July 26, 2017 12:55 PM UTC

The Nuge Endorses George Brauchler

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• by: Colorado Pols

As Westword’s Michael Roberts reports, GOP gubernatorial candidate George Brauchler has caught the Cat Scratch Fever! And no, we don’t mean toxoplasmosis:

Rocker and gun lover Ted Nugent has waded into the 2018 race for Colorado governor, Facebook-posting an endorsement of 18th Judicial District DA George Brauchler, who’s best known nationally for having prosecuted the Aurora theater shooting case. As the Nuge sang on the 1977 hard-rock classic album Cat Scratch Fever, “Wang dang sweet poontang!”

…This isn’t the first time Nugent has thrown his support behind a Colorado gubernatorial candidate. You may recall that in 2014 Nugent displayed his fondness for then-candidate Tom Tancredo by authorizing a fundraising letter in which donors were entered into a contest for a new AR-15. And while the George Brauchler for Colorado Facebook page shared word of Nugent’s endorsement, its introduction suggests strongly that the candidate was as surprised as anyone by the recommendation, which was accompanied by a donation link.

“Well, this was a bit unexpected,” it notes, “but clearly sportsmen and Second Amendment supporters everywhere agree: George Brauchler for governor!!”

Unexpected, but warmly accepted! Roberts was kind enough to post Ted Nugent’s endorsement of George Brauchler in its entirety, bizarre typos and all:

Dear conservative God in heaven! There is constitutional we the people hope for Colorado to come out of this embarrassing antiAmerican political tailspin. It is time to make Colorado Colorado again and we finally have the right man to get it done!

For all my gunloving, backstrap rockin real American shitkicker BloodBrothers in Colorado, check out George Brauchler for Governor. As Arapahoe District Attorney, he prosecuted the Aurora monster and knows full well that more gunlaws wouldn’t have made a damn difference in any democrat gunfree slaughtetzone! In fact, like the rest of us, he knows that creating a gunfreezone at the theater made those poor people targets. And he fully supports conceal carry training and the right to carry because it reduces crime…dramatically. Sounds like help is on the way for Colorado thanks to Brauchler. And I just heard that he won the conservative summit straw poll bigtime! Godbless Brauchler and show him your support! It’s time that the good people of Colorado get their state back!

Okay all you “gunloving, backstrap rockin real American shitkicker BloodBrothers,” time to sign up for Team Brauchler! Except for fans of The Nuge’s hit song Jailbait:

Well I don’t care if you’re just thirteen
You look too good to be true
I just know that you’re probably clean
There’s one lil’ thing I got do to you

On second thought, maybe the Arapahoe County DA should have politely declined.