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December 13, 2009 12:22 AM UTC

I've Heard Ducks Fart Underwater Before

  • 6 Comments
  • by: madmike

When I was a kid growing up, anytime I tried to sell a line of BS to my father he would reply by saying, “Yeah, right.  I’ve heard ducks fart underwater before.”  Roughly translated to modern English: “Sorry, kid.  I’m not buying that one.  What kind of a sucker do you take me for?”

It seems like a day didn’t pass from 2000 to 2008 when someone in Washington didn’t make a comment that made me say to myself, “Yeah, right.  I’ve heard ducks fart underwater before.”  Remember these?

“America must not ignore the threat gathering against us. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof, the smoking gun that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.” – President George W. Bush

“Only the most deluded of us could doubt the necessity of this war (in Iraq).”  – Sen. John McCain, Arizona

“The American people expect and deserve a government that works and leaders who work together.” – Former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, Tennessee

“Each of us knows that we have an obligation to care for the old, the young and the sick. We stand strongest when we stand with the weakest among us.” – former Gov. Sarah Palin, Alaska

I naively thought things would get better when the Democrats got their chance to step up and start solving some of our many national problems.  But lately I find myself repeating that same phrase over and over again as I listen to comments made by our elected officials on the Democratic side of the political aisle.  Here are just a few examples:

“I don’t take a dime of their [lobbyist] money, and when I am president, they won’t find a job in my White House.” – President Barack Obama

“When it comes to making decisions, I will come down on the side of Nebraska every time.” – Sen. Ben Nelson, Nebraska

“We have done something to really repair a badly broken system.  We really have tried to take the casino-like atmosphere of lax regulation and excessive speculation out of Wall Street.” – Congressman Ed Perlmutter, Colorado

“Whether it’s making sure that families have access to quality health care and child care, or making sure that our children receive the best educational opportunities we can give them, we must remain committed to these needs because our children are our future.” – Sen. Blanche Lincoln, Arkansas

Oh, yeah?  Well guess what folks?  I’ve heard ducks!  And I’m really tired of the bullshit!!

We need a revolution in this country.  It needs to come from the grassroots and it needs to represent a broad spectrum of America.  We need to say enough is enough.  We need to find a way to end the system of legalized bribery called “campaign contributions.”  We need to enact ethics laws that say that the acceptance of a campaign contribution creates an inherent conflict of interest and, as such, disqualifies that politician from voting on any legislation associated with the contributor.  

Believe it or not, I honestly think that despite the horrible, racist things they sometimes say, the teabaggers, in many ways, are feeling the same sense of anger and frustration that I am.  We both feel like our government has lost touch with the people who elected them.  And even though many people will say that the teabaggers are just being duped by corporate interests who fund their rallies, I also feel like folks on the left like me are being duped by people like Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and, yes, Barack Obama and the moneyed interests who are pulling their strings.

I urge the people who head up progressive organizations, folks like Markos Moulitsas, Arianna Huffington, Jim Dean, Jane Hamsher, Chris Bowers, Melanie Sloan and so many others to team up.  You know who to include.  Put aside your egos and differences and forge one effort to take back our government for the people.  The politicians can’t and won’t do it.  Even think about reaching out to the people on the right, folks who support politicians like Ron Paul to see where we have common ground.  The change we need will not come from politicians in Washington.  We’re approaching a breaking point in this country.  Maybe we’ve already reached it.  I know I have.  I’m tired of listening to politicians tell me that, on a calm summer night, if you listen real carefully, you can hear the ducks fart underwater.

Comments

6 thoughts on “I’ve Heard Ducks Fart Underwater Before

  1. Key insight above: the tea baggers are victims of the economy gone off the tracks. The conclusions and so-called solutions offered by their leaders are fundamentally wrong, bordering on simple-minded, but the rank-and-file tea-bag anger is real and it’s legitimate. That popular anger is in jeopardy of being hijacked by the far-right.

    DEMOCRATS need to be the party that stands for change.

    DEMOCRATS need to be the party that says enough!

    DEMOCRATS need to be the party that reigns in a system run amok.

    DEMOCRATS need to represent the interests of the broad base of people who have to work for a living, who know what it means to get their hands dirty at work.

    DEMOCRATS cannot do this by nominating someone who is of, from, and bought by the very financial industry that has brought us to this crisis. The man temporarily holding one of our two Senate seats in his few short months in office has time after time shown himself to represent the interests of the financial industry that brought the economy to its knees to a much greater degree than normal economic cycles of capitalism would require. Not coincidentally, that man is one of the top four politico recipients of contributions from…the financial industry.(Fact not opinion.) Duh.

    DEMOCRATS need to wake up and demand that their party (a) nominate for the Senate someone clearly willing to stand for meaningful reform. IF that’s Romanoff, great; show us Andrew so we can get moving. Lookin’ for a way to differentiate yourself? Here it is. IF it’s not Romanoff, then we need to find someone else. And (b) reach out to tea partiers to help convey our common cause: the need to regulate and help organize the financial functions of the economy in order to get this country back onto a track that leads to sustainable, meaningful economic growth, by which I don’t mean derivatives.

    1. are on the same page, JO. Speaker Romanoff is the choice of the people…Michael Bennet is the choice of the Democratic Party establishment. Both, I believe, are honorable men. I KNOW this is true of Andrew, and the times I have met Sen. Bennet I have come away thinking that Bennet is also trustworthy.

      That said, I am not comfortable with the kind of access the wealthy and connected have in the Senators’ life.

      I come from a lower-middle class family of hillbillys. My extended family are white, blue collar Christians. Many of them have been duped for decades by the Republican party into thinking that the GOP was on their side. They now see that double-cross and the subsequent rage they feel is helping to power the Tea Party.

      Whether or not disaffected Dems will ever be able to work constructively with Tea Partiers is hard to predict, but as I have said in other places; the distance between the haves and the have-nots is much greater than the distance between the left and right. If liberal reformers and Tea Party Conservatives ever bury the hatchet over some ideological issues and focus on economics and the distribution of wealth… and CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM…Katy, bar the door.

      All of the old political paradigms are changing. Be prepared for surprises.

      1. When I said that in Ferburary, both Speaker Romanoff, and everyone on Colorado Pols besides Wade Norris said no he was not the people’s choice.

        Re writing history, and the Bennet position on things appears to be a fine art among his supporters.

        They even lie about their own points of view.

        They certainly DID NOT support the Speaker at a time that made most sense for him to enter. Neither did he.

      1. HOw much “new speak” are we expected to tolerate from the Speakers’ people?

        The Statesman has aticle thatmostly attacks John Wren for objecting to the Denver Cems breaking the rules to cancel a district meeting and hold a ROmanoff fundraiser at the exact same time and place as the district meeting. Cindy Lowery states that in November they decided to hold “a community service event” instead.

        It depends upon what the definition of community service is , I suppose.

        It’s a clear violation of ethics and of the rules.

        How is this not politics as usual? Basic systematic manipulation covered up by spin.  

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