August 11, 2010 07:07 PM UTC

Dan Maes Solves Illegal Immigration Problem

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• by: Colorado Pols

Let’s get this out of the way first before the shills start accusing us of trying to “attack” or “undermine” the campaign of Republican gubernatorial nominee Dan Maes: He can’t win. You know it. We know it. Everybody knows it. Maes cannot win the race for Governor, and he won’t.

Neither Maes nor Scott McInnis was going to beat Democrat John Hickenlooper in November, particularly with Tom Tancredo in the race on the American Constitution Party ticket. But we’re definitely glad to see Maes pull out the nomination over McInnis, because he’s…well…he’s hilarious. And not on purpose.

Maes was already spreading the knowledge in his victory speech last night, which included his brilliant plan to tackle illegal immigration. Just how will he solve this problem? Easy! Maes says that if he is elected Governor, he will “enroll the state in a program that deports illegal alien criminals.”

Enroll Colorado in a program to deport illegal alien criminals? Brilliant! Why didn’t anyone else ever think of that? You mean there is a program available to deport illegal immigrants, and Colorado just never bothered to “enroll”?

This should be a fun couple of months. Thank you, Republican voters.