Divorces and unwanted pregnancies result in many children being brought up in co-parenting families. Blended families are becoming more and more familiar today with changing marriage and family dynamics. The former spouses must practice high integrity and be intentional about bringing the children up properly. At Conscious Family Firm, all parties are heard. Co-parents must learn important skills such as communication skills, negotiation skills, and a positive mindset. Also, learning stress-reduction techniques is vital in preventing outbursts while dealing with children.
There are successful elements that are implemented to ensure co-parenting works out. They are;
For the children’s sake, it is vital to put anger issues away and resolve conflict without involving the young ones. Judgment of each other’s spouses should be avoided while trying to co-parent.
Lessening triangulation strategy
Triangulation strategy involves speaking negatively about the other spouse with your child. It may also mean withholding love to the child who your ex-spouse most favors. For co-parenting to work, children and adults should be treated fairly.
Good agreements about education and care
Both parents must lay out a plan for putting the children’s needs before anything else. A compromise has been reached to ensure the children get the best care and education available. Listening skills are important in co-parenting as they help in reaching an agreement.
For successful co-parenting, former spouses must be willing to communicate and work together. Children should see their parents as a strong working unit.
Successful co-parenting results in;
- Better self-esteem for children
- More intimate and meaningful relationships
- Better school grades
- Safety and security
- Overall well-being that involves physical and mental health
Parenting is more dynamic in religious and cultural settings. Some cultural settings prohibit the mother from leaving the children. Different disciplines make co-parenting more complex than it should be. Co-parenting involves the change of mindset regularly, and this may necessitate some therapy sessions. Creating a plan is very important as it helps fix tasks and activities according to the parent’s availability.
Parenting styles and approaches may change after marriage, and spouses should be kind to each other. For example, one may sleep earlier when the child is around and go out late at night when children are out of sight. The important thing is a child’s safety. Flexibility in parenthood is important, children grow up into teenagers and young adults, and circumstances change. Some spouses may opt to move to new cities, and both former spouses must agree on visitations.
Ensuring your child maintains a bond with parents is important. Parenting is a relationship that is differentiated from any past relationships and feelings. Current spouses should understand that the child’s interests matter. Some of the don’ts in co-parenting are:
- The child picking sides
- Damaging your spouse’s image
- Transferring negative feelings of your former spouse to the children
- Manipulating your former spouse through children
- Avoid accusations about the former spouse without discussions
Additionally, be consistent in co-parenting. Agreeing on communication styles is important as both parents will discipline the child together. Children should understand that an act is wrong regardless of their house or the parents they are with. Some parents tend to show some form of leniency, which is wrong. Maintain sex boundaries between yourself and your former spouse. In case of separation and both spouses decide to makeup, they should explain the new situation to the child. Moreover, children don’t need confusion in their lives.
Co-parenting requires maturity from all spouses. However, co-parenting is difficult, and finding balance can be troublesome. The well-being of the child is worth it. Through successful co-parenting, a child is loved and cared for.