July 08, 2024 12:24 PM UTC

Don't Miss Weld County GOP's Upcoming...Rave?

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• by: Colorado Pols

They say Republicans aren’t hip, but the Weld County GOP is doing their best to change that…or at least we have to assume that was the idea behind what they’re billing as a “rave fundraiser” later this month:

For readers who didn’t go to these kinds of parties in your adolescence, “rave culture” got going in the early to middle 1990s as endless loops of what would otherwise be headache-fuel electronic music converged with the rise in popularity of a drug known as “Ecstacy,” which we’re told that today the kids call “Molly,” and made this loosely-defined “music” listenable much the same way any unpleasant experience can be made temporarily tolerable with euphoria-inducing drugs. Other traditional psychedelic drugs like LSD and mushrooms are also to be found in this party culture, but Ecstacy was and remains the drug of choice.

Since these are Republicans, we have to give them the benefit of the doubt that this “rave” is strictly about the music and not, you know, getting high. But if the only way a rave is tolerable is with drugs, and we submit to you that is correct, this Molly-less dance party could be a singularly unpleasant experience.

That, or it’s going to be a side of Weld County Republicans you’ve never seen before.