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December 15, 2021 11:04 AM UTC

Today Might be Lauren Boebert's Birthday (Or Not)

  • 11 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols
Boebert’s Wikipedia entry lists her birthdate as 12/15/86…but her voter registration says 12/19/86.

If you have a minute to spare today, you might want to wish Congressperson Lauren “Q*Bert” Boebert a happy birthday.

Or…maybe you should wait until Sunday.

One of the weirder enduring mysteries about the freshman Republican Congressperson from CO-03 is that she and her office refuse to confirm the actual date of her birth. According to some police reports and her own Wikipedia entry, Boebert was born on December 15, 1986. But according to Boebert’s voter registration data (which is public information and was presumably filled out by Lauren Boebert herself), her birthdate is December 19, 1986.

As The Colorado Sun reported in September 2020, Boebert and staff have gone out of their way to avoid answering questions about her actual freaking birthdate:

The woman who carried off this upset was born Lauren Opal Roberts in Altamonte Springs, Florida, on Dec. 15 or 19, 1986. (Police reports list two dates.) [Pols emphasis] Her Wikipedia biographical information shows that when she was 12, her family moved to the Montbello neighborhood in Denver and then to Aurora…

…Neither Boebert nor [spokesperson Laura] Carno would respond to questions about missing and conflicting details of Boebert’s biography.

Boebert has glossed over any mention of a father. She has not explained why she has two birth dates in official records. [Pols emphasis]

Does it matter that we don’t know Boebert’s official DOB? Perhaps not, but it is supremely bizarre that she won’t just clarify this point. It’s not that the record just somehow got mixed up — the issue is that Boebert works very hard to NOT clear up the question. For what reason?

If you need a resolution here, we’d say to go with December 19th, since that’s what Boebert would have had to put down when she first registered to vote in Colorado on August 9, 2005. And if it turns out that her DOB is wrong on her voter registration form…well, that opens up a whole new can of worms.

Comments

11 thoughts on “Today Might be Lauren Boebert’s Birthday (Or Not)

  1. Her birth announcement in the Orlando Sentinel shows her born in Altamonte Springs, Florida on December 19, 1986.

    My guess – and that is all it is – is that she fudged her birth date to protect Jayson from statutory rape charges – she was only 17, and Jayson was 23, when they started "going out", and certainly was pregnant with her oldest, Tyler, when they were married in 2005. Do the math from this Vail Sentinel story.

    Or she may have had a fake ID in order to drink while underage. Nothing most people on this blog haven't done,  (underage drinking, sex outside of marriage, shotgun weddings) with the exception of the statutory rape thing.

  2. Maybe, since her office won't confirm her birthday, it's because she really wasn't born a  US citizen, and is in the country illegally.  Just sayin'

  3. Perhaps her birthday is one of those facts that is a matter of opinion.

    Or maybe December 15, 1986, was the day on which she was born under the Gregorian calendar, but December 19, 1986, was the date under the MAGA calendar.

  4. My guess is she was hatched, and no one was around to know for sure exactly what date she dug her way out of the underground nest? . . .

    My second guess: She was probably at the bowling alley on the day they went over birth dates in GED class? . . .

  5. Having spent a couple of hours today working on medical identification before some tests, scheduling some follow-up procedures, and trying to iron out some insurance website issues, I'm pretty certain there would need to be a consistent answer linked to multiple databases.

  6. Happy Birthday #PewPew: a Complete and Total Endorsement!  This should definitely clear the field (let’s hope it works out better than the Moddy endorsement kiss-of-death). 

    Trump endorses Lauren Boebert

    “Congresswoman Lauren Boebert has done a fantastic job in her first term representing Colorado’s Third District. She is a fearless leader, a defender of the America First Agenda, and a fighter against the Loser RINOs and Radical Democrats,” Trump said in a statement issued through his Save America PAC.

    “She will continue to be tough on Crime, strong on Borders, and always protect our under-siege Second Amendment. Lauren has my Complete and Total Endorsement for her reelection!” the former president added.

  7. Stuff like this makes it clear that beyond being a lunatic and an ignorant malicious nincompoop, she's also just an extremely weird person. I'm sure she thinks that being cagey about her birthday is either some kind of defense against the "deep state" or something she's convinced herself is super clever and funny like the endless self-amusement screaming about "Brandon" as if it's witty and smart.

    1. Yup. Some people come to only be able to take life as a series of tumbling games. I think paranoia…an inability to trust anyone…her whole life experience has been to develop such a defense.

      One wonders if she has ever had an honest moment…about anything.

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