Make Peace With Your Maker By Saturday?

As the Colorado Independent’s Joseph Boven reports:

The rise of gay pride is a sign delivered by God that the end of the world will begin in just a few short days on May 21. At least that is the prophecy of former Coloradan Harold Camping, the 89-year-old founder, president, and general manager of the radio network Family Stations Inc., the network that launched the end-of-world-campaign.

Christian Gay and lesbian groups say they aren’t so sure, and a professor at Iliff School of Theology says the claim that the world will end as the result of God’s wrath on a particular group of people transforms the end of the world prediction from a humorous story to a very dangerous one.

“No sign is as dramatic and clear as the phenomenal world-wide success of the Gay Pride movement,” Camping states in his online essay Gay Pride: Planned by God as a Sign of the End…

It is a message that meets with some skepticism within the gay community.

“We do not share this view of the rapture,” Karen Barr, moderator at the Christian organization Gay, Lesbian, & Affirming Disciples Alliance, Inc., said. “It is a modern invention that does not reflect the whole of the teaching of Jesus. We do believe that a world where people of all gender and sexual identities are welcomed, valued, and enjoy the same rights and responsibilities is a reflection of the values held in the heart of God as evidenced by the life and teachings of Jesus.”

We suppose that if the world does end this weekend, it really doesn’t make any difference whose fault it might be, does it? And if the world does not end, does that mean that Camping will admit that maybe God isn’t mad at homosexuals after all?

We’ve not heard from former Rep. Jim Welker, or incumbent Sen. Scott Renfroe, two Colorado politicos on the record with at least some equation of gay rights and mortal sin–so we can’t tell you with any certainty what their plans for Saturday might be. But if any of you out there are not sure how you’d like to dispose of your earthly belongings before then, send us an email and we can probably make that the least of your worries.

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  1. ellbee says:

    Geez, that shows how much I know – I thought the fact that the Canucks are six wins away from the Stanley Cup was the reason for God’s anger.

  2. droll says:

    Apparently God works in mysterious, very slow ways. #ThoseGayLionsAreFirstToBurn

  3. SSG_Dan says:

    …I’m pulling out all the old clothes that don’t meet my spec for the DAV store, and I’m going to lay them out on the ground very early in the morning.

    I wonder what will happen if some True Believer walks around the corner and thinks he missed the Big Rapture Recall?

  4. MADCO says:

    I was raised in Chrisitian church that didn’t spend any time talking about the “rapture” – pretty sure we never used the word.

    If you believe the rapture is real, whether it could be calculated or known, whether Campion has it or not, could the rise of gay civil rights or gay really be the precursor? The causal or foretelling event?

    • Craig says:

      To suggest they know when the second-coming will occur or what reason God will have for the timing is simply ridiculous.  The early Christians thought is would happen while they were alive.  We know that wasn’t true.  As Christian believers, we can only say that it will happen some time and that we need to be prepared every day, not just when some nut job blasphemer says he knows what’s going on.  This man has been captured in a plot by the devil to destroy the church in the modern world.  It’s part of the same plot that has brought Church organizations into the political arena.

      You may be LOL, but actually, I’m no crank and this is what I believe.

      • ScottP says:

        That is the sanest talk from someone who believes in the rapture that I’ve ever heard. Well done! No LOLZ here, just respect.

      • MADCO says:

        I recall clearly the first time someone told me, and then tried to convince me with a straight face that there were dinosaurs on Noah’s arc.

        And the first time I heard other stories from believers.

        Are there believers who really believe gay pride is the problem?

        Whether we can know or not know the time and method. Whether it’s going to happen or not.  Whether it’s what God means to occur or not.  

        You believe any belief about God’s motive or timing is simply ridiculous.  

        Except you also seem to believe it (rapture) will happen. That Campion is just a tool/agent of the devil, part of a plot to “destroy the church.”

        • droll says:

          The reason gay pride is the problem, as opposed to homosexuality in general or any of the terrible things people do to people, is because as a cultural it’s the only “sin” we embrace. You kill, you gamble away your house and childrens’ food, you cheat on your spouse, you wear to much tacky clothing, and people do not applaud you for it. You wouldn’t hold a special event to let the world know.

          Or something.

          *A little background on me: I’m Jewish, my mother’s brother was “born again” and works for Focus. My grandmother’s third husband, who we were close with, was also a born again Christian, an Independent Baptist. My aunt and uncle think this guy has the day wrong, but I’d still better watch out (they have some great contradictions for Jews). My granddad would be grooming himself and praying right now. I don’t know much about Christianity, but I do know crazy in the name of poor Jesus.

          They would say that you don’t know the motive or timing because you aren’t close enough to Jesus. ‘Cause if you’re going for nutzoid, arrogance should be a given. Don’t point out what Jesus might think of that, you’re just a pissant sinner who doesn’t understand! #StillDon’tPointItOut

          • MADCO says:

            Well, then shouldn’t the end of slavery, or the Civil Rights movement, or even the preotestant reformation or the Anglo schism, or any of a hundred other “sins” that are generally celebrated?

            Of course, the protestant reformation is the root cause of all this interpretation, reinterpretation and etc.

            But I see your point.

            Yes, there is murder. Yes, there is sin.

            But we aren’t proud of it.

    • Just the Bible-thumping, burn-in-Hell ones.

      I know that growing up in my church, the entire Book of Revelation was pretty much off-limits for any kind of discussion on account of the curse at the end.  Perhaps a passage might be read, but it usually stood on its own.

      Gay pride, last I checked, isn’t one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

  5. Whiskey Lima JulietWhiskey Lima Juliet says:

    Sinners Only.  Raputre at 1:20PM, Party begins at 4:30PM.  Be there or be Christian!

  6. ProgressiveCowgirlProgressiveCowgirl says:

    I wouldn’t have skipped PrideFest last year.

  7. Arvadonian says:

    if these kooks are so sure that the world is going to end, I would challenge them to sell all of their worldly posessions and give everything away since they will not be needing it come Sunday.  If they are not willing to do this, then obviously they have no faith.

    • raymond1 says:

      They shouldn’t need to “sell” their things because they’ll have no use for money after 5/21.  Just leave the front door open as of 11:59 pm on 5/20 so that you, I, and all the other sinners left behind can drown our sorrows by taking their X-boxes and Tae-Bo DVDs.

      • droll says:

        A hammer makes more sense.

        All joking aside, ardy39 is right, some people really do start selling things, even their homes. There are Christian groups trying to counter the “prophecy” because they are afraid of mass suicides. Seriously. Especially if you know someone prone to depression who may have seen this as a way out, check on them.

      • Diogenesdemar says:

        You have to sell.

        #1.  As any true believer will tell you, Jesus was a both a capitalist and a huge supporter of American free enterprise.  Don’t believe me, then ask Beej.

        #2.  After you sell (as God intends), you take all that money and give it immediately and withou any further though to the church.  Any clergy worth their prayer cloths will tell you that’s exactly how you lay up treasure in heaven, construct your eternal mansion, and ensure some huge everlasting reward points.  Don’t delay, this is truly a limited time offer.

    • ardy39 says:

      According to a story in the GJ Sentinel (subscription required).

  8. Dan WillisDan Willis says:

    I have a book due to be released on Monday. (info on my web site for those interested)

  9. ArapaGOPArapaGOP says:

    Do you have any proof that Renfroe or even Welker are buying into this ridiculousness?

    Whatever. I’ll take earthly belongings too, and I’ll turn them into profits instead of charity. Thanks in advance!

  10. GalapagoLarryGalapagoLarry says:

    would he please give us a prettier parade?

  11. Barron X says:

    .

    homosexuality, which has been around for many centuries, is finally pissing God off so much that He’s going to end the world, perhaps like He did to Sodom and Gomorrah,

    but

    events of the last century, including genocide, infanticide, war as a reelection gambit, the mass murder of nearly 100 million in the last 70 years,

    God is OK with that ?

    Is there anyone who can negotiate with God the way Abraham did to save us ?

    .

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