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December 04, 2019 03:28 PM UTC

Everybody Does Impeachable Things, Says Ken Buck

  • 6 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols
You’ll never catch me, logic!

Congressman Ken Buck (R-Greeley), who moonlights as the Colorado Republican Party Chairman (or vice-versa), has been struggling to come up with a coherent and consistent defense of President Trump in the face of mounting evidence for Trump’s impeachment. While Buck has been critical of the impeachment process and protective of President Trump, he also hasn’t bothered to actually attend most of the impeachment hearings to which he has been invited. After listening to Buck question witnesses on the first day of impeachment hearings in the House Judiciary Committee on Wednesday, it’s fair to argue that both he and Trump would have been better served in Buck’s absence.

In recent months Buck has offered various explanations for excusing Trump; he’s even been a public proponent of what has come to be called “The Sideshow Bob Defense,” which tries to excuse President Trump of wrongdoing based on the idea that his attempted bribery of Ukraine’s President didn’t work as intended. This is a particularly absurd defense from Buck; as a former prosecutor, he knows damn well that “attempted” robbery and “attempted” murder are criminal matters regardless of the outcome of the offense.

Buck took a different approach in his Trump defense on Wednesday, arguing that EVERY President — other than William Henry Harrison, who died 32 days into his first term in the White House — has committed what House Democrats would call an impeachable offense.

“The other three witnesses have identified this amorphous standard for impeaching a President,” said Buck in addressing Professor Jonathan Turley, the Republican-called legal/constitutional expert (CLICK HERE for the full clip of Buck’s ranting). Buck then listed off numerous “impeachable” offenses committed by everyone from Abraham Lincoln to Barack Obama. It was as if to say, Who among us hasn’t committed an impeachable offense?

Buck concluded with this perplexing high-horsed statement:

Now isn’t the difference, Professor Turley, that some people live in an ivory tower, and some people live in a swamp, and those of us that are in the swamp are doing our very best for the American people, but it’s not pretty.

Turley responded with an attempted joke about living in an ivory tower within a swamp. Immediately following this exchange, Rep. Karen Bass (D-Calif.) began her time at the microphone by saying, “I don’t believe the people’s house is a swamp.”

Social media users were equally perplexed with Buck’s line of questioning:

Fortunately for Buck and Trump, the Greeley Congressman wasn’t quite the disaster that he was when he was questioning Robert Mueller last summer. Instead of countering his own argument — which is what happened last July — Buck followed the script of his own version of a Chewbacca Defense.

To paraphrase the debate moderator character from the movie “Billy Madison,” everyone is now dumber for having listened to Ken Buck.

Comments

6 thoughts on “Everybody Does Impeachable Things, Says Ken Buck

    1. If so, I think Devin Noooooooooones already crossed that bridge when he kept saying that Dems want nude pictures of Trump. Dude.  NOBODY wants those, except for him, Lindsey Graham, and Nutlid.

  1. OK. Bucknutzo is wrong, and stupid, and lives in a swamp, but at least he’s consistent . . . 

    . . . I mean, R-E-C-A-L-L is really just impeachment spelled sorta’ sideways, probably after a couple cases of Bud, (and it’s only got 5 letters instead of 10, so there’s that benefit too, if your team’s made up of Moderati, or you live in a swamp . . . )

    — cuz’ those Democrats all did impeachable stuff, too, see?

    Plus, he lives in a swamp . . . a bachelor’s swamp, now . . . probably sorta’ a man-cavey swamp . . . but, it’s a swamp . . . and it’s his . . . with pictures cut out of magazines and scotch-taped to the walls, nice pictures, real American swamp pictures . . . and he lives in it, damnit . . . you ivory tower dwellers, you . . .

    I hate to say it, but Buck was better off, and less obvious an idiot before Shorty Fudd left him and returned to his beloved wascally melon safaris . . .

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