Robertson: God Has Revealed Next President To Me (But Not You)

Conservative reports:

Pat Robertson says God has told him who the next president will be – but it’s a secret.

The televangelist revealed on Tuesday that he had spent the nearly a week in prayer, asking God to “show me something.”

“I think He showed me the next president, but I’m not supposed to talk about that,” Robertson explained. “So I’ll leave you in the dark – probably just as well – I think I’ll know who it will be.”

Raw Story:

“Your president holds a radical view of the direction of your country which is at odds with the majority, expect chaos and paralysis,” God reportedly said…

We actually thought that was the House, but we’re surer than hell heck not going to argue with God.

26 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. BlueCat says:

    The perfect risk free way to make predictions.

  2. Middle of the Road says:

    I would like to add that God has also told me who is going to win in November but I’m not allowed to reveal that to anyone until the day after the election.  

  3. harrydoby says:

    Well the preacher kept right on saying that all I had to do was send

    Ten dollars to the church of the sacred bleeding heart of jesus

    Located somewhere in los angeles, california

    And next week theyd say my prayer on the radio

    And all my dreams would come true

    • Diogenesdemar says:

      nearly 40 years ago?  Pat and God both have lots more overheard, . . . even God can’t get for cable for free what with all the competition from infomercials and the NASCAR and outdoor channels and such. . .

      I’m thinking send Pat at least $500, even if you don’t get let in on all the heavenly secrets, at least you’ll probably get a prayer cloth, or a 2012 diet and exercise plan, or something equly as useful.  

  4. thiokuutoo says:

    Hopefully the next voice he hears tells him to drop trow and swing his dick around during the middle of his comedy hour show.

  5. abraham says:

    Don’t you think God would reveal that information to the candidates who are going to lose so that they could get on with their lives?

    And of all the for real ministers in the United States, why would God pick Robertson?  I mean for Heaven’s sake, why not Rev. Jesse Jackson?

  6. BlueCat says:

    after the caucus, primary, general election, what have you, and we all vote for who we secretly knew would win? No cheating, now.

  7. GalapagoLarry says:

    God tells him, and he only “thinks” he knows? Good grief.  

  8. allyncooper says:

    But I would be more inclined to believe it if God told him who the next president would be if he was leg pressing 1000 lbs. at the time (Robertson that is, not God. But then again, why couldn’t God leg press 1000 lbs.?  After all, He is God).  

  9. Diogenesdemar says:

    for either a Perry or a Bachmann win . . . it seems equally apparent that even the Almighty doesn’t have enough to pull off that kind of miracle?

  10. Gray in Mountains says:

    and Sinead is rethinking her divorce

  11. Fidel's dirt nap says:

    fucking sad.

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