“Balloon Boy” Endnotes

Free-association tests worldwide associate the word “Colorado” with “Balloon Boy” today, something one can only pray will subside over time.

Because it’s not looking so good for the world-famous Heene family of Fort Collins, whose day yesterday went from bad to…well, we’re not sure what they were actually thinking through all of this, but the kid who didn’t fly 50 miles over eastern Colorado in a homemade balloon said something on CNN that has people wondering if it was all just a fabricated stunt on Larimer County Search and Rescue’s dime. That’s not very cool for all the millions of people who dropped what they were doing and glued themselves to the nearest television set yesterday.

And as cultural ambassadors for the great and tolerant state of Colorado, they’re not doing so well either. A rap video featuring the Henne children has surfaced, and, um, it’s kind of, well, horrifying:

That’s right, Dick Henne’s boys are not “pussified,” to the extent that around 2:55 they find a “faggot in a tree,” and the remedy for that little problem is to “pick up a rock and hit him in the cock.” Way to set our tourism desirability clock back to the ‘hate state’ Amendment 2 era. Oy vey.

As icky as teaching kids that kind of bigoted dreck will be to most people, there’s a simpler question about this incident Larimer County would like answered–that is, whether they need to send the Heenes a really large bill. Apparently they’ve brought in social services to make sure it’s not any worse than that, so let’s all regret having paid the attention we did to this, remind our out of state friends that they have throwback neighbors too, and never speak of it again.

19 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. Laughing Boy says:

    How awful.  The whole thing is so distasteful.

    I’ve always had a huge problem with that “Wife Swap” show.  Who would subject their children to some reality-show lunatic, even for a week or whatever.

    Ick.

  2. Canines says:

    Too pussified-sounding for these tykes.

    Wonder if social services will request a command performance?

  3. The realist says:

    might be more effective in slowing down these nutty parents than any assessment and safety plan the county social services folks might devise.  The parents are clearly very proud of their crazy lifestyle – and they don’t even seem to have the sense to tone things down a bit for the best interests of their children.  Interesting, too, that it’s been reported that there were three 911 calls (all hangups?) from their house this year.  One, in February I believe, led the responding deputy to conclude there MIGHT have been a domestic violence incident (possible injuries to mom), but no action was taken.

    Maybe, since the parents like reality shows so much, SuperNanny should come spend some time with them.  

  4. Leonard Smalls says:

    Seriously, I don’t even want to imagine the issues these kids are going to have as adults.

  5. sxp151 says:

    “and glued themselves to the nearest television set yesterday.”

    Good thing those people have learned their lesson and will never again fall for the dumbest of cheesy storylines that are clearly made up to elicit sympathy from whatever Pavlovian reflex those people imagine passes for emotions.

    Oh look, a white woman might have been eaten by a shark! I guess that’s also a good reason not to do anything today!

  6. parsingreality says:

    Besides honorariums for being on TV?

    OK, he’s a scientist.  Well, so am I if the criteria is a lifelong interest in the sciences.  

    I’ve not see one word on employment or other income streams. Since I don’t pay much attention to this kind of media frenzy, maybe I’ve just missed that info.  

  7. Pingback: It’s Playtime In Lauren Boebert’s House! - Static - Durango, CO

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