October 23, 2019 03:05 PM UTC

"We're Building a Wall in Colorado," Says President Trump

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• by: Colorado Pols

THURSDAY UPDATE: President Trump insists that his statement about “building a wall in Colorado” was just part of some hilarious joke that everybody else is too stupid to understand.

Kids, it’s OK to say, “I misspoke. I made a mistake.” https://t.co/Y5pgaOgI4t

— Marshall Zelinger (@Marshall9News) October 24, 2019

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UPDATE: Governor Jared Polis, for the win:

Well this is awkward …Colorado doesn’t border Mexico. Good thing Colorado now offers free full day kindergarten so our kids can learn basic geography pic.twitter.com/bEXLDJYUku

— Jared Polis (@GovofCO) October 23, 2019

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The actual President of the United States of America declared today that our great nation is building a wall in Colorado in order to…keep out New Mexico, or something.

President Trump was giving a speech in Pittsburgh at the Shale Insight Conference when he said the following (via CBS4 Denver):

“And we’re building a wall on the border of New Mexico and we’re building a wall in Colorado, we’re building a beautiful wall, a big one that really works that you can’t get over, you can’t get under and we’re building a wall in Texas. We’re not building a wall in Kansas but they get the benefit of the walls we just mentioned,” said Trump.

We’re assuming that Trump misspoke here, though there is a non-zero chance that the President of the United States believes Colorado shares a border with another country.

Trump actually isn’t the first Republican to suggest that Colorado wall itself off from the rest of America. In April 2018, a SuperPAC aligned with Republican gubernatorial candidate Walker Stapleton ran a television ad that implied that Stapleton supported building a wall here (the ad aired a few months after Stapleton’s campaign surveyed voters about the issue). Apparently we even made a “sharks in a moat” joke at the time — well before President Trump floated the idea of an alligator-infested moat at the border:

Do we start by walling off Wyoming and cutting the supply of illegal fireworks into Colorado? If we wall off New Mexico, can we add in a tunnel so that the flow of green chile is not interrupted? Do we need a little corner-sized piece of wall between Colorado and Arizona? Should plans for a wall include a moat with sharks in the water? (nevermind on that last one — obviously we need a shark-infested moat).

Trump’s “building a wall in Colorado” statement is getting a LOT of national press at the moment. So, yay for us!