Stephen Colbert Inevitably Discovers “Dr. Chaps”

When we say that the election of Gordon "Dr. Chaps" Klingenschmitt to the Colorado General Assembly a week ago is a "victory" that Colorado Republicans will come to sorely regret, last night's episode of The Colbert Report is what we mean.

Raw Story:

“Yes,” Colbert replied, “it is reminiscent of the positive campaign the villagers ran to elect Frankenstein. But Klingenschmitt stands for so much more. He doesn’t hate the gays, he’s just concerned for them, as he demonstrates on his YouTube program.”

“The demonic spirits inside the homosexual agenda are trying to redefine family,” Klingenschmitt says in the clip, “trying to homosexualize your children. Jesus, if he were giving marriage counseling to two gay men who were married, Jesus would command them to get divorced.”

“Yes,” Colbert responded, “if Jesus were their marriage counselor, he would tell them to get divorced. And he would take 65 minutes to do it, so he could charge them the second hour. But it’s not just the gays — everyone needs a little Klingenschmitt exorcism.”

"If you're not voting for him, you're voting for the Democrat and quite honestly legislative majorities matter," said Klingenschmitt's predecessor in House District 15, former House Minority Leader Mark Waller, explaining how he or anyone could vote for a candidate who honestly believes that the President of the United States–among many, many others–is literally possessed by demons. Or that a sitting member of Congress wants to "join ISIS" in beheading Americans. Or that Obamacare "causes cancer," and the FCC is allowing "demonic spirits" to "visually rape your children." As our readers know, we could go on and on and on. The only thing that's changed now is that Klingenschmitt has actually won elected office–and as a state representative, Klingenschmitt metastasizes from irrelevant sideshow freak to a nationwide poster child for the far Republican right.

And before the story of "Dr. Chaps" is over, we predict Mark Waller will eat his words.

14 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. bullshit! says:

    Chaps is who they are. Waller voted for Chaps because Chaps will vote the same way as Waller.

    This is Doug Bruce's old seat. This is who they are.

  2. Moderatus says:

    Nice try. Klingenschmitt speaks for himself, NOT the GOP. Pols knew this before they wrote this BS, because the Colorado GOP denounced Klingenschmitt IN AUGUST.

    Call told FOX31 Denver Monday night that the comments aren’t representative of Republicans as a whole.

    “Gordon, as I’ve said before, does not speak for the Colorado Republican Party,” Call told FOX31 Denver. “His views do not reflect my personal position or the position of the party.

    “But this tired, ineffectual tactic of trying to brand all Republicans based on these comments — the Todd Akin approach — it’s not going to work this time around,” Call continued. “Voters are too sophisticated. They know that one legislative candidate in Colorado Springs doesn’t reflect the views of Bob Beauprez or Cory Gardner.”

    • dustpuppy says:

      And still they voted for insanity over sanity. You own it, Moderatus, as a member of GORP.



    • bullshit! says:

      Right, except at the local level they winked and nodded and told their people to vote for him. Including Mark Waller.

      Nice try…

    • Gilpin Guy says:

      But he does represent the views of every tiny brained doofus in the Republican Party who believes that climate change is a fantasy and a figment of the imagination.  Democrats believe the demons of famine and ecological destruction are real and greedy Republicans work overtime like the businessman in Aliens to unleash them as often as possible.  I'm much more afraid of the demons feared by Democrats than the demons feared by Klingenschmitt.

  3. gaf says:

    Claiming the Republicans "denounced" Klingenschmitt doesn't fly. Sure, Call make the statement that Dr. Chaps doesn't speak for the party. That's not a denouncement. And El Paso County Republican Chair Jeff Hays said, "He's a vote for a whole host of positive initiatives the Republican Party is going to have so absolutely we want him to win." That's not denouncement either. Then, the next time Dr. Chaps got national attention for his absurd statements, neither Hays nor El Paso County Republicans Executive Director Daniel Cole would make a public comment at all.

    But I don't think Rep. Waller is concerned about "eating his words." Clearly that vote to try to reach a majority was important to Waller and the Republicans. They were willing to put up with the problems. Unfortunately, the rest of us have to live with the consequences as well.

  4. mamajama55 says:

    Chaps claims to have a mandate (from heaven, of course), against the "tyranny of gay marriage". Because gays are such tyrants.


Leave a Reply

Comment from your Facebook account

You may comment with your Colorado Pols account above (click here to register), or via Facebook below.