Cory Gardner: COVID Tests With Every Big Gulp!

Sen. Cory Gardner (R).

Conservative sort-of news outlet Washington Times put up a story yesterday after interviewing Sen. Cory Gardner on the federal government’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic. We’re obliged to use the word “interview” loosely in this case, since it’s tough to call this anything close to incisive or informative.

In fact, it almost seems like it was written on another planet:

Sen. Cory Gardner, Colorado Republican, on Thursday said in an ideal world, a reopening of the country would be accompanied by coronavirus testing that’s so prevalent people can grab one at a 7-Eleven store or in a first-aid kit at an office.

“Testing absolutely is key here,” Mr. Gardner said on “Fox & Friends.” “I’d like to see testing so ubiquitous going forward that you can go buy your Big Gulp at 7-Eleven, and you can get your COVID-19 test at the same time.” [Pols emphasis]

“That every business has in their first-aid kit a COVID-19 test so if they have an employee who has a sore throat, they’re able to go get that … within a matter of minutes, they get results,” he said…

COVID-19 tests at 7-Eleven! Get one with your Big Gulp! Honestly, who on earth would oppose this? It’s a captivating notion, and sure–that would go a long way toward helping reopen the country.

The problem, of course, is that there is no plan in place by the federal government or anywhere else we know of to provide COVID-19 tests at 7-Eleven, or anything like that level of ubiquity. There’s a growing recognition here in Colorado and across the nation that a lack of testing availability on the scale needed to control the spread of the pandemic on an individual level–which is crucial to safely reopening the economy–simply does not exist.

It seems outlandish until you realize that this is part of a pattern for Cory Gardner on a range of issues from health care to immigration: rhetoric that nobody can really disagree with, but which has no factual relationship to what’s actually happening on the issue. Gardner wanted “better health care” than the Affordable Care Act, but never came up with a plan other than just repealing the ACA. Gardner wanted immigration reform, except when an actual bill was on the table.

In a crisis like the present, Gardner’s reality-disconnected freewheeling rhetoric does real harm by creating an unrealistic expectation of imminent progress. That’s not much different from promising the voters to “repeal and replace” Obamacare over the course of numerous election cycles and never delivering either–but it seems worse to be doing this now.

At long last, can Cory Gardner not just be honest?

6 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. bullshit! says:

    Peel a COVID test and win! You may already be a winner!

    Do you get an over the counter IUD with it and free installation?

  2. JohnInDenver says:

    I'm expecting the COVID-19 tests to be at pharmacies, actually.  Right next to another Cory Gardner product (perhaps you'll recall his 2014 campaign ad)

    Congressman Cory Gardner has borrowed a page from Sen. Mark Udall by unveiling an ad aimed at women – in this case, the availability of birth control.

    “What’s the difference between me and Mark Udall on contraception? I believe the pill ought to be available over the counter, round the clock, without a prescription – cheaper and easier, for you,” Gardner says in the spot, as various women nod their heads.


    Another Gardner vapor-ware product, designed for campaign ads and not for actual legislation.

    • kwtree says:

      Morning-after birth control medication is available over the counter in Colorado, (although different pharmacies intentionally make it more difficult to buy)  but Gardner had nothing to do with it. Not that that stops him from taking credit.

      Colorado Times Recorder exposed Gardner’s birth control scam last year. Basically, it codifies federally what Coloradans already have, while with the other hand he was working to defund the ACA, especially the part about free contraception and Preventive gynecological care. 

      He also tried to defund Planned Parenthood, helped spread the lies about PP selling fetal body parts, and ignored Trump’sundermining Title X.

  3. MADCO says:

    "Anyone who wants a test can get one"


  4. Duke Cox says:

    Call me a conspiracy theorist, but something fishy is going on with the tests.

    I am curious, how are the following people involved?

    Jared Kushner, Peter Navarro, Kelly Anne Conway, Rudy Giuliani, Devon Nunes,  to name a few. And how is Airbridge involved? As I understand it, they are simply a middle man, taking a cut for getting their friends what they need…which is …testing. Social distancing put a dent in ventilator sales (but, the midwestern red states will expand the demand, beginning almost immediately.)

    I think perhaps, the T***p organization doesn’t quite have the market under their control. Soon, however, they will and the tests will start to materialize. Cory acts like he already has a piece of the action.

  5. Diogenesdemar says:

    Hey, quit bitchin’ always and just be happy with your frippin’ Big Gulp, . . .

    . . . that champagne is reserved for your betters.

    (see also: masks, ventilators, hospitals, disinfectants, food, bail-outs, and tax-cuts, . . .)

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