Dan Maes Solves Illegal Immigration Problem

Let’s get this out of the way first before the shills start accusing us of trying to “attack” or “undermine” the campaign of Republican gubernatorial nominee Dan Maes: He can’t win. You know it. We know it. Everybody knows it. Maes cannot win the race for Governor, and he won’t.

Neither Maes nor Scott McInnis was going to beat Democrat John Hickenlooper in November, particularly with Tom Tancredo in the race on the American Constitution Party ticket. But we’re definitely glad to see Maes pull out the nomination over McInnis, because he’s…well…he’s hilarious. And not on purpose.

Maes was already spreading the knowledge in his victory speech last night, which included his brilliant plan to tackle illegal immigration. Just how will he solve this problem? Easy! Maes says that if he is elected Governor, he will “enroll the state in a program that deports illegal alien criminals.”

Enroll Colorado in a program to deport illegal alien criminals? Brilliant! Why didn’t anyone else ever think of that? You mean there is a program available to deport illegal immigrants, and Colorado just never bothered to “enroll”?

This should be a fun couple of months. Thank you, Republican voters.

65 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. D.H. Waite says:

    Section 287(g) of the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) was made law in the United States in 1995 as a result of the Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act (IIRIRA). Section 287(g) authorizes the Federal Government to enter into agreements with state and local law enforcement agencies, permitting designated officers to perform immigration law enforcement functions, pursuant to a Memorandum of Agreement (MOA), provided that the local law enforcement officers receive appropriate training and function under the supervision of sworn U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers. Under 287(g), ICE provides state and local law enforcement with the training and subsequent authorization to identify, process, and when appropriate, detain immigration offenders they encounter during their regular, daily law-enforcement activity.

    • Half Glass FullHalf Glass Full says:

      It’ll be a piece of cake for our local law enforcement agencies to put aside whatever nonsense they’re doing right now and get training “to perform immigration law enforcement functions.”

      I’m sure Washington D.C. would be pleased as punch to have Colorado foot the bill for this.

      Maybe we can hire back some of the 4,000 people Dan Maes is going to up and fire, as soon as he becomes governor, to perform these functions?

      It’s so easy to run for any office when you don’t give a shit about the facts and reality. Winning and actually governing, though, is a little more difficult and unpleasant. Just ask Sarah Palin.

        • Republican 36 says:

          If Mr. Maes is going to divert local law enforcement officers away from their local duties (a Colorado governor has no authority to do that) then he needs to come up with the money to replace them with other officers who can take up the slack in crime fighting.

          Second, in a different context four years ago in the Governors race, this same issue came up.  Under the U.S. Consitituion only the federal government has the authority to regulate immigration, including the act of deporting an individual. Illegal aliens who commit crimes are already deportable, not because of the crimes they commit, but because they are illegal regardless of their behavior in the United States. On the other hand legal aliens are deportable only if they commit certain crimes, usually felonies.

          When I worked at the U.S. Attorneys office here in Colorado, the Denver DA’s office would notify our office if an illegal alien was convicted of a crime or was in custody. The federal government sometimes would pick-up the illegal alien but many times would not for the simple reason Congress never appropriated enough money to ICE (INS in those days) to sufficiently staff the agency so they could pick-up and deport these individuals.

          Taking Mr. Maes at his word, he has just endorsed new spending at both the local, state and federal levels.  

    • Colorado PolsColorado Pols says:

      State and local law enforcement officials can already detain illegal immigrants for breaking the law. But they still cannot deport anyone — only Federal law enforcement officials can initiate a deportation.  

  2. DavidThi808DavidThi808 says:

    I also think Hick will win by a lot. But keep in mind Maes has been written off throughout. First he would be a blip at the caucuses and his campaign would end there. Then he was going to tank at the state assembly and the questions was would he hit 30%. Then it was no way does he win the primary.

    Granted, McInnis followed the standard GOP statewide candidate plan of self-immolation. But still, Maes keeps winning when his chances are listed as impossible. I think Hick should worry.

    • Colorado PolsColorado Pols says:

      The vote for Maes was more about Republicans not voting for McInnis than an approval of Maes as their candidate.

      • Very few Republicans were obtuse enough to vote for either McInnis or Maes Tuesday. About 5% of us who voted in the GOP’s senate primary didn’t vote in the gubernatorial primary.

        With that under vote, we sent a strong message to the GOP that we will not support unethical and incompetent candidates, regardless. GOP leaders never will admit that they got the message, if they did or ever will.

        This morning, Nathan Chambers, the former chair of the Arapahoe County GOP declared that Dan Maes is unqualified to be governor and that he is in over his head. That’s putting it mildlly, I think.

        There are a lot of Mike Rosen groupies out there who put party above integrity and competence, but I think they’ll come around as they learn how unqualified Maes is.

        On 850KOA this morning, former state treasurer, Mark Hillman, sat in for Rosen who mysteriously picked this week to do a cruise with some listeners. Hillman advised Maes to take a day or a week off to learn the  issues. Maes is like McInnis. He’s never seen an issue book that he wanted in his old car, much less to read.

        I’m looking for Maes to sink like a rock in the polls. Whether that will bring GOP leaders around to Tancredo or not, I can’t predict. Based on their current behavior, I’m not optimistic that the GOP establishment and groupies will every get it.

        Meanwhile, I think Republicans will focus on electing Ken Buck, Scott Gessler and John Suthers. I worry that the party and its sugar daddies won’t get their act together and take back the legislature. Maybe they’ve got their act together, but, if so, it’s a big secret.

      • Barron X says:


        The Maes victory is completely attributable to David Barnes and the crossover movement he led.  

        Fewer than 600 of the Maes votes were from real Republicans.  The rest were Democrats who changed registration just to vote Maes.  Just like the GOP did in South Carolina, voting for Alvin Greene.  


    • Ralphie says:

      There will be a lot of third-party money spent in this election to slime Hick.  Having two opponents means double the slime.

    • davebarnesdavebarnes says:

      be celebrating HickUNlooper’s win with made-in-the-USA sparkling wine. None of that foreign French stuff for me.

    • AristotleAristotle says:

      I’d say that Maes has also had a whole lot of luck up to this point. The teabaggers are driving the GOP bus, so “establishment” ‘pubs are having a harder time of it than their Dem counterparts. Further, the McPlagiarist scandal broke at just the right time. Tanc’s foray is probably the only real bad luck he’s faced, as it ensures a split ‘pub vote in November.

      But even without Tanc, I think Maes had reached the end of his line. He’s a nut and nowhere near the business success story he told people he was. And Hick may be the most popular politician Colorado has seen in a generation or two.

      Right now, Maes needs a huge stroke of luck to even contend – a Hickenlooper scandal on par with McInnis’, or even worse. I know the smear machine is trying to use that “he hired an illegal alien murderer” angle, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – on average, Americans don’t care that much about illegal immigration. Tanc and the GOP have mostly riled up the xenophobes, but that achievement is countered by the fact that they’ve alienated this country’s Hispanics, a largely socially conservative group who was starting to go over to the GOP in significant numbers until Tanc and the Minutemen reared their ugly heads. If Maes feels he has to compete with Tanc on this, he’ll only make sure that the number of Hispanics voting GOP in Colorado is miniscule.

    • caroman says:

      “I also think Hick will win by a lot.  …I think Hick should worry.”

      Here are some signs of passive-aggressive behavior:

      –Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of engendering a feeling of insecurity in others

      –The passive aggressive often cannot trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone.

      –Making chaotic situations


      Following your bizarre Bennet/Romanoff switch, now you plow into the Hickenlooper race?  You’ve been blogging quite a lot today.  I think it’s time to go back to work, David.

  3. Half Glass FullHalf Glass Full says:

    Will Tancredo shoot down Maes as impossibly naive?

    Or will Tancredo smack his meaty forehead and say: “Gee, you’re right, Dan: I never thought of that before! I guess I’ll quit my own campaign and support you from now on!”

  4. your first ten illegal immigration deportations are absolutely free.

    That’s right, for just a $.01 enrollemnt fee today, you can deport your first ten illegal immigrants and not have to pay anything more, ever.

    Then each month ater that we’ll send you, with absolutely no obligation, another two illegal immigrants from our warehouse.  Review these new illegals for thirty days risk free.  If you decide not to keep them, simply deport them in the envelope provided.  Or, you may choose your own deportations from our catalog.

    Remember, your first ten risk-free deportations are only one penny.  After that whoever you decide to deport is up to you, we’ll simply bill your credit card each month depending on your selections.

    Plus, if you act now today, we’ll also send you as a bonus gift, our very popular UN Subversion Tote Bag.  You’ll find this just the right thing for organizing and storing that clutter of conspiracy dossiers that you’ve been meaning to read, but haven’t yet had time for.  Even if you decided not to enroll in our deportation program, the UN Subversion Tote Bag is yours to keep —  (you’ll just pay our small shipping and handling fee).

    So, why wait another minute, for only $.01 you’ll get ten free deportations — and — your very own UN Subversion Tote Bag.  That’s an incredible value.

    So, tune your tin-foil rabbit ears to far far right of normalcy, and call now.  Our operators are standing by.

  5. VoyageurVoyageur says:

    bangs the immigration drum, the more votes he drives to Tancredo.  Not a winning strategy.

  6. WendyNorris says:

    According to Denver Post honcho Dean Singleton on Jon Caldara’s KOA show last night.

    Audio clip here.

    h/t Ralphie

  7. gyrogyrl says:

    Where is Maes going to find the $$ for such a program in the state or federal budget?

    A report  by the Center for American Progress says it will cost $285 billion to find, apprehend, detain, legally process and transport the almost 11 million illegal immigrants in the U.S. and maintain current enforcement levels at the border and interior for five years.

  8. I’d think he was gunning for a spot as Tancredo’s Lieutenant Governor. After all, he’s been the nominee for less than 24 hours and he’s already beating Tancredo’s drums for him. Maybe he thinks “addressing” immigration will encourage Tancredo to feel comfortable dropping out, but that ain’t happening. When have we ever known the Tanc to be a quitter? Shoot, he didn’t even quit Congress on the date he promised to do so.

  9. I wonder if the voices in his head haven’t forgotten to tell him the Republican primary is over.

  10. Long time lurker, first time poster.

    And as much as it pains me, Dan Maes actually is talking about something that is not some “pie in the sky” idea.

    The program is called “Secure Communities” and gives the Federal Government access to local community fingerprint and arrest records.  It has been used in other cities to help the Federal Government deport people.

    Governor Ritter is considering making Denver part of the Secure Communities program.  This is likely what Maes is talking about.  

  11. ohwilleke says:

    Because, of course, no administration has ever deported so many non-citizens (documented and undocumented alike, if you must know) on the grounds that those non-citizens have been convicted of crimes.

    I’m glad that Maes is such a supporter of bipartisan approaches to policy issues.

  12. He’ll be fine once he has a crash course in how the government works. here’s a good starting point for him:

    Next step: Join a DPS middle school class on a tour of the State Capitol.

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