Please Clap Vigorously While You Caption This Photo

Friday afternoon’s moment of unintended hilarity via the Colorado Republican Party’s Twitter account continues to make Colorado politics chuckle the Sunday after:

The first thing we’re obliged to note is that the photo you see above was voluntarily released into the wild by the official Twitter account of the state Republican Party–not a Democratic tracker, or anyone else looking to damage gubernatorial nominee Walker Stapleton. During Stapleton’s time as state treasurer and certainly in the limelight now as candidate for governor, the inability of photographers to capture a flattering likeness of Stapleton has become a consistent theme, but this pic is really especially bad. As for the photo’s caption celebrating “vigorous sustained applause” that you’ll have to take their word for, well…

All we can say is, whoever wrote that hackneyed crap had a priapism joke coming.

As for what Stapleton was saying in this picture to elicit all that vigorous sustained applause? Like the Photoshop-ready cutout above (right-click and “save image” to commence the fun), it’s whatever you want it to be.

8 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. Pseudonymous says:

    Wanted: Photoshop and something shaped like a dong.

  2. mamajama55 says:

    He's singing his version of "Do, Re Mi" from Sound of Music.

    Vote for me, please vote for me

    Cause it was my turn to runnnn.

    All my signatures are fine

    just ask Secretary Wayne

    I'll hold back the rampant gays

    Keep the potheads all in check

    Outlaw 'bortions in the state

    No pot in the chickens and

    Fracking in every backyard

    That will bring us back to

    STAPE el Ton, el ton el ton!

    Chorus: Vote for me, please vote for meeee, cause it was my turn to runnnn.

  3. Davie says:

    Walker is yodeling this song (courtesy of "Home on the Range" from Disney)

    There are crooks in this here West

    Who have claimed to be the best,

    And think they wrote the book on how to rustle.

    Well, as good as they may be,

    Not a one's as good as me,

    An' I barely have to move a single muscle!

    They call me mean, boys-

    Depraved and nasty too.

    And they ain't seen, boys,

    The cruelest thing I do:

    You see, I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle!

    The sweetest way of rustlin' yet devised!

    'Cause when I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle!

    Why, looky how them cows git hypnotized!

  4. JohnInDenver says:

    caption:  "Colorado Opera offered last-minute auditions to replace Simone Alberghini, the ailing baritone scheduled to play Count Almaviva. One prominent citizen, Walker Stapleton, stepped forward to help out the company."

    Alternatively, to use their tweet,

    Colorado Springs RepublicansOpera received ⁦@WalkerStapleton⁩ with vigorous sustained applause. The fanbase is overflowing with energy and excitement.

  5. Genghis says:

    "I cuts down trees, I wear high heels, suspendies and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa."

  6. unnamed says:

    The CO GOP twitter logo looks like Darth Vader's helmet if the helmet were white.

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