Please Clap Vigorously While You Caption This Photo

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by: Colorado Pols

Friday afternoon’s moment of unintended hilarity via the Colorado Republican Party’s Twitter account continues to make Colorado politics chuckle the Sunday after:

Colorado Springs Republicans received ⁦@WalkerStapleton⁩ with vigorous sustained applause. The base is overflowing with energy and excitement. #copolitics pic.twitter.com/OasTW4Qr9o

— The Colorado GOP (@cologop) July 13, 2018

The first thing we’re obliged to note is that the photo you see above was voluntarily released into the wild by the official Twitter account of the state Republican Party–not a Democratic tracker, or anyone else looking to damage gubernatorial nominee Walker Stapleton. During Stapleton’s time as state treasurer and certainly in the limelight now as candidate for governor, the inability of photographers to capture a flattering likeness of Stapleton has become a consistent theme, but this pic is really especially bad. As for the photo’s caption celebrating “vigorous sustained applause” that you’ll have to take their word for, well…

If “vigorous sustained applause” lasts more than three hours, please contact your physician. #copolitics https://t.co/1q2XAZCMtN

— Kyle Clark (@KyleClark) July 13, 2018

All we can say is, whoever wrote that hackneyed crap had a priapism joke coming.

As for what Stapleton was saying in this picture to elicit all that vigorous sustained applause? Like the Photoshop-ready cutout above (right-click and “save image” to commence the fun), it’s whatever you want it to be.

8 thoughts on “Please Clap Vigorously While You Caption This Photo”

Pseudonymous says:

July 15, 2018 at 1:06 pm

Wanted: Photoshop and something shaped like a dong.

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1. Pseudonymous says:
  
  July 15, 2018 at 1:10 pm
  
  That GOP tweet reads like North Korean propaganda. Compare it to this actual statement out of the DPRK:
  
  “Suddenly, the whole country is engulfed with happiness and the people endlessly inspired.”
  
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mamajama55 says:

July 15, 2018 at 1:40 pm

He's singing his version of "Do, Re Mi" from Sound of Music.

Vote for me, please vote for me

Cause it was my turn to runnnn.

All my signatures are fine

just ask Secretary Wayne

I'll hold back the rampant gays

Keep the potheads all in check

Outlaw 'bortions in the state

No pot in the chickens and

Fracking in every backyard

That will bring us back to

STAPE el Ton, el ton el ton!

Chorus: Vote for me, please vote for meeee, cause it was my turn to runnnn.

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1. davebarnes says:
  
  July 15, 2018 at 2:05 pm
  
  Awesome
  
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Davie says:

July 15, 2018 at 2:55 pm

Walker is yodeling this song (courtesy of "Home on the Range" from Disney)

There are crooks in this here West

Who have claimed to be the best,

And think they wrote the book on how to rustle.

Well, as good as they may be,

Not a one's as good as me,

An' I barely have to move a single muscle!

They call me mean, boys-

Depraved and nasty too.

And they ain't seen, boys,

The cruelest thing I do:

You see, I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle!

The sweetest way of rustlin' yet devised!

'Cause when I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle!

Why, looky how them cows git hypnotized!

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JohnInDenver says:

July 15, 2018 at 4:46 pm

caption: "Colorado Opera offered last-minute auditions to replace Simone Alberghini, the ailing baritone scheduled to play Count Almaviva. One prominent citizen, Walker Stapleton, stepped forward to help out the company."

Alternatively, to use their tweet,

Colorado ~~Springs Republicans~~Opera received ⁦@WalkerStapleton⁩ with vigorous sustained applause. The fanbase is overflowing with energy and excitement.

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Genghis says:

July 16, 2018 at 8:24 am

"I cuts down trees, I wear high heels, suspendies and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa."

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unnamed says:

July 16, 2018 at 8:48 am

The CO GOP twitter logo looks like Darth Vader's helmet if the helmet were white.

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