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May 13, 2012 09:42 PM UTC

At Least He's Not Your Junior High School Bully Masquerading as a Senator

  • 9 Comments
  • by: ProgressiveCowgirl

That’s so GAY!” giggled Rand Paul in several places during a special showing of The Avengers. After each reiteration, Paul turned to his viewing companions, elbowed their ribs, and gazed expectantly at them, awaiting the flurry of appreciative chuckles he was sure were deserved by his wit. Favorite targets included Captain America and the Incredible Hulk, both of whom are believed to be heterosexual. Paul was also observed nodding rapidly and repeating, “Am I right, or am I right?”

…OK, not really, but Paul did bring political discourse down to a seventh-grade level at Iowa’s Faith and Freedom Coalition Meeting when he said, “The president recently weighed in on marriage and you know he said his views were evolving on marriage. Call me cynical, but I wasn’t sure his views on marriage could get any gayer.”

Paul followed up this high point of his oratorical career by complaining, “He said the biblical Golden Rule caused him to be for gay marriage. I’m like, ‘What version of the Bible is he reading?'”

Thanks to bible.cc, here are some possible answers to Paul’s question.

English Standard Version:


“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

King James Version (Cambridge):

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

English Revised Version:

All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Biblical scholar Clarke says:


The general meaning of it is this: ‘Guided by justice and mercy, do unto all men as you would have them to do to you, were your circumstances and theirs reversed.’

If anyone was still wondering what’s really behind the Ron Paul “reLOVEution,” look no farther than the juvenile and repulsive behavior of Paul’s most politically successful son, while campaigning for his father’s unlikely presidential bid. In a household that teaches true civil libertarianism, one could expect to find, if not gay marriage proponents, opponents of governmental regulation of marriage in any way, shape, or form. Rand Paul, on the other hand, appears to have been raised to value Christian dominionism–and a brand of it that would embarrass Jesus, Matthew, and most Christians, at that–over liberty.  

What's next for Rand Paul?

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9 thoughts on “At Least He’s Not Your Junior High School Bully Masquerading as a Senator

  1. and go all the rest of the declining number of radical righties. I am willing to lose a good battle knowing that we WILL win the war

        1. Loaded it in under 3 seconds. It didn’t even take long enough to measure using my computer.

          But I’ve put in a smaller one for you people and your 1995 modems.

  2. It says don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to you.  Seems like a safer bet than figuring everyone would want what you want.   Maybe you’re a fill-in-the-blank and think you’d want to be saved by being converted by force if you were a benighted heathen.  Not a safe assumption others would see that as a favor.

    On the other hand, if you refrain from doing stuff to others you don’t like, even if you’re wrong, say you don’t like close talkers and the person you’re talking to does, not much harm done. I suppose it figures that the Jewish version is in the negative, huh? Just kidding. I’m card carrying and not self loathing.  

  3. He’s Bowling Green material.  Lexington is pretty Dem (for KY) and, well ‘genteele.’  Not saying there taint teabaggers there, just not the hotbed that his home turf is.  

    (Go Hilltoppers!).

  4. I’d like to see it as a romantic comedy. With lots of complications and a flip ending. Like, Paul falls for Hickenlooper at the end and it turns out that Owen was really interested in the ghost of Keynes and the ghost turns out to be Paul’s dad and Hick is really a tranny from Barnard and….

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