Not Safe For Work (Colorado Senate Excluded)

The best part is the science

mixed with a complaint of unwed mothers. Grandma doesn't know how babies are made.

I don't have one of those, but the rest seems familiar. She is aware that you need a bird and a bee for a baby.

ColoradoPols - A nice place where a slur is more offensive than the needless and random politicization of a minor's rape.

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by: droll @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 18:28:19 PM UTC

Good gracious...

This lady has spent a lot of time thinking about anal sex.  She probably has had to take it a few times.  She seemed as though she was speaking from experience.

OBR thinks that all people are created equally and that civil unions are ok.  I don't think that those unions should be called marriage, because marriage does have a definition, but everyone should have the right to love and commit to the ones they love with all of the rights that come with that.

This lady is a wacko.

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by: onebigrepublican @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 18:41:44 PM UTC

I think separate bu t equal isn't good enough.

The LGBTQI community should be able to call it marriage. I think we should get any and all religious groups out of a legal contract.  

We will go on forever because we are the people-John Steinbeck  

GOP looking for beat poets to discriminate against- paraphrased ArapoGOP

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by: Irish Patti @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 19:31:31 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Yes, Irish.

Especially your second sentence. And especially your first sentence.

...the water won't ever clear up until you get the hogs out of the creek...--Jim Hightower

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by: GalapagoLarry @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 21:47:32 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Grandma is gonna go viral!

luv it!!  She's a gift to everyone against right wing holier-than-thou family values nutjobs.  It's great when ignorance gets exposed ... hell better when the ignorants take the mic themselves.    

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by: VanDammer @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 18:51:38 PM UTC

Not going viral very fast

Just checked and only 300+ hits. Come on.  We can do better.

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by: BlueCat @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 19:57:05 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

It's already on Wonkette...

...with over 3700 views. Retweeted 16 times with 46 "likes" on Facebook.

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by: Pat Boon @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 20:27:09 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Are we SURE this isn't Sacha Baron Cohen filming a new movie?

Yet another self-parodying right winger.... someone more photoshop clever than me want to take a stab at getting a crazy screengrab we can all caption?

There once was a speaker named Frank
Asked to vote his conscience, he drew a blank
Bet it all to kill just one bill
Now, here's the word on the Hill:
This fall, Dems have the House in the tank.

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by: ProgressiveCowgirl @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 18:54:00 PM UTC

Joseph Stalin and tight sphincters

what else is there ?  She has all the bases covered.  My day is complete.

" I will always put Colorado families before the Washington special interests"

Cory Gardner (R-O&G)

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by: Fidel's dirt nap @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 19:01:06 PM UTC

The good news is for lesbians

Grandma should have no objections if we change to civil unions or marriage for boy/girl or girl/girl, right Grandma?

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by: BlueCat @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 19:52:24 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

as long as ...

those girls don't go allowing anything in the exit.

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by: MADCO @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 23:33:13 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

no suppositories, then?

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by: BlueCat @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 06:04:57 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

Uhhh.....

well, who am I to judge?

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by: MADCO @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 13:24:53 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

but coulda brought up Santorum

but that's a little too graphic for her

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by: VanDammer @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 22:47:31 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

She did.

"Sphincter."

...the water won't ever clear up until you get the hogs out of the creek...--Jim Hightower

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by: GalapagoLarry @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 00:30:12 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

I have theory that Sen. Steadman

must have gotten botox injections in his eyeballs to keep them from rolling into the back of his head. I don't know how else that man kept a straight face during all that testimony but, WOW!

"PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." - Mittens  

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by: shrubHugger @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 16:04:15 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Best story on hearing for SB 172

and Ellen Roberts vote is over at Colorado Independent written by John Tomasic.

http://coloradoindependent.com...

On Roberts:

She said the fact is gay couples in Colorado are sharing their lives and raising children and that the state presently fails to provide a legal framework that protects those citizens as partners and parents and their children in the case of divorce, death and injury.

Somehow that seems a lot more relevant than the unbelievably inane words of "Grandma."

If you're not upset, you haven't been paying attention.  Mike Littwin

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by: Ellie @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 19:05:40 PM UTC

I'm finding it hard to believe that ANY school system is teaching kindergarten kids how to have anal sex.

or how to be homosexuals or how to have vaginal or oral sex for that matter. Can Grandma provide us with copies of or a link to the relevant teaching materials?  

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by: BlueCat @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 19:15:18 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

All the material came from Charlie Sheen.

"Fuck it, let machines do the work"   plank in the Yippie Party platform, 1968

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by: allyncooper @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 20:29:59 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

That's why we need "reform", I guess.

n/t

Let's get Joe Miklosi elected in CD6. http://www.joemiklosi.com/inde...

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by: nancycronk @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 21:25:06 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Rosina Kovar needs to get a hobby.

One that doesn't involve obsessing about the anus and fortification.  

"I wouldn't characterize caloric intake as "professional development." c rork

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by: Middle of the Road @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 20:15:00 PM UTC

MOTR

did you mean to say "fortifying the anus against fornication?", or something like it?

I'm sorry, I can't support SB 172 unless there is an amendment banning Hugh Hefner from getting married to a 24 yo. But only because I'm jealous.  

"Fuck it, let machines do the work"   plank in the Yippie Party platform, 1968

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by: allyncooper @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 20:57:31 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Ha.

Good catch. :)

"I wouldn't characterize caloric intake as "professional development." c rork

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by: Middle of the Road @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 21:00:18 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Well, as I've heard many times....

Opinions are like assholes - everyone has one.

Speaking of anal pores, did Ted Haggart slither up from the Springs to testify what Jesus would think about SB 172 ?

"Fuck it, let machines do the work"   plank in the Yippie Party platform, 1968

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by: allyncooper @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 20:23:54 PM UTC

I wonder if she knows what a proctologist is

I don't think they covered that part in the bible.

" I will always put Colorado families before the Washington special interests"

Cory Gardner (R-O&G)

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by: Fidel's dirt nap @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 21:02:26 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

What's she doing in a Senate Committee hearing?

With an argument as well thought out as that, she should be going to the Supreme Court!  LOL

While you all have your circle jerk about the dangers of global warming and Buck's apostasy - NO ONE ELSE CARES. - 20th Maine

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by: Cordelia Chase @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 20:25:22 PM UTC

It was so much worse than this. She went on for about 8 minutes.

Someone didn't set the timer when she started and five minutes into it, she asked, "How much longer do I have?" We all cringed when the timekeeper turned the timer on for the 3 minutes she was supposed to have.

I also enjoyed the (ordinary) people who said they were there representing Jesus Christ or Joseph Ratzinger. There really was a representative there from the Catholic Church archdiocese, but he didn't say Jesus or the Pope sent him.

Also loved the one who came there to warn us proponents of our sins "out of love". Guess he didn't realize we were gay and straight together, in alliance. His truck outside was pretty interesting: a large billboard truck (Vegas-style) that said "Gays will burn in Hell".

I may be a Jew, but something tells me Jesus would not approve of the hate-mobile. Just a hunch.

Let's get Joe Miklosi elected in CD6. http://www.joemiklosi.com/inde...

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by: nancycronk @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 21:23:51 PM UTC

Obviously a horny grandma.

She knew all her preacher friends would be turned on by her "dirty talk".

...the water won't ever clear up until you get the hogs out of the creek...--Jim Hightower

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by: GalapagoLarry @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 21:52:35 PM UTC

I'm just glad the Senate was able to have such an expert on what an anus is for speak to them.

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by: The Bob Hatter @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 22:23:06 PM UTC

the takeaway message here

is that we all keep our minds and anuses sufficiently closed Jesus will take care of the rest.

" I will always put Colorado families before the Washington special interests"

Cory Gardner (R-O&G)

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by: Fidel's dirt nap @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 23:17:52 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Or not, as the case may be.

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by: MADCO @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 23:31:55 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

Wait..haven't we heard this script before.

So, the logic is - if we don't allow gay marriage or civil unions, somehow, no one will have anal sex?    But if we do allow gay marriage or civili unions, then suddenly everyone will start having anal sex?

Well, ok, not everyone, just the men.

I can't take this seriously- except that it is serious.
But it's not about sex.
It's not about what you do or don't like when it comes to sex.

It's about civil rights and equality under the law for everyone.

...truths... self-evident,...all... created equal, ... endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights..  life, liberty ... pursuit of Happiness.

Or something.

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by: MADCO @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 23:31:26 PM UTC

"The anus is an exit."

Isn't the vagina an exit too?

Until it's not, of course.

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by: MADCO @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 23:35:28 PM UTC

+1

This woman's poor grandchildren will need to change their names and leave the state.

"Hey, I saw your grandma on Perez Hilton!"

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by: kewl @ Tue Mar 08, 2011 at 23:44:50 PM UTC

[ Parent ]

"The anus is an exit."

Also until it's not, of course.

...the water won't ever clear up until you get the hogs out of the creek...--Jim Hightower

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by: GalapagoLarry @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 00:35:12 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

But the vagina doesn't have a tight sphincter

Which God put there to say, "Keep Out!"

History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.  (Mark Twain)

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by: PERA hopeful @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 03:32:21 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

Odd - you say potato

I say, something else entirely.

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by: MADCO @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 04:05:55 AM UTC

[ Parent ]

Oh look! I thought it was maybe too taunty!

I had made a comment this morning on this vid's appearance in that one mysterious n*wsp*p*r, but it didn't show up and I thought I'd been spurned. Happily, no!

Quoting me: "I wonder if her neighbors think it's strange that she always goes in her house via the front door, but only leaves from the back door? Oh, wait, she enters and exits from the SAME door??? SINNER!"

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by: NeonNurse @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 02:54:14 AM UTC

Well, for those who chronically have their head up their ass,

such as the featured speaker in this case, the anus has to do double duty as both an exit and an entry.

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by: Voyageur @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 19:43:48 PM UTC

And a hat

This is serious, you commie dolt  --davebarnes, 2012.

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by: Ralphie @ Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 19:51:38 PM UTC

[ Parent ]