Top Stories of 2010 #10: Dan Maes Discovers The Horrible Truth

Kicking off our recap of the year’s biggest stories in Colorado politics is, naturally, the unlikeliest Republican nominee in the state’s history, Dan Maes. Of course, Maes’ discovery of the “horrible truth” could describe a number of events on the long campaign trail: that journalists actually check out the fictitious bios posted on one’s website, that campaigning involves more than filling your gas tank, and (related to the previous) there are limits on what you can reasonably reimburse yourself for–you should not expect campaign contributions to supply you with a personal income in excess of what you were making before you ran. That looks kind of, well, bad.

But on the way to Maes’ 11% slaughter in the general election, he did manage to perform one very important public service–his prescient warning that the Denver B-Cycle bike sharing program is, in fact, a “very well-disguised” strategy by the United Nations to assault American freedom. TPM reported in early August:

…Maes, a Tea Party friendly candidate facing former Rep. Scott McInnis in the August 10 Republican primary, has come out against a public bicycle program run by the city of Denver. Denver’s mayor, John Hickenlooper, is the presumptive Democratic nominee, and a cycling supporter.

“This is all very well-disguised, but it will be exposed,” Maes said at a small campaign rally last week, according to the Post. “These aren’t just warm, fuzzy ideas from the mayor. These are very specific strategies that are dictated to us by this United Nations program that mayors have signed on to.”

Well, folks, if there’s one thing you need to know about the at-large citizenry of Denver, Colorado, it’s this: they don’t take subversive plots by world government supervillains lying down. Just a couple of weeks after Maes won the GOP primary over scandal-plagued candidate Scott McInnis, the Denver Cruisers spontaneously organized a bicycle-borne mock invasion of the streets of downtown Denver by hundreds of blue-helmeted stormtroopers–like the scary fellow at right.

On the other hand, there were some indications (left) that the Denver Cruisers were merely having some fun at Mr. Maes’ expense, and really weren’t taking Maes’ warnings of imminent capitulation to the U.N.’s evil agenda, you know, seriously.

So we, like everyone else, are left to ask the question: was it the warning about the “U.N. bicycle plot” that pushed Maes out of the realm of viable candidates, and into joke territory? Probably not–much of the exposure of Maes as a clueless, two-bit fraud, running for Governor more or less because he couldn’t hold down a regular job, had already happened by this time.

But it was a great moment to stop and revel in the absurdity to which this election had descended.

0 Shares

21 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. sxp151 says:

    I was reading and paying attention on this site around that time, and all of a sudden Maes went from serious to joke. And it wasn’t the site editors (who also thought Tipton was a joke to lesser effect). Just somehow everyone concluded Maes was not a serious candidate at once, and it seemed like this happened well before the bicycle story but somewhat after the mileage reimbursement story. I was never sure quite what did it, but it seemed like the worst thing to happen to Maes was winning the primary.

  2. Diogenesdemar says:

    He was the perfect example that, in America like nowhere else on this planet, even a nobody can aspire to somday become a has-been.

    (Most notable was the way that Dan was able to accomplish that feat in just one summer.)

  3. bjwilson83 says:

    It is a real program, designed to green up the world.

    http://www.iclei.org

    http://www.icleiusa.org

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I

    There’s just no way you can deny the U.N. is trying to exert influence over local communities.

    Dan Maes did have one redeeming accomplishment; he saved the GOP from minor party status.

  4. Cordelia Chase says:

    The bicyles are gone now – I have not seen them at the regular places.  Does that mean Dan Maes saved us and the UN is not running Denver, or that the takeover by the UN was successful?  

    The whole Dan Maes thing was my favorite story of the year – everyone though it was just the most silly thing they had ever heard.  Many were a-maes-ed that he was really the Republican candidate for office.  

Leave a Reply

Comment from your Facebook account


You may comment with your Colorado Pols account above (click here to register), or via Facebook below.