August 06, 2008 12:25 AM UTC

(Don't) Hold the Poop and Pee

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• by: Colorado Pols

Glad we got this cleared up. As the Rocky Mountain News reports:

Poo and pee dominated a public hearing Monday on a new law that prohibits people from carrying certain items if they intend to use them for nefarious purposes.

The law, crafted in advance of the Democratic National Convention, was adopted unanimously by the City Council.

But not before a hearing laced with comedy and profanity.

Representatives from some of the groups planning large-scale protests during the DNC this month said the ordinance was unnecessary and accused city officials of fear mongering.

“The intent of this ordinance is to try to smear protesters and make them look as if they are somehow criminal or somehow going to engage in some kind of gross conduct,” said Glenn Spagnuolo, an organizer with the Re- create 68 Alliance.

The ordinance makes it illegal to carry certain items, such as chains, padlocks, carabiners and other locking devices. It also prohibits the possession of noxious substances. Two of the most frequently used examples of a noxious substance are a bucket of urine and a “feces bomb.”[Pols emphasis]

Police have to prove that people carrying such items intend to use them to block public access or emergency equipment or to thwart crowd control measures.

Safety Manager Al LaCabe said the law will be applied in situations when certain items are going to be used in a disruptive way. He said officers will consider the totality of the circumstances.

There could certainly be some interesting discussions in light of the last two paragraphs above. If a police officer sees someone carrying a large bag of “poo or pee,” that person is going to have to convince the officer that they don’t have any bad intentions with their poo. However, we’d certainly be curious to hear what someone carrying a bag of shit had to say about their intentions if they were not meant to be harmful.

“Excuse me, sir, but where are you going with that bag full of poo?”

“Well, officer, I was just on my way to a friend’s house to watch the baseball game.”

“Oh, well in that case, carry on.”