  1. That’s not true. Ensign was one of three children raised by a single mom who worked as a “change girl” in Vegas casinos. She eventually married (and her children took the name) of a casino big-shot, but he was definitely not born with any silver spoons.

    The rest of your observations are right on.

  2. The good senator!

    He thanked his wife Darlene for her steadfast support, and explained that some personal family problem kept her from being at the news conference.  

    Ya think?

    1. reminding us of how this shouldn’t be bad for Rs because so many on both sides of the aisle are guilty of these lapses.  Difference is, The Dems haven’t been campaigning on superior morals (and loving those troops more as Palin recently reminded us) for the past couple of decades. On the right you actually seem to get extra points for falling so God can pick you up while those pagan Dems are the only ones who deserve retribution and/or impeachment.

    2. .

      Ensign never said anything about his wife at the press conference, as far as I know.  

      This post is a work of fiction, based only loosely on some inconvenient facts.  

      I did it to mock a guy who until very recently used to imagine that being a Christian made him better than other folks.  

      On the contrary, being a Christian ought to make one more aware of one’s own shortcomings.  

      His admission of his own sins and shortcomings in a public humiliation of a press conference may actually be a necessary first step toward becoming a better Christian.  

      Being a Christian is a sign of weakness, not a sign of strength.

      It’s an acknowledgment that one needs outside help.    

      If this glance in the mirror helps the guy learn some humility, compassion, forgiveness, or understanding of his fellow man, then I think it is good that he went through it.  

      I don’t think this sinfulness disqualifies him from high office; several other Senators are also human, and being human entails sin and falling short of the Glory of God.  

      I do think the hypocrisy should disqualify him, but that’s up to the voters of Nevada.  Maybe this has cured him.

      .

      1. I haven’t read much of the coverage, and somehow I don’t think I’ll be bothering to watch the press conference. Thanks for the clarification.  

        1. .

          so that it would be obvious that it was a fictional account.

          But after Larry Craig’s press conference, my fictionalized account above was well within the limits of plausibility.  

          Your only mistake was believing something based on your trust in me.  My bad.

          .  

          1. My gullibility comes from having been steeped in years of watching the national GOP bosses’ talent for self-parody as performance art.  

  3. I have not followed this: His covenant was not with me regarding his marriage (its also why gay marriage doesn’t bother me (it wouldn’t even if I wasn’t a liberal)), I barely even care about the hypocrisy element (apparently neither do “conservatives” since so many of them get reelected after admitting affairs).

    One thing you mentioned did bother me: sexual harassment.  Is there evidence of that?

    1. .

      When I worked for the Air Force years ago, news reports came out about two different AF Generals who were having affairs with the wives of their direct subordinates.  

      Now, the culture in the Air Force isn’t as rigid as the Army or the Marines, which I know fairly well, but it’s somewhat similar.  

      I will always believe it was an abuse of their positions to take advantage of these women, even if the women professed to love their abusers.  

      .

      A person with that much power over their subordinates, and their subordinates’ wives, cannot have an equal relationship with them.  

      The threat of significant punishment is inherent in any sexual advance.  

      The person without power in such a relationship cannot give consent, because they cannot make a decision free of implicit coercion.    

      Generals, supervisors, Senators, Coaches, Professors, High School teachers,

      these are all positions of special trust and responsibility.  

      They demand higher standards of conduct.  

      The Chief of Staff of the Air Force at the time might have been thinking about abusing his position in a similar fashion, because neither of these Generals was punished.  Clinton was President at the time.  

      By my definition or framing of the issue, Clinton committed sexual harassment, even though his victims professed to love him and insisted that their abuse was consensual.

      .

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