September 16, 2011 03:39 PM UTC

Friday Jams and Comedy

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• by: MADCO

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In what the White House hailed as “an example of what can be accomplished when we put aside partisan differences,” congressional Republicans today responded to President Obama’s $447 billion American Jobs Act by allowing the President to create one part-time job.

While details of what the job would entail remain to be determined, it was expected to be in the lawn work or handing-out-flyers industry.

At the White House, the President acknowledged that creating one part-time job fell somewhat short of the millions of full-time jobs envisioned in his proposed legislation, but added, “This is clearly a step in the right direction.”

In order to secure funding for the part-time job, Mr. Obama had to cave to a series of Republican demands, including tax breaks for second homes and third wives.

But even as the President and congressional Republicans announced their agreement on the part-time job plan, the proposal came under attack from GOP presidential front-runner Rick Perry, who blasted the plan for creating yet another worker who would someday be eligible for Social Security.

“If we don’t cut Social Security now, we won’t have enough money to execute our children’s children,” Gov. Perry said.

~ Andy Borowitz