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December 16, 2021 04:21 AM MST

Polis 'Is Not Even Gay' & His Wedding Was 'All a Sham,' Baselessly Claims GOP Gov. Candidate

  • by: Michael Lund

(Now THAT’S a new angle — Promoted by Colorado Pols)

At a campaign meet-and-greet event in Cañon City Monday night, Republican candidate for Colorado governor Danielle Neuschwanger launched into a monologue, filled with false accusations about Democratic Gov. Jared Polis, saying he “is not gay” and that his marriage to Marlon Reis “is a sham.”

An audio recording provided by an attendee documents Neuschwanger’s remarks on a wide range of topics, including the corrupt culture of campaigns, lawsuits against the state over mandates, “crazy” GOP constituents, a legislative candidate advocating to “ban the gays” and gay adoption, government secrets about the JFK assassination, and rival Republican gubernatorial candidates. She also delivered a derisive dismissal of the conservative training and candidate development program, Leadership Program of the Rockies.

Toward the end of her comments, Neuschwanger said, “You guys want to know something crazy about Polis? He’s not even gay.”

“I didn’t know any of this until, like, we got involved in politics,” she continued. “So, his real name is Jared Schutz, and he was married to a woman, who he used to abuse the heck out of.

“So he was starting to get involved in politics in the early 2000s, you know, running for Congress and the Department of Health and Education. … [Four Democratic strategists/donors, which include Polis] all got together, pooled their money, and said they could flip Colorado from red to blue. In order to do that, though, they had to reach out to specific groups, like the gays. Well, Tom [sic] Gill was already a well known gay activist, and so they figured out the way to get the gays in Colorado was to have someone run for governor who is gay. So, right before this happened, they told Jared Polis he had to get divorced.

“But then he sexually assaulted a female colleague, hence, the name change to Jared Polis.

“Well, everyone said, when he was running for governor, no one knew he was gay. But all of a sudden, right before he won, he came out as the first Jewish gay guy in Colorado. He’s not actually gay! So then, they bring in Marlon — and, you know, have you ever seen him and Marlon have public displays of affection, hold hands, kiss, hug? [parroting an a person in the audience] No one sees Marlon very often. So, his mailman is a gay. And his state trooper/head of security is not a fan of Jared Polis. So they sneak prostitutes in and out of his apartment in Boulder all the time, and they have swingers’ parties and all kinds of things. He’s not gay! When we heard this, I was like, ‘You’re kidding me!’

“He’s Gavin Newsom’s cousin. … And he became a native of Colorado. He is not a native, he was born in California. [Responding to, ‘Is he Pelosi-related?’ from the audience], Yes, yeah. [‘Is he Soros funded?’] Yeah, so Jena Griswold and Polis both — if you go on their TRACER account– have funds donated by [unintelligible]!

“But, it gets even better: his whole marriage to Marlon was supposed to be part of his reelection campaign in Colorado, but COVID shut it down, hence they only did that little private ceremony when Biden was out so that they could time Biden’s sensationalized media when he came to Colorado to be at Polis’ wedding. And they never even kissed at their wedding. It’s all a sham.”

When contacted for comment, Neuschwanger provided the following statement to the Colorado Times Recorder:

“I stand by this statement in its entirety. As I mentioned I have never been in politics and didn’t know any of this information, never even thought to ever ask these types of questions until I started campaigning. … The truth is that we have been told this numerous times across the state from people who are on both party fences and know Polis personally.

“Now as rumors go, we all know they stem from a kernel of the truth and the correlation to the Rocky Mountain Heist Documentary, relations to Newsom, and Soros can easily be proven. However, I am also not a politician and so if Gov Polis would like to make a public statement to set the record straight surrounding this mysterious personal rumor, and in fact any of these comments made by me are false; well I have no problem making a public correction and apology.

“However Polis has disappointed me in the fact that as the Nations first gay Governor I feel that he has dropped the ball tremendously for the gay community, especially in relation to the increasing gay suicides that occur in our community. Now I am probably the black sheep of the Republican Party because I do openly support the LGBTQ community but this has been a hot topic for me. Therefore is this was all a scheme to get elected, well he has some explaining to do and he should be held accountable for those falsehoods.

“I think like many Coloradoans were taken off guard with his personal sexual orientation last go around, there are many questions that voters want answered and many conspiracy theories that we would like squashed. I’m open to having a discussion about what his story really is and setting the record straight, even if I’m wrong.”

While Neuschwanger’s criticisms in Cañon City attacked people and issues associated with both major political parties, Polis was the primary target of Neuschwanger’s criticisms, “I really want to put him in a jail cell,” she said.

Later, Neuschwanger told the gathering that her speeches focus on positive language, serving to motivate folks.

Governor Polis’ office declined to comment on Neuschwanger’s remarks from the Cañon City event.

A native Coloradan, Neuschwanger was born in Greeley and raised in Longmont. On her website, she proudly embraces her role in the governor’s race as an outsider and businesswoman, having no experience in politics as an elected official.

Currently, Neuschwanger works as a realtor at the company she founded. She has a professional background in criminal justice, training for first responders, and emergency management.

When asked who won the presidential election of 2020 by an attendee at the Cañon City event, Neuschwanger responded that Donald Trump prevailed, noting that secretaries of state from some states, Dominion Voting Systems, as well as China and Russia had roles in hacking the results, and contributed to stealing the election for President Joe Biden.

Listen to an audio recording of Neuschwanger’s remarks about Gov. Polis, using the SoundCloud player below:


31 thoughts on “Polis ‘Is Not Even Gay’ & His Wedding Was ‘All a Sham,’ Baselessly Claims GOP Gov. Candidate

  1. Damn. That's a new level of crazy. Does the Colorado GOP now screen candidates by a minimum level of batshittery? Apparently, Neuschwanger was too nutty even for the Leadership Program of the Rockies! And Schume Navarro is an alum. 

    She's using the Former Guy tactic: "Some people" repeat all these crazy rumors (Polis isn't gay, he abused an ex-wife, has swinger parties, etc). Polis must respond to these rumors that "some people" believe!!

    And then there's "I'm not a politician". Is that a license to make shit up?

    Neuschwanger is also following the Boebert model of getting press – if crazy lite doesn't get the clicks, then go to CRAZY DEFCON 5!!

    I know Polis doesn't want to be bothered. or give her attention by responding. But I think he should sue for slander.



    1. "Does the Colorado GOP now screen candidates by a minimum level of batshittery?"

      You say that as though they should screen to exclude the nut jobs. 

      I think it is becoming a prerequisite to be considered as a candidate.

      Remember Dan Maes and those UN-conspiracy bicycles……

    2. I’m with you up to “I think he should sue for slander.” I think Marlon ought to be the one to sue her. I’m also having difficulty believing she was born here.“I think like many Coloradoans were taken off guard…” Natives only say “Coloradoans” when referring to the Ft. Collins newspaper.

    3. Polis suing would run into several problems.

       * the trial will not cause the statement to be withdrawn — it would only continue forcing it into public discourse as the trial coverage went on.

       * Polis is undeniably a "public figure" … so he would have to prove "actual malice," that Neuschwnager knows something is false and is pushing it anyway, or that she is beyond the realm of plausibility and has avoided the usual steps to investigate the claims. 

       * Even if Polis could show the statement is false and that Ms. N is acting on malice, he would also need to show measurable damages to be compensated for.  I have no idea what sort of damage there is about being "outed" as heterosexual or benefiting from pandering from paid sex work.  It doesn't seem to have impacted Trump, after all.  I can't imagine such statements will damage his financial position.  It certainly will not impact his salary. 

      Short version … suing would be more trouble than it could possibly be worth.

  2. They are a real family. Anybody who claims otherwise has never spent time with them.

    This is not just offensive (and stupid) it is utterly oblivious to reality.

    What an idiot. If she said birds aren’t real, that would make more sense than this crap.

      1. Me too…..

        My guess would be that she saw an old movie called I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry in which Kevin James and Adam Sandler, two heterosexual firefighters in New York, pretended to be a gay couple for the domestic partner benefits. 

        Does anything that any of these crackpots say or do today have to have any connection with reason or rationality?


  3. Wow! Hmmmmm . . .

    . . . I think we just may need a pfruit expert to help on this:

    • should this be seen as very good news — that the GOP batshittery supply chain is clearly functioning at full bore?

    • Or, should this be seen as very bad news — as to current unsustainably high levels of GOP batshittery hyperinflation?

  4. Against my better judgment (I get pissed when I see people I care for get attacked), I put the following on her page:


    There are certain lines of utterly making shit up you just don’t cross. Not just if you want to be taken seriously, but also if you don’t want people to think you are a flaming jerk.

    You decided to strap a rocket to your back and fly across those lines. You impugned not just Jared, and not just his spouse, but also his two kids. And based only on rumors you claim you heard. Apparently, the Reagan expression of “trust, but verify” never occurred to you.

    So why? Not because you believe any of the crap you got quoted on. And not because you wanted to engage in a dirty campaign to win a race (as you’d have a better shot of winning the lottery). So what does that leave? Because you are crazy and are making a cry for help/attention.

    Drop this crap, apologize, and seek the treatment you desperately need.

    1. “There are certain lines of utterly making shit up you just don’t cross”

      That ship sailed in 2015, struck and iceberg, sunk to the bottom of the ocean, and many lives were lost.

      Let’s take a walk down memory lane.

      1. Mexico sends all its murders, rapists, and drug dealers into the US.

      2. John McCain was not a hero because he got caught.

      3. Ted Cruz’ father was complicit in the JFK assassination per National Enquirer.

      4. The National Enquirer is an underrated newspaper.

      And that was just in 2015-2016. I won’t even get started on the Clorox and UV light bulbs as an effective antidote to COVID-19. Or Stop the Steal. Or Jewish Space Laser. Or the entire Q-anon shit.

      Calling Jared Polis a closet heterosexual pretending to be gay (for what, all the cash and prizes?) who staged a hoax marriage to a man is ridiculous but not any further out of line than any the other crap we see and hear.

    2. Nice!  I'm glad your judgement got ahead of your better judgement this time.

      In my experience with MSU folks, as a general rule, about the only group that comes close to politicians is, maybe, realtors. Completely batshit crazy Republicans, who I fortunately ever have little contact with, are in a whole nuther class by themselves.

      Neuschwanger is a clear stand out in the intersection of that three-set Venn diagram.

    3. Well said, EF.  Just an edit that takes out the one sentence about Jared and this response will apply to every GOPer today, including all those who think the election was stolen.

  5. Wow! I have lived long enough to go full circle. When I was a queer kid living in the hinterlands, the worst thing that could have happened was people label me as being queer.

    Now it has become an insult to say someone isn't. 

  6. She claims she supports the LGBTQ community, but she referred to "the gays" multiple times like they're something she might find on the bottom of her shoe rather than people.

  7. You've almost gotta feel bad for old school Republicans. The party leadership spent decades courting and inviting in every booger-eating loon they could find, a bunch of said loons accepted the invitation, and now the lunatics run the asylum.

    1. Yeah, not so much. They asked for this. They accumulated every level of extremist dating back to the Confederacy apologists to the Moral Majority mega-church grifter followers on through to QAnon. In return they've had more than their fair share of influence over decades.

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