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November 23, 2010 05:57 PM UTC

My County 'Tis of Thee

  • 17 Comments
  • by: JO

Races for the U.S. Senate collectively took center stage in 2010. Maybe they will again in 2014, given there will again be no presidential contest that year and depending on how the political breezes flow over the next two years. This is unfortunate because these races are based on the most fundamentally undemocratic institution in our government, one that originated to protect slavery and one that should either be abolished or consigned to saying “Slow Down” to the (expanded) House (which it already tends to do). This institution, the Senate, is in turn based on a set of anachronisms that should be given one-way tickets outta town on the 12:10 FasTraks to Douglas County.

I’m referring, of course, to the states. Practically speaking, states play no useful role–except to send two people each to the Senate. IF we are to join the 21st century, albeit a decade or so late, the states need to join the Senate in Dustbinicus Historicus, the sooner the better.

Not sufficient time to explore the origins of states except to say they trace their existence to royal charters during the 18th century when no one, and I mean no one, had a clue about fly-over country. (Except, of course, the people actually living there, but that wasn’t the sort of sentiment floating around Whitehall at the time.) Those charters made some sense at the time: they revolved either around religion or … or what, the penal status of the early inhabitants? Should contemporary Americans feel constrained by the whims of a long-past English monarch whose name we’re not quite sure of? (Quick: which monarch granted the charter to William Penn to establish Pennsylvania? Looking it up is cheating.)

Once established, however, these institutions had a certain there there when it came to relating to English-speaking folks across the river. Gradually they took on some form of permanence they never deserved. It’s time to move on.

Nor do these institutions today reflect some level of popular democracy, some means of carrying out the Will of the People. In the state of Colorado, for example, do inhabitants of the eastern swath of counties really have a telling influence in Denver? Do suburbanites in Jefferson County know something about raising corn and wheat? Of course not. Counties, on the other hand, are literally close to the people. They are democracy in action.

At least since 1820, the shape and very existence of new states has reflected federal politics, and specifically politics of the Senate. You remember Maine and Missouri, don’t you? And why Maine became a separate state, detached from Massachusetts? After the Civil War, Senate politics continued to dictate the creation and admission of states, including our own, in an era when Dixiecrats still fighting the civil war made common cause with Democrats fighting class warfare. The Steady Yeoman of the Midwest was the one who could be counted on to vote Plutocratican Republican, so new states were created to keep the Senate safe.

And so, my modest proposal:

1.  Abolish states.

2.  Abolish the Senate, or at least take a lesson from the Brits and turn it into a U.S. House of Lords.

3.  Refocus practical local government functions on counties.

4. Allow counties to join regional alliances to share common costs–or even to merge. (No. 1 obviously would allow this to take place “across state lines” as might make sense to the people living there, as in eastern “Colorado” and far western “Kansas,” for example.)

5. Create regional administrative districts, based on counties, to administer federal programs.

Lastly:

–Won’t happen. Why not?

–Won’t happen tomorrow. What are we waiting for?

–Don’t like it. What’s not to like, except perhaps that it’s a change and/or that you didn’t think of it first?

–Constitution doesn’t provide for it. Then change the Constitution–or replace it if needed.

–Crazy JO, hahahaha. ‘K, how about I try to sell you this thing that you can use to read any book in the New York City public library without leaving home in Kit Carson County?

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17 thoughts on “My County ‘Tis of Thee”

    1. Ahhhh, to know everything, and to be secure in thinking that you do. Life outside the Imaginarium, where mediocre cliches reign supreme and no particular amount of thinking is required, expected, or even allowed, eh?

      Why don’t I feel envious? Beats me!

      Okay, some Pablum, then a nice cozy nap. Be nice and share some with your friend Voyageur, then off to sleep. Zzzzzzz. Zzzzzzz. Zzzzzzz.

    1. Think things could change for the better, do ya? Got a problem with how the Senate works? Well, I’m a cowboy, see, and if you don’t like it, why dontcha move to another country? USA: Love it as is or leave it! If it was good enuf 220 years ago, it’s good enuf now.

      Et cetera.

      Right. Very persuasive. Hell, we’ve known the sun rotates around earth since when, Ptolomy? Maybe time to move to a different planet! A different solar system! Leave this one as is, bein’ as how it works so well and all.

      Whatcha talkin’ ’bout, fly over country? I don’t getcha, buddy, who’s flyin’ over what?  

      1. Reactions to your notions that suggest you live on your very own planet, Farfuckinoutistan, are not really unique, JO.  One would say they are the norm.

        Constitution doesn’t provide for it. Then change the Constitution–or replace it if needed.

         Always, we come back to the one teeny problem with your plan to abolish the states.  They are the sole source for ratifying constitutional amendments.  Like the old recipe for rabbit stew — first catch the rabbit — they are the one essential your reverie overlooks.  

        1. Whadya think, New Testament or Old? Offer it to Muslims for the Revised and Expanded Quran at a discount? Seeing as how you’re the only one who ever read the Constitution an’ all. I could have sworn there was a clause that said, “Fuck this and start over again when necessary.” Maybe that was T Jefferson writing some crazy letter or essay or somesuch.

          We the People of 1789, in order to create a more perfect Union and dictate how things will be Forevermore, Immutable and Everlasting, other changes notwithstanding….

          PS1: Remind me, what clause of the Standardized Royal Charter authorized the American Revolution? Can’t seem to put my hands on the Articles of Confederation (1)–did they specify Philly for the Constitutional Convention? You’re right, I really am ignorant. Good thing someone has read the Constitution so that we’ll know what we’re allowed to do. Am I allowed to piss in the bushes?

          PS2 (and BTW): In my dictionary, “irony” is on page… well, let’s just say it’s before “sarcasm” and “unique” but after “feeble.”

          1. Including me, think that the Constitution has worked remarkably well since 1789.

            The fact that you don’t is your own personal aberration.

            If you want to eliminate States, go ahead and tilt at that windmill.

            Myself, I’m content to live in the United States of America.  If you’d rather live in the United Regional Administrative Districts of America, that’s your own personal business.

            But it doesn’t stop the rest of us from thinking that you’re weirder than shit.

            2. …including giving 500k Cowboys just as many votes (2) as 32,000k Californians … I take it?

              You say “the Constitution” has worked … ignoring the Civil War I suppose; does that mean you see nothing wrong with the government’s non-dealing with issues like energy, education, economic stagnation, concentration of wealth, etc. all through manipulation by reactionary Republicans in the Senate? It doesn’t happen in the House for a reason, and that reason is rooted in the institution of states.

              I don’t know what you mean when you say “the Constitution has worked remarkably well.” As opposed to what, the U.K.’s unwritten Constitution? Does that mean you think past is prescient, indefinitely? Does it mean you think no amount of social or economic change merits reexamination of how we govern ourselves?

              Is your motto “Resist Change”?

              “Most Americans” covers a mighty wide spectrum of knowledge and sophistication, at least as far as, say, from Manhattan to Union.

              Rejoice in the Mean at your party in, what is it, Grand Junction?

    1. I could respond by saying, “Nope, I’m not on commission.” No one on CP.com doesn’t care to endorse the idea, or even put forward a coherent counter-argument, so what?

      OR, I could say: Your question is a measure of the gap between your perceptions of this site and mine. Shortly after I first signed onto CP.com a few years ago, my perception was that it comprised two groups: “insiders” trading gossip about the latest fascinating moves inside the capitol (“Millie Midget has swapped desks with Oscar Overhausen”); and a second group, who gave a good impression of old white guys sitting around a rural Midwestern coffee shop with too much time on their hands and who treated the site rather like a form of Facebook with info like “I got a new dog last week,” or “I had a difficult experience, feel sorry for me.” Neither group appeared to have more than a couple dozen participants, all of whom were in love with themselves and each other, as well as proud to be beta users of Goggle’s Cliche Auto Generator software (with or without the fuck-shit extension).

      Enter a stranger, or a contrary opinion, and the keyboards were circled: “asshole,” “idiot,” “moron,” as well as the ever trusty “motherfuckeur” and its small handful of variants. You get the point; you are the point.

      I imagined there might be room to raise and discuss issues, large and small, at a time when there were–and still are–lots of signs that the country is going to hell in a handbasket. And, given the scale and scope of the problems faced, perhaps there would be some capacity for thinking outside the bun box.

      In that, I was mostly wrong — certainly as far as the Trusty Twelve self-adulators are concerned. Thinking outside the box is unheard of and entirely unwelcome whenever encountered. This isn’t just me, but others we could both name with opinions contrary to conventional thinking.

      So the short answer to your question is: “No, because I’ve come to know the audience–that audience, anyway.” If that’s all the audience there is, well, maybe something to think about after munching “turkey and gravy and all the fixin’s” and offering thanks that the indigenous peoples didn’t grasp the scope of the threat until it was too late.

        1. How’d you get to be the Arbiter of Good Ideas? Wish I’d taken that course. Or are you speaking from your experience as someone who’s had lots of ideas, good and otherwise? Sorry I came onto the site after you had stopped sharing them.

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